MIL/GPS

[Mum4all]

It makes me sad to see the posts from new mums asking AIBU in regards to their MILs and the perceived UB of these MIL, never do the mums refer to them as GMa.

Yes there is a distinction between their mums and DP/Hs mum but they are GMs.

I know all family relationships are not harmonious and we spend lots of time and effort accommodating each other but DC and GC bring such joy and miracles to families, so mums give MILs / GMs a bit of a break. Obviously not if they really are monsters!

Yes it is sad.
However my ds would not allow his dw to unfairly treat me and dh. And if I overstepped the mark my ds would tell me.
Too many husbands who are the real problem.
Yes, support your dw but don't sit on the fence when there's a problem.

My birthday card is sent by my ds, my communication for buying dgc gifts is through both ds and ddil.
If your ds is not fostering a good relationship between his dw and parents then he's part of the problem.

My DD and I have a wonderful relationship with DSILs parents.

DD welcomes the input/ advice/support/wisdom from both sets
of GPs and loves the very special relationship both DG have with both sets of GPs.

Dear mums give them a chance with their nappy changing, garish presents and sometimes seeming to over step the mark, we are parents too. We are not trying to destroy your children, our grandchildren, or monopolise them, being a GP is enough.

Do you not think the "mums" are in a better place to assess their own relationships with their MILS?

Of course they are! Warrick.

I refer to her as MIL not GM on here because she’s my mother in law, not my grandmother. If my DC we’re posting I’m sure they’d use GM.

Some MILs behave like dickheads.

So do some first time parents.

If you think people on here are being unreasonable then it's likely that you're very lucky in the MIL you have.

It makes me sad to see the posts from new mums asking AIBU in regards to their MILs and the perceived UB of these MIL, never do the mums refer to them as GMa

As someone's already said, they are not the poster's grandparent.
My MIL was amazing and the best grandparent ever. But she was my MIL. Why would I call her my GM?

Well I've read this three times and, maybe I'm just stupid, but I can't see what the point is that you're trying to get at.

You're quite belligerent Warrick,

Of course you would not refer to your MIL as GM, as she is not your GM.

Let's not go down rabbit holes that negate the point of my post.

If you're not asking that people refer to their MILs as GMa, what is your point?

Genuinely I don't understand. I am a big defender of MILs here, and another GM. But I really don't understand what you're trying to say on the OP.

never do the mums refer to them as GMa.

What does this mean?

Or refer to them as the GM of their DC!
Sorry my mistake, shall we move on now.

So you mean that in posts instead of writing MIL you want people to type out GM of DC?

Just trying to understand your point

...why would they need to refer to them as the GM of their DC? It's obvious! When I talk about my DH, I don't say "my DD's DF", I say "my DH", because i am the one talking about him and so I use the language that makes sense to me! I similarly don't refer to my sister as my mother's daughter.

Your argument doesn't make any sense.

Is there a reason that this is in the paid childcare section? I misread the first sentence and thought initially it was about MILs as CMs

OMG!!!

I'm gone x

I really don't think they're trying tonne argumentative, I agree that I would never say GM of in talking about my MIL since she's not my GM

Sorry cross post

If that’s not your point @Mum4all then what is?

your whole post was about why posters don’t refer to their MILs as Grandma?

We grow up with our parents so mostly think that's more normal than other families even if we say I am not like my mum. Its just nature. My dil spends more time with her mum she more comfortable around her and obviously knows her better that's natural sometimes I'm wishing I saw them more but I understand but I also get not mils would they just feel sidelined.