I'm an idiot.

[letsgetbackto2019]

I live in a village near a not-so-well-off area (NW) and I applied for one of the schools in that area as a first choice for DS' primary, as he has a language delay and he could also attend the speech and language unit in the same place. (DH and I are non native speakers and bilingualism hasn't worked).

No after school clubs, no childminders picking up there, DH and I working full time, but i just assumed I could find an after school nanny. It turned out not an easy job but one week ago I found this lady who was also recommended by one of the agencies I had contacted. Stellar references, certificates etc etc. She said she wanted to work as self-employed rather than through the agency. Fine. DS liked her and followed to her car after the first meet. All good.

She left me her documents to have a look and promised to send me the contract. Lots of messages to define the details of first school days with reduced hours etc. Finally she sent me a contract by email with no final details, with the idea to finalise them in person when coming to collect her documents during the weekend - she said she needed them for an interview for a weekend job. Ok.

She popped in unannounced yesterday morning, collected the documents, no contract but said cheerfully "see you on the 1st at the school".

This morning she texted me that unfortunately yesterday afternoon she had interviewed for a job with more hours, so... sorry.

Legally she had all rights to do so, and I have been a fucking idiot. I am fuming and hating her and myself. I'm fucked. Who am I going to find over a bank holidays and a couple of days. Everyone looks "taken" by now. I am an useless idiot. I haven't even replied to the text as don't know what to say, and I have even spent £150 for my dad to fly over at the end of half term where she would have gone on holiday! DS and I will be happy to have Grandpa here, but he could have come any other cheaper day! I am an idiot (did I already say it?)

Unless I’ve missed something, I don’t understand how you’ve been an idiot.

Yes, maybe you could have looked earlier, but someone could have easily dropped out this close to starting that you secured a while ago.

You and your husband now need to get into planning mode. Can either/both of you book leave for next week/work from home & make up hours? Make a list of all possible options, put posts on social media (local parenting groups), see if other schools or even nurseries have after school club provision.

There must be something. Do the school have a Facebook page? Do you have a Facebook page for your local area? Ask on there. Ask the school what the other full time working parents do.
There has to be something. Sorry you are in this position.

Yes I have posted on the local FB page, on Nextdoor and on childcare.co.uk (premium member). Will ask the school, yes. My work is flexible in principle and can be done from home but there are often meetings around 3 pm and DH doesn't drive :(

I agree I don't think you've been an idiot either.
You got it sorted and unfortunately she's left you in the shit.

I would use the power of Facebook.
Someone must know someone who collects from there, surely no childminders at all isn't right?
Also post it in any school related groups, childcare groups.

Have you also looked on childcare.co.uk

Any chance the school will reply on Tues/Weds?

It’s a small school with the vast majority of families with at least 1 parent at home at least part time. But yes, will use the first days with reduced hours to try and get to know them and see whether they know someone. I could even try and start discussing part time for myself, but can’t be so quickly sorted from an admin point of view I suppose. Also, I want DS to have extra time with a native speaker rather than with me, for his educational benefit!

You've not been an idiot, this is something that you won't know unless you've looked into it/been they're before, but this is very common with this kind of job. After-school nannies are like gold dust because if you think about it who can afford to/wants to work those hours? Very, very few people. You'll find people taking these type of jobs are also looking for something else with more hours and will ditch and switch when they find it.

You may have better luck looking for a student, a mum at the school looking for some extra cash or a nanny share (look for a family who has a nanny who may be willing to share the after school hours). Or if you have a cleaner/dog walker/use a laundry service look at combining all of these tasks into a nanny/housekeeper role and pay someone for longer hours.

Sadly till a contract is signed whether cm nursery nanny etx you carry on looking

doesn’t help you now

would school consider an after school club if enough parents wanted one

any parents cm there

see if you can hire a temp nanny for a month while giving you space to look

do you know any parents there /have a wats app group you can ask

you say you found her a week ago - what was your plan of didn’t find her

There was no plan! Unfortunately I had to stay and WFabroad for an extended period during summer for family reasons, so I could only do the usual online places and only meet people on my return. It looked weird that she sent me a blank contract and I had a feeling something wasn't right, but I wanted to trust her and here is my thread title from :(

Now - I have contacted all local agencies yesterday and told them I consider multiple options including temporary nanny etc. Have sent an email to the school office too. Going to meet parents at the stay and play session on Thursday. Other than that, I could only try and request part time or flexi myself, but I'd rather not and wouldn't be possible quickly anyway :(

Ask the other parents what their plans are.
Because you aren't going to be the only one who needs wrap a round care.

Do you and DH have the kind of jobs you can block out the school run in your diary on alternating days, and then make up the work later on? I do this on a Weds when the DCs have an early finish and I couldn't find childcare for just the one day.

Don't beat yourself up. I used a childminder once who was amazing on paper but in reality, she couldn't cope with older kids and just wanted to earn money while she stayed at home with her own daughter. The working relationship broke down after 5 weeks. I was in a new job and we were stuck without a childminder. Thankfully, one we had turned down still had space so we went with her.

Something will work out.

Maybe an older granny type lady might went to earn some money doing 3/7

worth putting ad in local shop near school or on any local town Facebook groups

wjat do you ideally need 7/9 3/7 and all day in holidays

rho there are holiday clubs like mega camps - my daughter did a few days tbere this summer and loved it

Edit your FB post to include students, the hours you need could work for a students timetable?

With regards to childcare.co.uk, I'm a professional on here and I don't often search or reply to adverts. Do a search and actively message everyone who meets your requirements.

I did send several (premium member) but no one available!
DH and I have quite flexible jobs, but he doesn't drive for medical reasons so even if he could cover after school hours a couple of days a week, I am the one having to do the round trip. And often have meetings 2-3 pm, or 3-4 pm.
Asked around in the office, no luck and got also bashed "but why did you send him to X school and not to the local oversubscribed Y school with after school club". Well, school Y is the popular choice but has a very bad reputation for SEN.

A couple of agencies have called me back though, finger crossed.