Hiring a nanny for the first time

[mmmumof2]

Hi All,

Looking for some expert tips/advice please!

We're thinking about hiring a part time nanny when I go back to work after mat leave. We have 2 kids - who will be 2.5 and 10 months - and our work hours mean we can't make the nursery drop off/pick ups.

I was wondering if anyone could recommend things to think about/discuss when interviewing potential candidates? E.g. tidying up after the kids, expectations surrounding petty cash for activities, how to deal with car seats etc?

When it comes to the contract - how specific should this be - e.g. should expectations regarding tidying up after the kids be in the contract? I've heard that normally holiday is divided so we choose the dates for 2 weeks and they choose the dates for 2 weeks - is that standard? Any advice on where to read up on these things?

I'd like to be a good employer - and think you need to be transparent and thorough for that - but don't really know anyone with a nanny and haven't had one ourselves, so any advice much appreciated!!

Thank you :)

use a company such as nannytax. They have contracts you can use and adapt.

What area are you in?

Also I link legal annual leave is 5.6 weeks or 28days. It’s up to you if that includes bank holiday or your add them as extra.

Thanks @mummy203 - we're in South Yorkshire so nannies not that common in our experience. Just don't want to neglect a whole important area to discuss etc and end up with unhappiness on either side down the line!

You have to set them up with a Nest pension.
I also used Nannytax, they’re great.

Make sure the nanny is contracted to deal with all the children’s needs, eg their bedding, laundry, buying things they need, tidying their things up (including cooking their meals).

What I found with having a nanny is that is really is the most expensive way you can do childcare, as you’re paying so much over the odds in insurance, tax and pension for them on top of the work they’re actually doing. Even on a huge salary, it’s galling to see how much it costs month on month. Still, it’ll prepare you well for paying private school fees 😅

@Glitterspy Its literally going to be most of my part time salary - but my husband is working away during the week, and I work long/irregular hrs. The alternative is wrap around care or childminders. The former would be ok if we could find someone suitable but have been struggling. Childminders might work but it would make the day really long for my kids (out the door by 6.15 and back around 7/7.30pm)/piles a lot of stress on me if I'm late home.

Have you found having a nanny gives you that added piece of mind/reduces the stress of getting in/home on time?

I am the single mother of an 11 month old, working full time (inc nights and weekends).
I found a nanny via childcare.co.Uk. agencies panicked at shift work and were useless. I use nanny tax.
The nanny stays Tues night to Fri night and arrives 0630 (I leave at 0645), staying until I arrive home about 7pm Wed to Fri. I work from home Mon so she does more usual hours.
She works my resident Mon nights and my family cover weekends and sons of the other nights.
just to let you know it can be done!

@khaa2091 oh man you sound like a total hero! An inspiration - thank you for posting 🙏

If you possibly can afford it then go for it. Friends returning to work have found their child sent home from nursery for significant chunks.
I don’t worry about my daughter in the morning - she has a bottle, we read a story and I hand her over in pyjamas to have proper breakfast. The nanny gives her (often not always) home cooked meals for lunch and supper and does her washing (sheets and towels as well). This is not specified in the standard nanny tax contract but we discussed it before she accepted the job. We have agreed 28 days leave inc bank holidays, about half decided by me. I have booked most of these for the next year, holding about 5 days in reserve.
It sounds as though you are effectively a single parent for chunks of time - a nanny will make this easier.

Have you found having a nanny gives you that added piece of mind/reduces the stress of getting in/home on time?

If there's a risk you'll be late home then you'll need to schedule your Nanny to work the longest hours you might require. You can't just come home late and expect the nanny to work beyond her contracted hours whenever you like. So if you'd normally be home by 6:30 but sometimes it might be 7 the nanny needs to be contracted and paid to work until 7 every day

@satelliteheart FYI - I'm planning on having an agreement in which, if I am home late (which may occasionally happen due to the nature of my work), they will be paid overtime. I'm not just going to be late. This will be clearly discussed from the outset.

Thanks @khaa2091 - pretty nervous about leaving them/dealing with the stress of being back at work again

For this sort of situation it would be worth getting some back up care sorted out, maybe a local teenager or student who can come at short notice.
I've had a job working for doctors where I was supposed to finish at 6.30pm, mum would call at 6.45 to say she was stuck in theatre and wouldn't be home till 8.30 at the earliest. I understood that it couldn't be helped and I did get paid overtime but it meant that I couldn't really plan anything for evenings. When it had happened once too many times and I'd had to cancel plans and let people down with no notice yet again it did start to lead to bad feelings and eventually I left the job because of it. Respecting the nanny's right to a life outside of work and having someone who can pop in and watch the kids for a couple of hours would be a very good idea.

Yes I agree with @NannyR that's not a sustainable plan. Your nanny is a human being and will have a life outside of caring for your children. It's not appropriate to expect her to never make plans in the evenings. She may well have her own family to get home to. I think you'll struggle to find a nanny who is happy to work late whenever you have to work late. You need a back up in place. Also you need to be very realistic about the frequency of these late returns.

I have had plenty of experience with nannies. I would say that you need to think beyond the basic child care necessities. For example, can they cook nutritious meals, are they generally tidy and organised, are they a good driver, etc. For me these things made the difference between a good nanny and a great nanny. Almost all of them were great with the children, it was the other skills that were often lacking and in one case in particular their cooking skills were so bad that I am amazed my children survived!

I agree about set times. I had one nanny that went to a yoga class every week. My DH was late home due to traffic one night (I was working away) and when he got home an hour late he discovered she had left the child alone in the house (asleep in its cot) to go to her class.

Most nannies will be fine with the odd late finish if they have notice - as in, "I've got a meeting next Thursday that will finish at 7pm - can you cover?" or with ten minutes here or there due to traffic delays, it's the frequent, very short notice lates that are unfair.

WTF did you fire her? That’s shocking.

To answer your question OP yes absolutely, we adored our nanny and I felt much better about leaving them with her, than I did with childminders or nursery, all of which we tried initially. In that sense it’s very much worth the money.

I had a full on job and what really helped as well was that she would sort them out with things as and when needed and bill back to us as expenses, E.g clothes, food (she would meal plan and put everything she needed in an online grocery basket, I’d then add my bits and pay, it worked like a dream!) bedding etc.

She was responsible for all their laundry (incl bedding, keeping their rooms and cupboards/drawers ordered, everything “householdy” that was to do with the kids.

An extra bonus was that she often cooked enough for their tea that DH and I got an evening meal, oh and she baked once a week. Can you tell I miss her!?

Regarding evenings, I’d often ask her to stay late at short notice or “book” a late with her in advance. To save complicating the books, we did this on a cash in hand basis for her net rate per hour.

@mummy203 Yes absolutely, instant dismissal!