What is your relationship like with your childminder?

[ELM]

My DS goes to a childminder for a substantial portion of the week. I am starting to feel like the childminder is making the decisions about his development and not me! We don't have regular meetings, although we chat at pick up time, but I feel that I am being informed of things after they happen, rather than being conusulted beforehand.
We have been sent home with things to work on.
It's not that I don't agree with a lot of the things that she does, but I feel that this should be a partnership, with me as the parent having the final say in what he is being taught and at what age..
I am very happy with her otherwise, and I know she provides a good environment for DS, and she is a lovely person.

Has anyone got any suggestions from a chilminder or a parents perespective?

Hi ELM I'm a cm, and it sounds like yours loves her job and is trying to do her best by your ds. However she should be making proper time to discuss his progress and development with you, as you are the most important person in his life. I would feel the same as you in your shoes. it would be much better if she was talking to your first about things she wants to try, work on etc.
I'm sure she will be pleased to hear you say you would like some time set aside to discuss his development. A cm and a parent should always set aside certain times to discuss these things, any problems or worries, contract issues etc.

I can sympathise ELM, and from both sides. My DS went to a CM when I went out to work full time and I did feel like I was missing out on a lot and that she was taching my DS a lot without consulting me first, which I supopse was what made me feel like I was missing out. What she was doing was brilliant and she was a brilliant CM, don't get me wrong, but there was no consulting on this.

Now I am a CM and I make sure that I set aside time to talk to the parents about any concerns they have or I have and just in general about their child and what they are doing etc. I always ask the parents if they are teaching anything new or if their child is learning anything new etc so that I can follow it on at mine, but it's always on the parents terms. There is always chance for the parent and for me to put our opinion across about the child's development if we think it's needed.

I would suggest you have a chat with your CM. I'm sure she would understand. Afterall, she is supposed to be working with you when it comes to your DS.

Yeas I agree you need to say something about this.She probably doesnt know how you feel.Just say that you are findig it hard that its someone else doing things that you want or feel you should be doing.She will be fine.

How olds is your DS? Mine only started going to a CM when he started school, so not quite the same thing really.

I agree, I think you are very lucky to have such an involved childminder but although she is so enthusiastic you definitely should be involved. No doubt she has no idea how you feel about this, and will take what you'd like on board.

Thanks everyone. Am going to have a meeting with her tomorrow evening. will let you know how it goes!