Mamasin - Ds is now in a nursery and although it took him a while to settle (a couple of months). He now goes in happily with now tears at all and seems very happy there .
Ds was 3 when this happened though. At 21 months as you dd is I'd have been reluctant to use a nursery for very long hours too. DS has always been very lively and I felt a calmer home atmosphere would suit him better when younger.
I hadn't planned to move him to nursery at 3 full time but he was just about to start a sessional nursery (21/2 hrs a day) where the cm would have taken him a couple of times a week, when it all kicked off.
In the end though I've found the nursery suits us better now. This is partly because of where it is and I don't need to drop ds so early to accomodate school runs, so he goes for fewer hours.
I think ds was ready for nursery as he does require a lot of input and entertainment, though ideally it wouldn't have been so many hours (4 days a week)
I also wanted a second mother figure and had fantasies that ds would stay with his cm until he was at school etc so he would be happy there but in the end it didn't work out like that.
Dustystar - I didn't complain, though in retrospect I should have and most of my friends told me to. I was just too upset at the time and my focus was on getting ds through the upheaval. His behaviour in the couple of months afterwards was really bad - all my friends noticed.
Luckily he is now much happier and settled. I could complain to ofsted now I suppose as I feel more on an even keel and still feel she behaved appallingly. However it is now 4 months later and I think maybe it is too late to do so now .