childminders opinions on swapping days for after school care

[bethelsie]

hi just wanted your opinions on how you would normally handle this situation. I asked the childminder for a favour to swap a tuesday to thursday for this week as have an unexpected meeting after work this week. This has been the first time i have ever asked this in five years. Her response was no i only work to contract, why should i loose money. meaning she was expecting pay for the tuesday and thursday if she agreed to do this. whats made me feel quite upset by this as i regularly pick my child up early, pay till 5 but pick up at 4 and on lots of occasions i can get out of work to pick my child up from school so she doesnt go to the child minder. i still always pay of course. Im upset as i feel its ok for me to be flexible with the contract, but on one occassion i would like to swap one day, she wont do it only for extra money. There is no issues with numbers and she also picks her own child up from the school, so its not as though she has to make a special trip out. If she had said to me oh sorry im doing something on that day, i would have been fully understanding.
As childminders what i really want to know is, how would you have dealt with this, and am i out of order for feeling a bit upset and angry.

TBH from a childminders point of view I wish I could be more like your cm, instead I feel put upon and taken for granted and am considering quitting. However you sound like a good parent to mind for and I do think in thse circumstances she could have let it go, he trouble is most cms know from bitter experience that if we give an inch people take a mile. I guess that's my long winded way of saying you are being punished for other parents not being so considerate of their childminders.

I normally would have said yes of course I can as I am a people pleaser then would have been telling myself off all night for being such a pushover!

I understand that you are upset but I'm kinda with the childminder on this

"i regularly pick my child up early, pay till 5 but pick up at 4" * well that's nice but you have to pay til 5 - surely it's in the contract

"and on lots of occasions i can get out of work to pick my child up from school so she doesnt go to the child minder." * Again that's lovely but C/Mer can't make any other arrangements on that night (eg take her child to a friends to play, go shopping with her mum) because she is booked to collect - so the first she knows is at 3 when you turn up

i still always pay of course. * surely that's in the contract too

So you go and ask someone else how provides a service to change it (at what seems to be fairly sort notice) & I think they would say you had to pay for both - eg my reflexologist would as she can't book anyone in to MY spot on a Thursday morning - even if I want it on Tuesday (because I will want Thursday next week)

So you do have my sympathy - but it is a business

I would have helped you out if I could. I think it depends on how the parents are generally but as you are a good parent then I would have done it for you.

as a cm her response sounds unreasonable to me - I would have said yes in an instant and not thought twice - especially as you say you have been so consistent for five years, what is one little favour ? But like kaysamuels says, yes you probably are being punished for other parents taking the piss out of her, which is very unfair to her. I would try to reason with her if you can.

I feel like the push over really. Ive always paid on time, never late to pick up, treated her with up most respect and i want one little favour and its no, i only work to contract. I pay till five, but always pick her up at 4, never quibbled about the money. this has really upset me, but im still trying to work out why im so upset

I would feel upset to, it sounds like you have been a good parent to her. If it is only a one off favor, then I don't see the prob. I know some cms who are like this, very strict on contracts, no favours etc, and thats fine, but some like me are happy to give and take a bit and be flexible where we can. Ithelps with the relationshop after all. I hope you resolve the issue with her, or feel better about it soon.

As a childminder I would have said yes and not thought twice about it if I was able to. I have done it on several occasions for the children I mind at the moment.
She may well be punishing you for other peoples selfishness in the past, but that's hardly your fault and to be quite so blunt about it seems a bit rude if you ask me.

Its one of the reasons why i chose a childminder to look after my child as i wanted my child to be in a family environment after school, you know relax, chill out and also that i would know the person really well, be part of the family, if you no want i mean. now i feel all the emphasis is on money and thats it. Im not really explaining this very well, sorry.

I am sometimes asked to swap days for after-schoolies. According to my contracts, I could charge for both the original day and the new one required. However, I really feel that CMs do need to be flexible about arrangements and, as I have parents who don't mess me around, am happy to accommodate changes (and not charge for both days).

I do agree that we are running a business, but I also think that we need to offer a bit of give-and-take sometimes.

Other posters are probably correct though - if your minder has been messed around by other people, you may all be treated the same way.

I'm sorry you didn't get a positive response from your childminder. Most childminders won't have a problem with being flexible within the hours you've agreed in your contract. The point of the contract is to reserve the hours you need with your chosen childcarer, but you don't have to use all the hours you've booked if you don't need them. Thats your choice. But anything outside your contracted hours has not been reserved for your child and so there can't be any guarantee of the childminder's availability. IMO she is not being out of order declining your request but it does sound as though she could have been more polite about it.

If I happen to have a place available I will try to accommodate such requests but I would follow my contract which says you would be charged for the contracted day and the extra day. If you gave lots of notice and I was able to use your unwanted day for another child then I would only charge the family using the place. I don't charge 2 families for the same place.

There are lots of reasons why I have had to decline such requests - where the needs of the child aren't compatible with those already booked in, where it would mean I can't fit everyone in the car, where I had bought tickets for a day out and wouldn't have one for your child, where I had a personal commitment or appointment, a day off etc etc. I have sometimes had to decline where I technically had a place for the age group but I considered it wasn't appropriate for the total number of children booked in. For example, I can legally have up to 12 children (but no more than 6 under 8s) so if I had lots of older children booked in I wouldn't take my full capacity of younger ones.

So its not just about whether she has an available place you see.

I would have swapped days no problem, but I am a soft touch. When I was working and my ds was with a childminder she would have charged me as you described, it's a business thing.

However, I feel a c/m that some flexibility is a good thing and if I had a parent like you I would be thrilled!

You are probably being punished for bad behaviour from her other parents. My sympathies but I do understand why she has said it.

In defense of the c/m it's not just a money thing, you can have a great relationship with the families and the children but it's also an earning and as a self-employed person you have to take care of yourself too.