DS crying at drop off after 5 months

[notsureconfused]

My DS (20 months old) has been going to his CM for 5 months now (3 X per week) and each morning he cries and cries at drop off ☹️ I've not got any worries about the childminder & he is absolutely fine at getting ready to go, getting in the car etc but as soon as I pass him over, that's it. He's fine within a couple of mins as she's sent photos on lots of occasions when I've barely left her road and he's smiling and settled. I get updates throughout the day where he looks happy and he's cheerful when I collect him. So why is he still crying after this length of time? Is this normal? Just to add, he sometimes cries when my parents take him out and he absolutely adores them. They always say it only lasts for a minute and then he's fine.

I think that some people (even kids) are very bad at "goodbyes". The act of being separated from their mum is very hard. As long as he bounces back quickly I don't think you need to be concerned. It must be hard on you though.

I used to throw up when my mother left me in early school days I was 5 and she merrily skipped away because I was fine after she’s gone. It kept happening then she hit me to make me stop - didn’t work because that day I threw up over some blocks (lovely memory) and she had to come and get me as I had whipping cough

My husband used to do this at the same age, he´d throw up over himself at the nursery gate. My MIL wisened up and would take an extra set of clothes, walk into a ladies in a bar and change him. And back to nursery it was. He stopped after a while. Decided to stop wasting his breakfast.

Dd never gave a backward glance, DS was clingy until year 4, even now at 12 wants a cuddle before i leave for work. He was always fine if dh was dropping off though. Some kids just find that transition difficult I think.

At 20 months your baby has reached a stage of development when they realise that you are doing something else when you are not there where they can see you. It's quite normal and part of a slow realisation that the world goes on elsewhere when they are not there.

As long as you are happy with the nursery and they stop crying quickly after you have left don't worry about it. As they start to talk you can begin to chat about what has happened at nursery, where you have been etc.

Just to update... a few weeks after posting he finally stopped crying! He now happily goes in without a backwards glance. It's such a relief!

That's fantastic @notsureconfused - both of mine put me through a similar wringer. Howling at drop off and then absolutely fine within 5 minutes. Nursery were great with them and both eventually came through the other side and now trot into nursery or school perfectly happily. It's the saying goodbye and actually leaving them that they struggled with. Just normal for some children I think, but really miserable for you and them.

So glad that your little one is finding things easier now.

He just finds the transition hard. I wouldn't worry about it too much, he's only little. When he can express himself better it'll probably stop.