Childminder anxiety

[charmama]

Hi all.

I'm an NHS nurse who is tired and drained from the shift pattern, 60 minute commute to/from work each way and sick of not being around to put my 1 year old DS to bed and be there for when he wakes. I have recently applied for a couple of nursing roles that are completely home based and the salary is almost double - and the role itself feels like something I want to pursue. The requirements of the job are 3 hour-long telephone consultations each morning, therefore I have been weighing up childcare options. We CANNOT afford to be spending over £1300 a month on nurseries and so I have been looking into childminders.. I just feel so anxious about leaving him in the care of someone I don't know in their home. I understand that it is a recognised profession and it can be nice for children to be developing in a home environment - I think it will definitely affect me more than it will him! Am I being over the top? He is my first baby.

** a family friend has just become a childminder and she lives 15 mins from me, I think I would feel much better if he went to someone I know and trust but I would like to hear your opinions on using a childminder that you know. Is it better?

He is just so completely precious to us and I wish we could afford for me to give up work and stay home with him but it is just not possible.

TIA

I used a childminder that was recommended to me by someone who’s has 3 kids in her care for many years. I didn’t know her to start off with but I knew instinctively that she’d be great for my kids.

I use a childminder for my second my mum had my eldest but changed jobs so couldn't have my youngest. I went and had a chat with her and just knew I could trust her. It's fit instinct. I looked at nurseries too and just felt more comfortable with this option.

My mum is a childminder so I'm very lucky that I'll be able to leave future DC with her. I do often wonder how people leave their children with a stranger but thankfully they do or she'd be put of a job. I think the only thing you can do is trust your instincts when you meet them and see their home.

DM has had many children who she knew before hand (relatives or family friends). She's had no issues and the children tend to settle in much faster

Personally I prefer to keep friendship and business separate. You need to think about how potential issues with or disagreements over care may affect your friendship and whether that’s acceptable to you.
I like the nursery my youngest goes to and the individual people but I haven’t thought twice about raising issues with them not sure I’d have done this with a friend.

Childminders have been suitability checked in the same way as nursery staff. You can get to know them rather than one of many changing staff who you and your child may rarely see. Checking references, talking to existing families and seeing the relationships between minder and children all help you get a feeling of how things are care wise.
Most will do several visits with you before you decide.
Have a chat and find someone with your parenting ideas and who you gel with.

Don’t use friend

always keep work and personal life separate

if on Fb. Ask in local town group if any cm

yes leaving your baby with what is a total stranger is scary but they would have had the relevant checks

meet a few and see how you feel q

good ones do get booked up so if you find one you like sort out contract asap

Go and see some childminders, as many as you can. You will get a feel for them and their settings. Speak to the parents of the children that are there. Join local childcare Facebook groups and get recommendations.

I am a childminder and I completely understand your anxiety. My children were in childcare before I became a childminder so I completely understand. I became a childminder because my profession was not conducive with family life, but I will be returning in a couple of years when my own children are older.
Each childminder is different. I personally run a home from home setting which includes lots of planned outings, playgroups etc and some run of the mill things like trips to the supermarket.

I have just received my latest outstanding grade from Ofsted and I got that, mainly, for how closely I work in Partnership with my families. Even today I worked from 11am until 7.30pm because of an unexpected bereavement in the family of a child I look after.
A great childminder will put your mind at ease and work with you for the best possible outcomes for you and your child.

I hope you find a childcare solution that works for you

Aww I can totally relate to where you are coming from...With my first DD (now 5) I was so anxious about her being cared for by anyone else and managing without me all day and not being inconsolable that I quit my job and became a SAHM (even though we couldn't really afford it) She went to childcare (preschool) for the first time when she was nearly 3.It was so scary at first leaving her, but then I gradually began to see how much she enjoyed having her own little place to socialise and partipate in the little routines and activities.I felt so proud of watching her 'spread her wings' and it was lovely seeing and hearing what she had been upto.
I then became familiar through another mum with a lovely childminder in our village, and knew that I would want to use her for DD2.I booked her in when i was 3mths pregnant and never looked back.She is wonderful...she nurtures, loves and cares for DD2 like she is her own, she goes above and beyond for us and is so passionate about her role...she is more like a family member or friend.I remember when the other mum I knew used her (when DD1 was a baby) I was saying to her how I would worry about someone else driving my child around, taking them out and about and not knowing exactly where they were and when, and asking how did she manage to not worry about that.Her response was that 'she would trust her with her life so it just doesn't worry her' and now I totally get what she meant because I feel the same.
When you know someone is 'right' you know....you just get a good feeling and know you can trust them 100%.If you feel your friend would fit the bill then it sounds a great idea...its someone you already know well which is a great start.
I was worried how baby would settle with sleeping, feeding etc (EBF, always fed to sleep) but I read other people's experiences on here about how well their little ones adjusted with other people, and she really has.We built the sessions up gradually which I think really helped....at 10 months she settled really well with no upset or reluctance and has never looked back in the past 3mths she has been going.
Good luck with your decision x

I used childminder for all my three. I trust them way more than a nursery with lots of children.

my eldest went to a childminder over a nursery as I wanted the home from
home environment when I returned to work. It was amazing and she thrived there and I built up a really good relationship with the childminder. So much so, I’m sending my twins there (even though it’s costing me probably on par with a nursery!) I would always pick a childminder over a nursery whilst they are little. She did transition to her school
nursery at 3 and a half ready for reception. Worked so well so hoping to do the same for these pair.

go and visit, let them do some settling in times. I went for a lm hour or so with my twins and eldest before leaving them.

good luck!

Oh bless you. I’m a childminder and also completely understand your worries. My youngest is 1 and I just can’t imagine sending her somewhere else.

On the flip side though, I know how wonderful my setting is, and how quickly children settle. I also know how quickly their parents worries are qualmed when they pick up their happy, settled child and receive a multitude of pictures from me each day with all the adventures we’ve been on.

Some things that might help put things into perspective/ ease your worries:

There isn’t any set qualification any person needs in order to become a nursery worker. Lots have done a btec or some sort of course in childcare, but lots haven’t. They’re unlikely to have had their knowledge tested beyond passing an interview, and usually the person spending the most time with your child at nursery is the least experienced member of staff in the building. Generally the more experienced, the more time they spend in the office and away from the children.

By contrast, a childminder is inspected on a personal level and has their knowledge of the EYFS inspected before ever being able to open their doors to children. They also have to have done a minimum of a level 3 qualification, but also have to evidence their continuous professional development. Most are very highly qualified individuals, and also are parents themselves.

I also think a big thing that often worries parents is the aspect of a childminder being in their own home and working alone. Most childminders also work with a large age range of children (which is a huge asset to the setting- mixed age settings are seen to be incredibly beneficial in a multitude of studies). I personally would feel a lot more confident knowing my young baby is in a setting with older children who can and do whistleblow, than in a room with other babies none of which can talk. Our biggest worries about not being with our babies I think is that they can’t tell us if they don’t like it, or if something is wrong. I can assure you the other children can and do… my own daughters love to rush to tell parents how their children’s day has been 😄

A childminder is a very gentle transition into childcare, and much more like leaving your child with a very capable grandparent or auntie than a nursery. I am so proud of my profession