Worried about our childminder or just overthinking?

[Olivia199]

Hello!

Looking for some others experiences to hopefully make sense of the flap that my head is in!

My daughter is 1 and had her first settling session at her childminders yesterday. It was two hours and I stayed with her. She had the best time and loved causing mischief and playing which was great to see. She obviously felt comfortable and happy there despite being overdue a nap!

The childminder is one with 15 years experience, there are two of them there - both registered with ofsted and have a beautiful home with so much space and toys for the little ones.

She is also the ONLY childcare space I could find who would be totally flexible with shifts. I've managed to secure only day shifts but no set days so my three days a week change and she's been more than flexible in accommodating this. I go back in 6 weeks and as of next week she'll be doing one day a week there to make sure she's settled and ease us both in while I complete necessary training updates etc.

They often meet with other childminders, go out and about to loads of super fun places which I know my child will LOVE. They are all in with messy play, parks, adventures and soft play sessions too. All my daughters favourites.

I just don't have a great feeling and I honestly couldn't tell you why. The only thing I can think of - and this will sounds ridiculous - is that she has the same accent and looks a little like someone I used to know who is honestly just the worst kind of person and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Is this feeling I'm getting really just from that plus my own normal and natural worry for the upcoming transition? Potentially added into the fact its sort of the only option?
It likely doesn't help that I've always thought she'd go to nursery and I think I'd have liked that, so maybe just adjusting to that not being a thing?

I want to be excited for her but I've just got this niggle and I don't like it. There was a little boy there today, slightly older and having his first day on his own there and he was quite upset. They were very lovely with him and tried hard to settle him but I don't know how much seeing another child so upset about being left added to this feeling I have.

Is it normal to feel like this? Will it go away? I've not really been worried about her starting childcare in terms of her being away from me because she's super confident at the moment and loves exploring new things but obviously had the emotional side of "my baby is growing up". I just don't know what to think!

Sorry for the long moan. I'm hoping we both settle into it and I'll relax as time goes on but I hate that niggling feeling!!

Hmm, it does sound like you'd struggle to find similar childcare that suits your needs. Although I think we should listen to our instincts, if yours are all related to the unpleasant person then it does seem a prejudice rather than a real issue. Give it a month?

I think you've answered your own question

she has the same accent and looks a little like someone I used to know who is honestly just the worst kind of person and it makes me feel uncomfortable

That is absolutely a normal thing, to feel uncomfortable about someone who resembles a person who you have had a bad experience with. It's a known thing.

You're right to take notice of your feelings, but you are ALSO right to consider that they MAY be no more rational than fear of spiders (say)(I am assuming you're not in Australia:D).

When it comes to childcare

Recommendations and references are SO important.

do you have either?

Thank you all!

I think you're right, it's definitely my own prejudice and I hate that! I wonder whether that plus the standard anxiety that comes with starting childcare has just given me a grim feeling.

I have had two very positive recommendations for them both and she has a lot of wonderful reviews from parents I've known previously and the children do seem so happy there.

Plus my daughter seemed to like them just fine and had great fun showing them all the toys she found.

Thank you for reassuring me that it's normal (ish, I mean, it's definitely fairly irrational at this point!!) I'll give it some time and hopefully we both settle into it just fine.
She's said she'll send me as many photos as I could possible want on WhatsApp to reassure me she's having the best time.

It's such a strange internal battle...! Logically it's all amazing so I think I just need to get a grip a bit.

And definitely not Australian... I squawk at spiders!

Maybe give it some time, a trial and see if the feeling lifts. I never ignore those niggles that’s your instincts and they are rarely wrong.
Do you have other options?

If your daughter is happy that means a lot

you prob have nerves as found back to work

she sounds nice. Does fun things and is happy for you to swap days which tbh is rare

give it a month or two. See how feel

personally I would prefer a cm than nursery. Nice to be part of a normal every day family and going out to parks etx like you would

rather then stuck in one room

I felt a bit like this, but she turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made in relation to my DS. He loved it there, she was so good for him and it was a major wrench when he had to leave.

So I think, give it a bit of time and then see how you feel.

Thank you all! I think you're right. I need to give this a chance and see how it plays out. The next few weeks will hopefully tell me one way or another.
I'm almost definitely projecting some of my nerves etc too!
My mum has been very lovely and come up with the other option of a different setting booked for three set days and if my work ends up on one of the other two, she'll cover that. I feel better already knowing there is an option.
I think a large part of this could well be all my own issues and worries and the very emotional time that it is. Fingers crossed it'll settle down and by the time I'm back in the full swing of work I can stop worrying!
They're right in the middle of a big town center too, close to work and meet lots of other childminders so she'd have such a lovely time socialising!

Thank you, this is amazing and hopefully we will be following your footsteps!