C M 's.Do your DH's appreciate that you are doing a job?

[mum2oliver]

Does your Dh or Dp's recognise that you have been working all day too and that your job doesnt really end?

Now there is a loaded question Um, yes my dh does to an extent but like any relationship there can be the "I work harder than you do" issue. He's very good however, at not nagging me about stuff when he comes home (ie been home all day why isn't this done blah blah) - but then he respects his own life. I think he's more respectful of the part that my job never ends, that I have our own children to take care of at the end of the day.

Why, what's up?

Don't ask!!!

Yes and no. DP was home the other day while I was working ans sid 'is it always like this'. Erm yes it is, did you think they all sat quietly while I had a nice relaxing cuppa?! e appreciates how much hard work kids can be (he has 3), but don't think he 'gets' how busy and stressful cm'ing can be.

Yep DH even admits I work harfer than him, (apart from when he is actually working spends alot of time travelling)

BUT, he is brill and as he can finish anytime up to a hour before me, he clears the kids cups plates and anything else that needs to go in the dishwasher, up.

Then he cooks dinner ready for me and last mindee who had dinner with us, AND cooks enough for the SAHmindees for dinner the next day.

But unfortunatly he is away alot, then i have to do it

Really its not good enough

I am pretty lucky I suppose! DH does accept that childminding can be hard work and if he calls me during the day he can hear the amount of bedlem going on! And if he comes home at lunch then he can see what a manic rush it is getting lunch and out to preschool etc!
He still thinks he works harder than we though

My dh tells people that I own and run my own business, thinks I am totally loopy for wanting to do it, but is very supportive.

However, he hates that I get so stressed with all the unpaid hours I do with paperwork, bills, accounts etc., the evenings/weekends I have to give up for training courses, and he worries that I will go stir-crazy because I am living and working in the same place. He also puts up with the house being totally taken over by my job - toys, equipment, paperwork.

If he's here, he is the Chief-Putting-Away-Of-Toys-Person. My minded children idolise him (and will usually choose his lap for a cuddle rather than mine).

I've met many childminders who do not have supportive partners, and I think it is a real nightmare and very difficult without that support or understanding.

dh knows i work hard (i do more hrs than him and get more money) but he hates the mess:
saftey gates
outdoor toys
under the stairs loaded
prams
broken bits
poo on the toilet seat
wee on the floor

but he does cook the dinner

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

DH doesn't like the mess, all the toys in the lounge, the noise they make if he's home, all the extra saftey things, Ofsted comming in and saying this and that needs doing, shall I go on!!

But he likes that my earnings help towards the mortgage and bills. I cannot win, also he thinks that I sit in front of the tv or computer all day drinking coffee .
Will stop now or I will be writing an essay.

Forgot to say that I was doing this great job before I met him so he can stick it, I will give up when I have had enough.

my dp is well aware of what the job involves and how tiring it is as he works shifts so can be home while the mindees are here - he is very good and if he's not worked that day he normally does tea and he does a fair bit of tidying up as he has a very low mess thresh-hold also i don't drive so i have to walk everywhere so he will keep ds with him so don't have to take double buggy on school-run which is bliss!!!!

mother in law on the other hand thinks its shocking how much he does - it makes me want to shake her!!! he does approx. 40hrs i do approx. 32hrs plus look after my own kids 24/7 . . . .grrrrrrrrrr

My H had NO appreciation that childminding was work, would come home during the day and complain that kids were here, that he couldn't flake on sofa and watch tv, god forbid if I had CM friends over he'd moan and slam doors in front of them. Assumed I should get all housework, chores, everything done during the day, then tell me I was rubbish at my job if he caught me doing any of that and would say I was neglecting the children.

We've now been seperated six months.

Lunavix good for you!!!
Shoshe,what does you dh do for a living?
I am interested to see how it is for others.
Its really hard work.I earn which means I contribute but my dh makes little comments every now and then about the wasking,cleaning etc and it really does get to me.I suppose I should ignore it but he never makes me feel like I am actually working.
Its difficult as CM's never have an end of the day do they!!
We dont get to clock out at a certain time and go somewhere else.
My dh works all over the country so does a lot of travelling.He gets up around 4-6am every day and gets home 11-12 hours later.I agree that his day must be tiring but its not made any better by having a poor diet and going to bed late!!
Im not sure I want to conitnue it but have to til my dc are at school as wouldnt ern enough to pay out childcare costs and dont want to put them with someone else.
Is anyone else in same position?

mum2oliver DH is in the Army.

mum2oliver - my dh isn't out until 8am but then not home until last train so it's ME with our children, and third one on it's way. To be honest I am thankful for the childminding so that our children have a least one parent home consistently. He is home on the weekends but he is doing all the catch up DIY, dog walking etc etc. Still, it works somehow for us, and we are happy.

Apart from the squabble we had at 3am due me waking him due to HIS snoring. lol

Luna - am sorry you are dealing with that, what a nightmare that must have been for you. Much admiration.

My dh isn't very supportive of cming, he doesn't undertstand that I don't do housework when mindees are here, moans at the amount of paperwork and files full of policies etc. I've told him to tell OFSTED when they do an inspection!

I have applied for another job as a nursery nurse, but deep down I'm not sure whether I want to leave my 5 yr old at a childminders (which I cannot really afford), I really want to spend time with him as he is my last child. I cannot on the other hand keep paying out for insurance etc on £40pw from 1 b4 and after school child, I have had parents letting me down at last minute and am fed up of it so perhaps it is time I went for another job.

OFSTED have really spoilt our job, bringing rules and regulations, making us do policies, observations and assessments but what for? Some parents don't really appreciate anything either, we do lots with the children and they just pass it off with 'whats that for?'