Keeping nanny on while on mat leave -how was it for you?

[LadyG]

We have just moved house and therefore found a new nanny who seems lovely (started in October) for my 2 and a half yr old DS. He also goes to Montessori 3 mornings a week. I hope to take 6 months mat leave (6 weeks full pay 13 weeks half pay then stat mat leave).
Now obviously it would be in DS's interest to have the same nanny as I will have to go back to work. The problem is that 1) this will be cripplingly expensive although just about manageable by dipping into savings 2) will it not just drive me insane having someone hanging about the house all day? i rmember DS 1 was never off the boob so could not really leave him with anyone for about 10 weeks even for an hour or two and even the cleaner coming, welcome as she was, really annoyed me as she always seemed to start hoovering just as Ds was having a nap and I wanted to lie down for 20 minutes myself.
i don't really feel I have a choice but to keep her on but how did you all cope with having a nanny while at home yourself?? Or am I just being an ungrateful so and so ??

Anyone???

If you can afford it I'd definitely keep her on. She wil be a help with you ds when the newborn is here.

You may find yourself not needing her on the mornings ds is at nursery but she can do drop off and pick up for you.

It may rankle a bit paying her when she isn't doing everything but if you are planning to go back to work it is definitely worth keeping her - 6 months is not very long and you will need to start looking for another nanny after about 3 months anyway.

The fact is those long babymoon type days of baby 1 are not really very possible with a toddler so having the nanny may be a godsend rather than a bother (as it was with the cleaner with your first)

You could give her a couple of weeks off (paif of course!!) after the birth if you want some family time.

The other thing is that if after a couple of months it isn't working out or if you decide you aren't going back to work (stranger things have happened)you can give her notice then. I know you will have paid her for a couple of extra months but for me the plusses of keeping her would outweigh the minuses.

I always let mine go when on maternity leave(too expensive) but I think you will go mad if you have your nanny in the house all the time - if you are going to pay her to stay on, why not ask her to come in say half time to spend time with the older child (take him out on interesting outings etc) and then eventually with the new baby so you can have some quality time with each?

Sorry to kerp posting - but keep thinking of things.

The other thing is you are paying her to work to suit you, so if you don't want her there all day then tell her. She could come in the morning or later, whenever suits you.

She will probably be delighted to have 6 months of being paid but to have less hours to work.

I have a nanny 2 days a week as that is what I used to work before having dd2 who is now 9 weeks. DD1 is 2.9 and goes to nursery 2 mornings. It has been an absolute godsend. I have managed to get time alone with dd1, pressure off when dd2 needs feeding and the occasional chance to have a nap/ go to the physio/osteopath to try to sort myself out after the birth. The days my nanny comes everything seems manageable, the rest of the week I feel shattered and torn in different directions.

I know 2 days a week is different than full time but if you can afford it I say enjoy it!

It does help to give you time with your older child alone, and DS1 liked that. It's also really useful to have someone around the next day if you have a terrible night with the baby, but your toddler wakes up bright eyed and bushy tailed.

the time of day most people want help, when they have a baby, is tea time, and that's the time it's hardest to get a mother's help or some cheaper form of childcare. Keeping on a nanny obviously helps!

I had about 6 weeks overlap with my nanny before she went on maternity leave. From my perspective it was fine - I would say at the start of each day what my plans were for the day (ie how much childcare I was planning to do) and if there were playdates booked she would tell me, so I would know there would be no children on Tuesday morning, for example. I would generally be there at that teatime meltdown point, which I think helped. Nanny did comment that she had to do things properly when I was on maternity leave

I did this - I was going to need a nanny after my maternity leave, and I was keen for the continuity (plus as I always use an agency there didn't even seem any cost benefit in making nanny redundant/having 4 months on my own with toddler and newborn/paying agency fees and going through search as well as having the angst of settling in a new nanny).

It was absolutely great. She mainly concentrated on the toddler, who therefore never went throught the "lacking attention" bit. But she would also have the baby for spells as well, meaning I and the toddler could get out and do things together as well. I also managed to go to the gym a couple of times a week/get my hair cu occasionally etc - basically just small things that make you feel human.

It was great when she would come rushing in to my bedroom at 8am shouting "where's my baby" shower DD with kisses and run off with her and Ds to give them breakfast. Usually by 8am in the morning I would happily have left DD by the front gate with an honesty box suggesting that someone paid what they thought she was worth!

My nanny was a real talker and I knew more about every blinking micro-celebrity going than I strictly needed to (I could have "the state of Jennifer Aniston's marriage late 2003 - mid 2004 as my specialist subject on Mastermind). But, hey, it was a small price to pay. And I'm not sure I was up to heavy debate at that time.

I do think it's a really, really good idea to keep some childcare going - I didn't have a nanny, but DD1 went on going to her childminder three (as opposed to the usual four) days a week and I think it was fabulous for all of us.

Thank you all for your messages-I am now convinced!

I will have to have a careful chat about duties/timings etc-maybe even amend her contract?? And get used to having someone invading my space which I am not very good at. however at least we are moving to a house having always lived in flats so I can lurk upstairs. I think the thing that is slightly niggling is that I would have liked longer off work this time as this is almost certainly our last one-however 6 months is as much as we can budget for which I should be grateful for I guess.

Definitely amend her contract!

First for while you're on ML and then second for when you go back to work and what her new duties will be.

Re the cost - is there any chance of you doing a share, just for the period while you are on leave? I've been thinking about this for the dim and distant future and eyeing up my friends who are SAHMs to see if any of them could use a bit of baby-free time and so might be interested in using our nanny for a day per week or so.