Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

At a loss with childcare

50 replies

dadindiapers · 09/01/2023 01:45

Dad with no family support and three little ones 2,3,5. On a decent wage so not eligible for 30h childcare and cannot work from home all week. Really struggling to find any suitable childcare options. Spoken with the school (and parents) and the council and advertised locally to see if someone would do a drop-off and two pick-ups. No luck so far. Getting desperate I might have to quit a job I love and look for something that pays enough (mortgage and whatnot) to work from home.
OPen to any ideas please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Jadviga · 09/01/2023 02:13

Can you negotiate a little bit more flexibility from work ? So that you come into the office a bit later and leave earlier, but wfh a few hours after the kids' bedtime ?

This way instead of working from the office 3 days a week and wfh 2 days a week, you'd be in the office everyday but for fewer hours, and wfh the rest of the time whenever you can fit the hours ?

Jadviga · 09/01/2023 02:14

Also maybe try to make friends with other parents at your kids' school, and see if one of them might do the pick ups and drop offs (for a fee even ?)

talknomore · 09/01/2023 02:21

Did you send a letter to all parents in your kids classes? Maybe you can fid 3 sets of helpers? Can you offer a drop off or a pick up to other parents in return?
Did you check childminders too?
Often nursery workers do jobs like that. Did you enquire about it?
How about contacting local nanny agencies?

yellowtwo · 09/01/2023 02:24

Your best bet is a stay at home Mam, any on your street or that you see at the school gates? Be upfront about payment and hours, and if the person you ask isn't available ask if they could recommend someone.

Lifeispassingby · 09/01/2023 02:28

How have you advertised? It may be worth going to a nanny agency as you might be more likely to find someone that way. You must be a very high earner if not eligible for 30hr funding?

sjxoxo · 09/01/2023 02:51

Could you consider an au pair? Best of luck x

HappyAsASandboy · 09/01/2023 02:58

To in ineligible for 30h funding you must be earning over £100k per annum.

A nanny agency would be the most efficient way to find childcare, and a nanny would be the most supportive childcare for you, given the ages of your children. Have you tried any agencies?

I really really wouldn't recommend working from home to solve this childcare issue. It's one thing wfh so that you can collect a 10 year old and then continue working, but once you have children under 10 at home, you really can't work properly.

Look for a nanny.

user432900976 · 09/01/2023 05:01

Where are you based OP?

Searchingforsunshine · 09/01/2023 06:45

Au pair?

JenniferBarkley · 09/01/2023 07:13

Working from home with three children of those ages won't work, for work or for the children.

Ours are a similar age and we use nursery and after school club, sorry if this is stupid but it isn't clear from your OP - are you not doing the same because of cost or availability? Any local childminders who would take all of them?

Looking after DC of those days is full on and the system is crap, so unfortunately the only way for reliable childcare is to pay for it (unless you're lucky with family).

EarlyYearsMe · 09/01/2023 07:16

I would recommend trying Bubble babysitting app & childcare.co.uk

memyselfi · 09/01/2023 09:13

Childminders offer wraparound care although you'd be expected to drop the children off before you go to work and pick up in the evening .
This is pretty standard and I'm not sure what the obstacle is.
Is it a matter of cost ?
If you earn over £100k to be ineligible for the 30hrs I would think you could pay for care.

Sillyheadoooooo · 09/01/2023 09:19

It’s hard to find childminders just for wrap around care because people expect it for peanuts. Au pairs are pretty much impossible to come by now cause of Brexit. Surely you’d be better with a private nursery for the younger two that covers working hours and does your school not have wrap around clubs for the school ages child? Otherwise see if you can find a childminder who does day rates and as they already have two full day rates from you, may do wrap around care too.
unless it’s for under 2hours a day you can’t just advertise for any Tom, dick or Harry to do it for you as they have to be ofsted registered and will have things like paediatric aid, DBS checks etc.

Jmaho · 09/01/2023 10:08

Private nursery for the younger two (ours was open 51 weeks a year from 7.30am to 6pm) then before and after school club for the 5 year old
Or nanny/au pair
Impossible to wfh if children are at home especially if you're earning over £100k a year. Poss just for an hour or so but not all day you'd get nothing done

LucyWhipple · 09/01/2023 10:12

Surely a nanny is the way to go? And should be affordable on 100k+

It’s hard to understand from your post what you’ve actually tried. Private nursery + after school club or childminder? You might have to do different things for the little ones vs the one at school.

underneaththeash · 09/01/2023 11:09

start with the most difficult situation first - the one at school. You need before and after school provision. If their current school doesn’t provide it, look at local nurseries/after school clubs. If neither are viable move their school to one that does (or at least put their name on the waiting list), your going to need to for quite a few years, with three children - so you need a school which works for you.

Alternatively, all three could go to a childminder (one before and after school only) if you can find one with space.

once you have the school age child sorted, then sort out the other two. It may be that you need to move to a different childcare setting for 2 days.

The au pair idea won’t work, there are v few at the moment anyway. - as a single dad you’ll have fewer options too and you have lots of small children!

m good luck.

ChildminderMum · 09/01/2023 13:43

Are childminders not an option? What have you explored so far?

SheilaFentiman · 09/01/2023 13:47

What were you doing before the 5 year old went to school?

Original poster

dadindiapers · 09/01/2023 17:48

Thank you everyone for all the amazing advice. It has helped me get some clarity on how I could go about solving this. Thank you!

I do apologise for the rather unclear 'help!' scribble. To provide some further context:

Earning: Yes, just above the threshold for 30h free childcare, hence not eligible

Live in SE and work in central - 1.5 hr commute (if I run between changes)

Things that I have tried so far: Nursery for one, that I withdrew due to cost, distance, and care concerns. For the 5-year-old until 2 I had support, then covid and I could work remotely for 4 days. This changed in July last year.
AuPair: Considered but dismissed as I feel too inexperienced to look after three
Childminder: Not one willing to take all three (but will now explore possibly two childminders)
School wrap-around: Not available. I do feel like a button for not considering another school. Started looking into this today.
Local parent support: short of carrying a sign I have tried everything I feel but will continue to speak to other parents.

Nanny: Considered it previously but the cost was high ~ £40k p.a. out of my Net

Based on everyone's suggestions I am now looking at:

Nanny options for 24 months (30+ hrs a week). Expensive and I will need to assume debt to cover other expenses but may help get through until the youngest is also 8 am - 3 pm.
Looking at other schools with better wraparound options
Possibly moving closer to work so I save commute time. I can return the time saving to my employer and possibly agree to work extra hours late evening

Most importantly I feel a plan materialising. Thanks, everyone!

OP posts:

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/01/2023 18:04

You could consider in the short term making additional pension payments into your pension sufficient to drop you under the £100k limit for the 30 hours. Overall it's worth it and of course your pay is in your pension.

Jmaho · 09/01/2023 18:08

I was just about the say the same. If you're earning just above the cut off then reduce your income down by increasing pension
I'm still not clear on what you're doing childcare wise now. You say your wfh ended in July last year what have you been doing since then? You surely haven't been working from home with two little ones all day have you? I earn a lot lot less and would not be allowed to wfh without childcare
Not good for anyone. Childcare us a huge expense but it's none negotiable. Get something sorted and reduce your income so you can claim then sort out some proper after school provision as all 3 will need it in a few years time

astronewt · 09/01/2023 18:10

You still get 15 free hours at age 3 if you earn over 100kpa.

Post an ad on nannyjob, childcare.co.uk, or local Facebook for a wraparound nanny or nannyshare. In the SE you do have a genuine chance of finding a nannyshare. Or consider moving schools; after all you're going to need breakfast club and ASC for a long time, and your oldest DC hasn't been there years to be ripped away from friends.

EarlyYearsMe · 09/01/2023 18:18

Another consideration OP, nanny share. Local Facebook parent groups near me often advertise for another family to join in with the nanny share (I’m NLondon)

SheilaFentiman · 09/01/2023 18:19

If you are in the SE, many schools will be full. If you do move oldest DC, make sure there is a sibling preference for the next two (not all schools have this, some are distance first)

SheilaFentiman · 09/01/2023 18:20

“You say your wfh ended in July last year what have you been doing since then? You surely haven't been working from home with two little ones all day have you”

I think they have been at nursery but pick ups were easier when WFH?

Flip

1 2