Child maintenance - self employed ex stopped paying

[bagire]

I need some advice on this..
We separated 4 yrs ago with my ex and finalizing divorce now. We have two children age 12 and 13, and they spend most of their time with me. Our arrangement was flexible to suit everyone, nothing set in stone, they do spend a fair amount at their dad's I've always encouraged, I would say about 70% with me and 30% at dad's.
Ex suddenly stopped paying child support without notice. He started a new family, had a baby and recently moved to a bigger house he is renting. The child support he used to pay me - now goes toward his increased rent. His argument is, that it's 50-50 with the children, hence he doesn't have to pay me anything. The reality is, that it's not 50-50, I take the children to their activities almost every day, even when they spend the night at their dad's, because he can't be bothered to follow up and to take them. Both kids are doing performance sport, which involves training almost every day, traveling to tournaments at the weekends, and I pay for everything, clothes, classes, petrol, equipment, physio - and this mounts up and costs more then the child maintenance he used to pay, not to mention the time I take from work to support them - and I am self employed. Now suddenly ex decided not to pay anything.
Last week I started the process with the Child Maintenance Services, but I don't have high hopes. He is self employed, probably takes a low salary. It is so unfair because he lives a lavish lifestyle, living in a beautiful 5 bedroom house in an affluent area, with two fancy cars, going on foreign vacation with his new gf, going out all the time and posting it all on FB..
My question is - would Child Maintenance Services take his lifestyle into consideration? Or will just look at his declared income of cca £800 pm? I don't think his self employed business is doing well either, so his tax return will not be showing much profit. Ex always been irresponsible with money.
The other issue will be his argument for the 50-50 time with the children.
I am really tired of all this, and I don't want to be fighting an uphill battle I am not going to win. I can't afford a fancy solicitor either. Anybody had a similar experience, and what was the outcome? Any suggestion or advice is appreciated..
Many thanks x

Sadly only nights are counted for CMS purposes. Even if you had them every day, if he has 50% of nights then that’s that.

They won't. It's disgusting we need a system like America where divorce, visitation and CMS are all tied in and they base the amount off the amount of money you earn and your earning potential. How people haven't rioted over this is don't know.

Similar position not found a solution.

Do you know his declared income?

If he has half the nights he won’t have to pay anything. Even if he doesn’t as he’s self employed you’ll struggle to make him.

His partner is presumably funding the cars and holidays and her income isn’t relevant to what he has to pay as they’re his children not hers. Him having another child would also reduce the amount if he was paying.

It isn’t true that he doesn’t have to pay anything if he has the DC 50% of the nights. Even if he does, the CMS should look at which parent has main responsibility. If you’re doing all the activities you can argue that you have main responsibility and should get some maintenance. You can go to a Tribunal about this and also ask them to look at any undeclared earnings.

if he’s paying nothing, be ducking awkward. Make sure you provide nothing for when they go over, don’t reply to anything. You can also ask the CmS to look over his tax returns for the last year and you can report him to HMRC for tax evasion if you do think he is underpaying.

Hiya,

DS lives with me and has visitation via contact centre once a week (until we get to the final decision in court)

I am going through exactly this too. I’ve been in contact with the CMS and they found an extra £900 a week income from stocks, shares in my exs name.

My ex paid CM for 5 months after we split and then assaulted me on a handover and never paid since. He’s taken me to court for 50/50 even though it won’t be him doing the care and never did when we were together.
DS is 2.5 years ould.

The court is hands down one of the most unfair, traumatising and unjust places I have ever been. I suffered emotional, and physical abuse as well as coercive control during the relationship which is why I left. I have been advised that this doesn’t even make a difference to custody even when your child is present during abuse. Him taking me to court is just another part of the post separation abuse that I have suffered and he is only wanting 50/50 out of spite.

When you have 50/50 neither parent has to child maintenance money, so this is another reason they want 50/50 as some parents can’t bare to send money to the other parent.

you are not allowed to bring up finances in family court either!? It’s so odd!

Mt ex claims he makes 11 thousand pound a year.. but has a LAVISH lifestyle with top tier memberships to gyms, social clubs (Soho house), golf clubs, football season tickets, and takes foreign holidays. He is also still in our family home after throwing me out and took the car I used 5 months after we split after leaving me in such a awful stressful position, with our child he “cares so much about”.

How can they get away with pretending they care so much but want to do everything to make you struggle and the court and CMS cannot see it!?

I would ring the CMS and explain, because I explained this and they did find some more income. However I switched to collect and pay but ex is the CEO of his tech recruitment company so I still haven’t received any payment because he is in charge of paying himself and where the money goes out of the business account.
Originally the CMS said he only had to give £90 per month and then now it’s gone up to £250 but I still haven’t got anything or know what’s going on. I know my ex will try everything to get out of paying, and his accountant will help him do that too.
But it still worth giving it a try. But I can understand the frustration and it’s the principle. But why should your children suffer!?

I hate to be negative, but some people (dads from my experience) just hate parting with their money to support their children because they think your going out shopping or living your life with their money, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Sorry for the off load but I am also at my wits end with the justice system and general way of the world. I hope things get sorted for you and your children!