URGENT ADVICE NEEDED

[darkknight95]

So I recently became a dad back in April and due to circumstances I won't go in to I will be a single parent soon.

I'm just trying to plan the logistics of this going forward and could use some advice. Right now I work full time from home but I'm thinking this will have to become part time at most. I don't have any family or friends that I can rely on so it's really just me and my child.

I'll also be moving house soon and I'm struggling with wrapping my head around what support is out there for me.

My job is decently paid and I'm worried about taking such a dip in finances.

Would I be able to work part time? Is there some kind of childcare scheme that I could benefit from?

Would I be better off quitting work and claiming universal credit?

I've tried googling things and using online calculators but there just seems to be a lot of varying answers out there. Based in Wales right now fyi, though not tied to being here, could move to England depending on what assistance is available.

Appreciate the help!

Surely you keep working full time and use childcare, like most families? If your income is low enough, you can get up to 80% of childcare paid for, plus you may be entitled to child benefit and UC.

Is this a full time arrangement? UC might be relevant for childcare costs if your income is low but you will have to arrange it, perhaps a childminder, nursery or nanny ?

The baby is less than 6 months old FFS, most babies would be with a primary carer at this stage.

@darkknight95 are you able to take parental leave from work?

As you know already, it depends.

If you want to stay in full time work, you will need paid childcare. Either in the form of a childminder, nursery or nanny. How much they cost depends on area and each provider. A good rough idea is £50-£70 per day. Work out how much this would cost you per month against your salary. Then decide of you want to go part time or just quit.

There is a tax free childcare scheme that gives a discount. Not used this so no idea how much the discount is. If you're a single parent, you may be eligible for Universal Credit towards childcare costs. This depends on salary and hours worked.

The best thing to do is try to speak to citizens advice about benefits etc.

I think you need to tap into whatever parental leave you can for as long as you can. If you are paid well then full time childcare when you go back to work and probably take advantage of tax free childcare whereby the government pay 20% of your bill.

www.dad.info/article/family/work/paternity-leave/paternity-leave-in-the-uk/

This looks like a good overview. And you could speak to ACAS for more detailed advice.

Congratulations on becoming a dad! Being a single parent will be a challenge but it's totally manageable with some planning.

What sort of help are you looking for - practical, emotional or financial? Your local GP will be able to put you in touch either health visiting teams who assist parents of young babies.

As to wether you should work or not - that's a personal decision about wether you want to be a SAHP or not.

My advice round be to not give up your job - look around at nurseries and childminders in the area and look at their fees. Find one which can care for your child while you work and which you can get to and from easily. There is funding for children once they get to 3 but you need to fund it in the early years. See if your company have a childcare vouchers scheme which can help with costs.

Apply for child benefit and contact CMS for maintenance from your child's mother (if appropriate).

Good luck!

I agree could you get any sort of leave to begin with if not then you would need to speak to citizen advice they have benefit help that can advise you based on your earnings what your entitlement will be

I think you’ll go nuts if you give up on your career and try to do this alone. I’m a mother and evolution programmed me for this job but I definitely needed my work for mental health both times I didn’t last very long at home before I decided to work again, the second time only a few months , and I suspect it’ll be tougher still for a Dad. I think you should look into childcare options. Baby is a bit small for a multi child setting I think, they’ll forever be Ill for a start and do need plenty of one to one. I think your best bet is a nanny , they will be able to care for little one in your home , you get lots of control over what they do , eat , the routine etc and if the lady / gent you employ is a good fit they become part of the family very quickly and it won’t feel odd having them around.
just my opinion but if you were my friend or brother that’s what I’d be advising you to do .

Have a chat to people at your workplace. Do you know anyone part time there? How flexible is the job for hours? Some places may let you work eg 75% across 5 days and have shorter days, which you could use alongside childcare to make the childcare days shorter. Or you could drop to 3-4 full days and have full days childcare but more time at home over proper days with your baby.

As well as your leave entitlement, you may be able to take unpaid parental leave (I have no idea if this is something available everywhere or with all employers) - www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement

Yes, you’ll find it’s a big hit to salary. But hang on in there - it’s very tough for a few years but you may be able to get support or benefits for childcare costs? And soon it will be before/after school costs.

Good luck and take care.

I wouldn’t quit your job quite yet. What I would do is:

1. speak to some local nurseries and find out how much a full time place would be. A childminder would be cheaper but you might be a bit stuck when they are on holiday etc.
2. do a benefits calculator to see what you’d be entitled to based on working full time plus childcare costs - use the entitled to website and also the separate hmrc tax free childcare calculator. The tax free childcare scheme is a bit of a faff but you can get up to £2k per year towards nursery or childminder fees.
3. look into whether you are entitled to maintenance from the non-resident parent.

You could run various scenarios such as working full time/working 3 days a week etc. I work full time and am on my own a lot as my OH works away. It’s hard but definitely doable - working from home with a nearby nursery definitely helps.

good luck!

Hi OP
As your baby is only five months old you may qualify for shared parental leave from work and the associated financial payments. I didn’t go down this route so not exactly sure of the entitlements but I advise you speak to your HR team. ACAS may also be able to advise you here.

Speak to your employer and see what leave you're entitled to to help you get set up in your new "normal".

You'll either be entitled to UC (income dependant) or tax free childcare (20% contribution towards your childcare bill.

Have a think about what you would like while your child is young - maybe it would be a possibility to go PT in the short term and back to full time when baby is a little older/you've settled into your new life. If not, many babies go to nursery full time and absolutely thrive - there is no normal in this area, just what works for you.

Make sure you've applied for your child benefit as that will help too.

The main issue we came across with UC/tax free childcare is finding out which.... Martin Lewis generally advises that if you're entitled to UC you'll generally be better off claiming that than tax free childcare but the only way to find out what you'll actually get is to actually apply. We've done all the online calculators and they've each come out with completely different figures so we've had to apply, which means paying full price for childcare this month and waiting 6 weeks to see if we're entitled to anything. If we're not, we'll use TFC.

Good luck with everything,x

Please get on touch with your local Citizens Advice Bureau for advice from experts!

I would have thought you'd be best staying in a familiar place rather than moving countries on top of all the other adjustments you're going to need to make.

I'd speak with CAB. Weigh up all your entitlements versus your current income. Talk to HR about your circumstances and get a feel of how a request to work PT would go.

Check out your local council website for childcare providers and give a few a call to gauge prices.

You're going to have a full-on time ahead of you, but being a parent brings so many joys

You say you are paid well

so don’t give up your job

get childcare - a cm or nursery are the cheaper options

you can use childcare vouchers

or if a single parent you can see if can claim
uc - but not sure I’d earn too much

depending what you earn

if you can then salary depending they do pay up to think 80% of childcare costs - you pay upfront then claim back and must be ofsted registered

@anotheremma can you advise on benefit's

Hi Blondes

@darkknight95

Congratulations on becoming a dad! I'm sorry that mum won't be on the scene, whatever the reason.

Firstly you should ask your employer about taking Shared Parental Leave, this means you would have time off with the baby now and would keep your options open in terms of returning to work. If baby's mum (your ex?) has already taken maternity leave then you would be able to take whatever time is left (up to 1 year in total minus the leave she's already taken). You should be eligible for Shared Parental Pay which is £156.66/week.
www.gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay

Secondly in terms of your benefit entitlement it won't make a different whether you're in England and Wales, so I'd suggest you stay where you have a job and support network (hopefully family and friends?)

You should claim Child Benefit. If baby's mum has been claiming it until now you would need to get the claim changed to be in your name.
www.gov.uk/child-benefit

You might also be eligible for Universal Credit, this depends on various factors including whether you have any savings (anything under £6000 is ignored, anything over £16,000 and you wouldn't get UC). You can find more information at www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/ and use a benefit calculator such as Entitledto or Turn2Us, and/or contact the Help to Claim service for more advice: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/helptoclaim/

Do you rent or own your home?

Sorry, don't know what happened with that last link - it should be
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/helptoclaim/

Also see
www.childcarechoices.gov.uk
There are a lot of schemes but basically the most help you could get is through UC (if eligible) and if not eligible for UC you could use Tax Free Childcare instead.

Thanks @AnotherEmma

@darkknight95 hope the above info helps