Help needed after C-Section - what do I do?

[NoseyHelen]

I may have to have a C-Section. With a 2 year old already, a husband who works long hours and no local family I fear that once my husband has finished his paternity leave that I'll be really stuck, not being able to lift etc for 4 weeks.

What sort of help can I get for such a short period? I don't even know what name to give to such help. Also, I'm not sure what it would cost (I live in Croydon (South London/ North Surrey)).

Any ideas?

Not sure to be honest but i think there is some help available - have a word with your midwife or health visitor.

would your dh be able to have paternity leave?

Hi

I am a nanny who could help out on a Monday and/or Friday. I also live in Croydon

Please email me on [email protected] if interested

Maybe advertise for a p/t nanny or mothers help? I am by no means an expert on such things, but even heard of a "maternity nurse" which I think is just mothers help. But maybe just someone to come in and help out for a few hours a day - light cleaning and to take your 2 yo out?

I wasn't expecting such quick responses!

My husband should get paternity leave or he'll take 2 weeks unpaid but just worried what will happen for the few weeks after that. I''m not sure what to expect from the scar etc since it will be my second C-Section.

Anyoneout there - I'll contact you.

post natal doula?

maternity nanny?

shame I'm not closer otherwise I would have offered to heolp but I am just north of London and it would be too far to travel for just a few hours.

You will probably be looking at £10 - £15 gross per hour

Mothr help I would have though. You'll find that there are a lot of experince students out there who would be willing to do it as part of their course as well.

I am currently enjoying having a post natal doula who is FAB. I didn't have a c-section fortunately but have 2-week old twins and a 23-month old DS, and DH is self employed so can't take much time off as he doesn't get paid. She comes a few hours a day, four days a week and can be flexible (some can be more flexible than others depending on their own circumstances obviously).

They are cheaper than maternity nurses and also, from what I have heard (sorry to generalise) more helpful round the house as well as with the babies etc.

Someone like Marslady, who is a birth doula herself, and who helped me get in touch with my doula, may be able to recommend someone in your area. If you search under her name you will find her email address (sorry Mars for offering your services without consulting you!).

Maternity nurses/nannies are usually either v qualified or v experienced and can be expensive. You could put a lot of backs up describing them as mother's helps!

Maternity nurses/nannies won't do household chores - they will do anything related to the baby, and maybe some cooking for you, but won't take charge of older siblings or do cleaning. Post-natal doulas and mother's helps will.

Students are quite a good option for getting help! They're also available at strange times of day....

If you are thinking of an extra pair of hands to help you do some lifting and not a sole charge role you could spend a LOT less money by getting a local student rather than a qualified nanny.

I had DS by section when DD was 26 months old. DH took two weeks off, and then it was just me and the two little ones. I was fine. I stayed in the house for about a week like a good obedient patient. It drove me crazy with boredon, so I went out in the car at 3 weeks and I was fine.

How was your recovery last time?

The thing I think I found a bit difficult was bath time. Lifting the 3 year old in and out of the tub was a bit painful.

So, maybe you could get someone to come round late afternoon/evening to help with bath and any other lifting that needs doing, a general tidy round the house, maybe run the hoover. And I think that would help hugely (and cost a lot less than ananny who won't do some of those things).

CORRECTION

Lifting the 2 year old in and out of the tub was a bit painful.

noseyhelen,

take a take at www.doula.org.uk - and find a doula - you can type in your postcode. Trainess are certainly cheaper than recognised. Call a few and tlak to them.

Hope all goes well.

Cx

Little Masters and Misses (8650 3232) can provide a temp part-time nanny for £8p/h gross during the week plus agency fee(they have a couple of nannies who only do short-term). I had one from preschool pick-up until 6:00 for 3 days a week which gave me a rest. I also used a doula but they were more expensive. In theory a doula will help out a lot more around the house, but in practice the nanny was more than happy to deal with dishwasher and family laundry for me.

I don't think I want a nanny as such. I just want a home help/ mothers help. The main point of the exercise would be for her to lift up my 2 year old e.g. into her high chair. I'm not worried about house work. My husband will do that and won't think I'm a slut for not doing it myself!

I've contacted my 5 nearest doulas but have has a resounding silence.

I did recover very well last time but my midwife (for what it's worth ) said this would not be the case the second time around. I don't know what to expect but feel I have to have a plan in case I am in pain.

Only read the very last post from you so sorry if this isn't relevant, just noticed that you said the main point was to lift into a high chair. I'm a childminder and have mindees sitting at a little table for meals from about 18 months old. Would this be a good time to get her out of the highchair? I have one of those plastic Early Learning Centre tables and chairs but you can get nice little wooden ones etc. Just a thought Hope your midwife is wrong and it's a quicker recovery than she's suggesting!

Why did your midwife say this recovery will not be the same. Sound like anti-section propoganda to me, unless of course you have some known medical complication this time that you didn't have last time that is know to cause a longer recover time in planned sections....

FWIW, my second section was a much easier recovery. I don't know if that due to mass consumtion of arnica or I was more prepared because it was planned and the first one was a 3AM crash job.

I would plan on the basis that your recovery will be similar to the last one. (unless there's a complication I don't know about)

When is the section? Any chance you can seize a student on summer break to come help you out? Even an au pair for 4 weeks would be a big help.

Looneytune: Great idea on the little table and chairs. I hadn't thought of that. I've just had a quick look and there are plenty out there - I just hope she'll sit still.

Eleusis: thanks for the arnica tip - I didn't use it last time but perhaps it would be good to be stocked up on it. I assume it's compatible with breastfeeding.

By the time my husband is back at work I think the September term will have started. When people say 'students' what do they mean? Students of what? And how do I find one?

I think my problem is that I don't know how to go about finding help - how to advertise etc.

After my 4th C-section (November) I had a cleaner for the first two months to avoid all the hoovering stuff. Also, look for homehelp people in the Yellow pages - usually for old people or those after an operation. I'm guessing you don't want someone to come round and 'do the baby' for you, but to do washing, lifting, get the paper etc.

NH, I would put an ad on gumtree.com about 2 weeks before the section and ask them to start when DH goes back to work. Then, you can go through some e-mail resopnses while you sit in your hospital bed bored to death for two days.

Yep, arnica is fine with breastfeeding.

Uni students or childcare students assuming they're not on placement.

I'm a uni student and a nanny, and I do that kind of thing but you're nowhere near me