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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

nursery

12 replies

AlfieJMummy · 11/09/2022 00:38

Hi everyone! I need some advice.

We planned to start my little boy in nursery when’ll a few weeks after turning 3 for 2 days a week just to help us get ready for school ect.

I have just found out i’m pregnant, and I’m due right around the time we would be sending him. He would start around 4 weeks before the baby is born.

my issue is, do I send him 4 weeks before the baby comes (of course baby could come early or late!) and miss out on some of the last few days with him as just me and him (dads at work) or do i wait until the baby is a few weeks old and then send him? I don’t want him to feel like he’s being taken away because of the baby.

I’m not a mum who likes breaks from her kids, I’m with him 24/7, he’s never even been looked after by someone else for even an hour and we are like best friends😂 He is very confident and clever and loves to be social.

I’m just struggling at the thought of giving up a few of my last days of just us, but also worried about sending him when the baby is here incase he feels pushed out. Would it be better to wait until the baby is even a few months old? I also don’t want to push too much change on him in one go.

thank you!

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PepperSprayFirstApologiseLater1 · 11/09/2022 00:42

Send him before. A new sibling in the house is enough for an only child to get used to without being turfed out the house while mum stays with the new baby.

Atleast he would get 4 weeks to settle in before baby comes.

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 11/09/2022 00:49

Definitely send him before. My DD really relied on the routine of going to nursery when her DB was born. She was devoted to him, but started napping really poorly and just found it all a bit much at home for a few weeks, even though DH and I tried to make one on one time for her.

Stichintime · 11/09/2022 00:59

Definitely before. I would continue with his routine soon after the baby arrives as well, after a few days settling in at home together.

underneaththeash · 11/09/2022 07:55

definitely before, but just don’t send him every day. Or just for half days. You’ll be tired (and a bit grumpy) anyway.

Gloschick · 11/09/2022 08:25

If you don't need childcare, then just send him to preschool rather than nursery. Shorter sessions would less of a change after being together 24/7.
I would also start popping to the shops for an hour with someone else looking after him so he gets used to you not always being there.

jannier · 12/09/2022 16:23

Id send him to a playgroup for a few hours using the funding....if he turns 3 before January 1st that is your next start date....or to school nursery....providing its not right on top of your babys arrival. If worked in childcare for 29 years they do not need days at nursery before school just some separation for a few hours at a time just like school nursery or playgroup give. Readiness for school us separation from you, independence skills like self toileting, self dressing...shoes coat, trousers. Sharing toys...like at a toddler group, sitting for stories...library story time. It's not about reading or writing.

JenniferBarkley · 12/09/2022 16:25

I'd start him earlier than planned, 6 weeks before the baby comes so he's well settled and the two events aren't linked.

Tanith · 12/09/2022 19:43

"I’m not a mum who likes breaks from her kids, I’m with him 24/7, he’s never even been looked after by someone else for even an hour and we are like best friends😂 He is very confident and clever and loves to be social."

You should do something about this before he starts nursery. Now is the time to find out how he copes with being left with someone else so that, if he struggles, you have ample time to prepare him.

SunshineClouds1 · 12/09/2022 20:40

I agree with pp.

Atleast 6 weeks prior to babies due date and I would let him have some time with people without you there.

Looloo278 · 13/09/2022 12:32

Definitely start him before bubs arrives. If he starts just after baby is born he may feel like he is being sent to nursery because baby is spending time with mummy. He would possibly see it as a negative rather than a positive in a time when he also has a big change of a new sibling. it also gives him chance to settle in so you know he is happy there and you don’t have to worry so much.

Tumbleweed101 · 18/09/2022 17:55

I'd send him before to make his new friends and connect with the nursery staff. That way he has a wider emotional support group when the baby comes along rather than the baby suddenly taking over his space with you. He will be enjoying his own friends and activities by then and it will be easier on you all. You aren't giving up time with him but helping his social development. At 3yo they really enjoying being work peers.

SnackSizeRaisin · 21/09/2022 20:44

I agree with others, send him 6 weeks before. If you don't like the idea then just do 2 mornings a week at a preschool -you'll still have lots of time with him. When the baby comes it might be a bit frustrating for him at home if your attention is suddenly all on the baby, if he's out for a bit you can focus on the baby without feeling guilty. Plus you may be able to catch up on sleep!
I don't think preparation for school is necessary but at 3 he will enjoy having his own friends and a bit of independence

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