Back to work after baby - how would you do it?

[LuckyEarthDragon]

Hi everyone, looking for some mumsnet wisdom :)

Currently pregnant with first baby. Starting to think about how I’ll return to work after mat leave. I’ll need to go back full time.

Please give me all your opinions on what you would do in my shoes! Situation as follows:

• Currently contracted to 37 hours a week.
• Need to be in office 1-2 days a week.
• Office has ofsted rated outstanding nursery which is also subsidised.
• Long commute into work from outside London into central London - 1.5 hours each way by train/tube. Once in London I can walk through the park to work but that takes commute up to 2 hours. Could I bike it with one of those trolley chariot things for the baby to save tube stress? Train in/out London not too horrendous - I always get a seat.
• No childminder or nursery for under twos in local village. Nearest option a short drive or 30 min walk away.
• Only one car which partner uses for work.
• Office v open to flexi hours (10-3.30 core) and 10 days in 9.
• Husband’s office a bit unknown - small, not many people with kids, his manager doesn’t have any. Not sure how it would be received if he tried 10 days in 9 / similar but could ask.

Currently I’m thinking I ask to work 10 days in 9 so I have every other Friday off, see if husband can do the same so he does the alternate Friday. Then 2 days in office 9-5 with baby at the subsidised nursery and the remaining 2 with a local childminder at the nearest village? But not sure what the average childminding cost is and will be painful to fork out ££££ when the subsidised nursery is so great (but so far away!).

All feedback welcomed :)

Nannies can work out cheaper if you have two in full time childcare. So if you have two dc under three, and childcare is 60 per day, per dc, that's about 25k for a four day week, year round.

If Nanny rates are similar, wouldn't you pay that instead and not have to do drop/collect/kids meals/kids laundry etc?

Madness to even consider taking DC on your commute.
What about nursery near/ en route to DHs work on the two days you're in office? Or even for all 4 days you're considering getting childcare? 2 different childcare settings is a lot for baby to settle into when you go back to work imo.

It’s not the commute to get to them that is the issue-my commute is an hour in office days. But I don’t want to do that hour with an ill child in tow.

One of us is usually WFH most days, so in reality we are usually there in half an hour. But I wouldn’t want to be transporting an ill child by lengthy tube and train.

Rutland, Zochan and namechange thank you, I’d thought it was £100k total for household so that’s a v useful clarification

The nursery at work is an amazing deal but there’s no way I’d do a four hour round trip commute with a toddler regularly. It’s a massive chunk of the day for a child that age to sit still and once they are into the tantrum stage it sounds like hell, particularly if the trains are busy.

I also think that a routine at each nursery/childminder, one with mum, one with dad and a weekend one with both parents is likely to be quite unsettling for such a young child. Obviously needs must and it’s the kind of thing that sometimes needs to happen but if it were me (and budget permitted) I’d put DC into just one childcare setting at home and leave it at that.

LikeCheesecake thank you for your tips! School wraparound looks v promising from the Google I just did (7.30am start and 6pm finish which hopefully between dh and I we will be able to stagger / manage when the time comes since it’s close to home).

Not so sure about dinner provided at nursery and that’s a good point so will check. Although appreciate general consensus is in favour of childcare close to home rather than office.

Another advantage of childcare close to home (apart from the obvious convenience all round and short journey time for the child) is that you will sometimes have time off work while the child is in childcare, and for that it would definitely be a massive pain to take them all the way to a workplace nursery!

(And before anyone flames me for putting my child in childcare while I'm not even working... it's only the very occasional day of annual leave and I use the time to get shit done, or when I'm too ill to work but baby is fine so I take a sick day and send baby to nursery. You pay for the childcare whether you use it or not so you might as well use it.)

I understand why you’d be gutted not to use such cheap and good childcare but I would honestly let it go for the sake of it being completely impractical.

A baby is one thing but a toddler would be a veritable nightmare. I’m picturing tantrums because you brought the wrong coloured water bottle or they didn’t get their favourite seat, you’re potty training and they have an accident all over you and the 3 people packed in like sardines around you, they’ve had an overwhelmingly busy day and as soon as they see you they let out every emotion they’ve felt all day on a packed train home.

I recently found out my neighbour’s nanny is only a bit more expensive than nursery - with none of the stress and rush of drop offs. It will cost more than the subsidised nursery but your sanity will thank you a lot for it!

Your DH also needs to be part of the childcare solution... as soon as you start taking more than 50% responsibility for drop off and pick up, you and your career will suffer.. yours has already taken a hit by being female, by being in a relationship that might result in children and finally by having had a child.... don't make it worse by being the only person in the relationship who drops one day a fortnight, who limits their work hours by doing 100% of drop off and pick ups and is responsible for days when your child ill.

Not family income, it’s based on individual income. As long as each income is under £100k then it’s fine.

Where in Berkshire are you....its often worth looking along your commute for example in North Hillingdon fees are in excess of £8 in South its £4 to £5. You may find similar differences bear you

I was going to say what @NameChange30 said. Not just if you have the day off work - if you're ill you'd either have to look after your DC at home, or travel 1.5 hours to childcare.

Just to add, if you go with a nanny who isn't ofsted registered you can't use the tax free childcare scheme. So whilst it may seem cheaper you'll need to take that into account.

I agree with all the comments above 100% childminder! Little ones are so emotional and tired when the finish nursery it would be hellish 😢Could you look for one in the direction your husband travels to work so he could do drop offs? That would at least solve the one car problem 😊