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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

paranoid parent or normal? and sleep problems at cm...

11 replies

JimJammum · 28/01/2008 21:01

My ds (age 1) has gone off to cm 2 days a week. He did some settling in days which went fine.
He cries when I leave him, but soon settles apparantly. I just want to know....is it ok to call in the day (once - I'm not that bad) and find out if he's ok? Will they think I'm paranoid, or is it normal behaviour??

Also, he doesn't sleep well there, only 1 hour per day, whereas at home he will have 2-2.5 hrs. It is having a massive knock-on effect the rest of the week, as he gets very overtired and sleeps less and less each night, getting more & more tired. How can I bring this up with cm? I need to understand in more depth what happens when he's put down, how noisy it is, if it's a dark room etc etc and then try and work to improve the problem, as I can't keep getting up at 5am and earlier with an overtired, wired baby.
All help valuable, thanks.

OP posts:

ROSEgarden · 28/01/2008 21:09

its perfectly reaonable to ring them..let her know you will(incase its at a time when shes settling you/another mindee)..personally, Ii text my parents each day, often with a picture message fromt heir child..not unreasonable to ask for this i wouldnt think, but maybe i do go one step further???

vInTaGeVioLeT · 28/01/2008 21:11

as a childminder i'd perfectly happy if parent rang me once a day intil they felt happy to stop doing so but i'd prefer it if they rang at a time that was calm and quiet - nap-time!!!

and yes i think you need to have a chat about the sleep issue ASAP

ROSEgarden · 28/01/2008 21:13

sorry didnt read all...re the sleep..does she have lots of school runs to do?, maybe your ds doesnt sleep well out and about?, again it could all just be unheavel for him and will soon settle down..i have a little girl mindee who was similar but after only 2 weeks was settled(only 2 days per week too!)

Def speak to her and ask about her day and why she may think ds doesnt sleep?, is he in playarea with others?, does he like room dark normally?..try and come up with a few solutions to possible answers so you can work through it together.TBH, i have to go with the flow of my 2yr old mindee, you just cant make them sleep or stay awake, a lot of the time its cos theres so much new fun stuff going on they dont want to sleep?

twinklytoes · 28/01/2008 21:16

of course phone or text. i always do when its been a tearful drop off

my dds have never slept for more than an hour with the cm. my cms (we've had 2) routines did't really allow for sleep for that long when there's a 9am school run, 1230pm nursery run and then the 3pm school run. plus a morning activity which usually runs 10-12 somewhere away from home.

dd1 would fall asleep in the buggy on a school run. dd2 curls up in lounge after lunch, sleeps enroute in car etc. at one dd2 would be put to sleep in the buggy a 1pm and wake up after two hours at school, but that didn't last as she got too big for the provided buggy.

but do talk to cm.

Other thing i found is that i have to be terribly organise when we pick up so that we can stay to our evening routine. dinners are already pre-made and in oven. bath remains at 6, stories at 6.30, lights out, peace by 7.

Original poster

JimJammum · 28/01/2008 21:27

Thanks for all feedback re phoning.

CM doesn't do any school runs. It's like a mini nursery with up to 10 children (all preschool age) and 4-5 cm's together.They have cots upstairs in bedrooms, so he is put down in a room, and I provide dummy and favourite toy to help. They say they put him down in the am but he doesn't go off to sleep, which is fine, but then I don't understand why he doesn't sleep for longer after lunch. Maybe it is the darkness/noise, as his room at home has blackouts, and (as he's my first) the house is usually silent during the day when he's asleep (I usually am too! )
When he gets home at half 5 we have tea, bath, bed rountine at exactly same times as normal.

OP posts:

london11 · 28/01/2008 21:53

I am a childminder and I have no problem with my parents phoning/texting during the day. I always explain that if I don't pick up or text back straight away, it's just that we are busy and I get back to them whenever I can

On the sleep front, definatly speak to them. They should be interested in helping to try and solve the problem as it is affecting your LO's well being. I always get as much info from parents as possible re sleep routines and follow them as much as I can. One mindee has a soft toy from home and her own sleeping bag as that is what she is used to. On the occasions she doesn't sleep the 2 hours we would like mum asks me to put her down again for a nap later. We discuss her sleep/routine everyday and make adjustments as necessery.

london11 · 28/01/2008 21:54

Maybe you could potter around upstairs at home or leave radio on low up there to try and get your son used to some noise while he is asleep?

pinkandsparkly · 28/01/2008 23:36

How long has ds been going to cm jimjammum? I often had this sleep problem in my baby room when a new baby started and was used to near silence to sleep in. I found that it usually only took a few weeks for them to get used to sleeping in a noisier environment (I mean background noise, not shrieking kids and loud toys!)

You might find also that ds sleeps less because he doesn't want to miss out on what's going on downstairs!

london11's idea is good, something you could definately try.

Talk to your cm, she will probably have had this problem before.

ROSEgarden · 29/01/2008 09:34

how long has he been going Jimjam? it may be that he neds a couple of weeks to settle into a different routine?..if your ds is used to a room being very dark, it may be that he just 'cant' sleep when its lighter..TBH if theyre a kind of mini nursery and have rooms upstairs for children to sleep im surprised they dont already have black out curtains/blinds????..im sure your ds isnt the only one who needs darkness..speak to her/them and maybe suggest the blackout blind, even say yuou'll go halves so you ds can benefit when he's there?? got to be worth a try?

Original poster

JimJammum · 29/01/2008 19:10

He's only been going since 1st week of January, so actually not that long....but sure feels like it when you're getting 1.5hrs less sleep per night per day!!!!!

Maybe he will just take time to settle, and is a very nosy, curious little being so I have no doubt that some it has to be that he wants to be downstairs and with all the excitment. But don't most children have naps after lunch, ie/should be quieter then?

OP posts:

ROSEgarden · 29/01/2008 20:08

same time as my mindee...if we are in house at nap time(normally on school run) mindee is either upstairs or in living room with curtains drawn and in travel cot..i ensure all other mindees are doing a 'quiet' activity..maybe reading/drawing or perhaps a dvd...een the 20 month old now says "Shhh, xxx sleeping"...def speak to them, see what they suggest and its worth offering to split cost of black out blind!

with an older one of my mindee babies(the 20 month old) she sleeps better when we're out and about, my pushchair goes almost flat and she'll have anyhing up to 2 hours in it!...maybe ask about walks at nap time???

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