Tell me if there are any potential pitfalls with this childcare proposal

[BreakfastGold]

I am a lone parent, DD is just turned 3. I work 4 days per week. Three days are straightforward, she attends nursery and seems happy enough there, I wfh on these days and it's all manageable.

But one day a week I have to go into the office (same day each week, it's fixed). My commute is almost 90 minutes so it's a long day (I work compressed hours so slightly longer working day and 30 min lunch too). Up to now this hasn't been a problem because a relative looks after DD at my home and can stay as late as I need. However they have now given "notice" so to speak as they have had to take on extra work due to cost of living increases.

I can't realistically put DD in her regular nursery on this day, as my working day is too long. Even if I took her the moment it opened I'd be 15 minutes late for work and I'd also be right on the last minute for collecting her. I just can't see it working and it would be such a long day for her there too. I also feel a bit nervous being 90 minutes away when she's not with family. I have considered asking to reduce my hours on that day but money is quite tight, every penny helps.

So I am now thinking about finding a childminder close to my office for the one day a week, I'd have to do the commute with her but she's not too bad in the car (we regularly drive an hour to see family), usually happy enough listening to music and stories and hopefully would sleep on the way back (she doesn't nap). Would this be feasible? I've never used a childminder before so I don't really know what I'm doing here. My DD is quite confident and very sociable so I imagine she'd settle okay with a decent childminder. It would still be a pretty gruelling day I guess but better than the alternatives I can come up with?

I think a childminder near your work is definitely the best option. I used a childminder near work and I only work 15 minutes away! I saved on half an hour childcare daily that way, every penny counts 😄 you would save 3 hours worth!
And like you say, if she ends up being poorly then taking 90 minutes to pick her up is not ideal.

Every day in the car for that long would not be feasible but one day a week is fine.

Sounds ideal and you have nursery as a back up for when the childminder is on leave etc?

I think you would be hard pressed to find a CM who would take your child 1 day per week.

Sounds like a really sensible solution. Also saves on 3 hours of childcare costs per week!

The only disadvantage I can think of is if you ever want to use the childminder but aren't going to the office (if you have a doctors appointment, are WFH or visiting other sites). But I think you'd be able to arrange all that on nursery days.

You can split the 30 hours between providers if needed.

I think you'd struggle to get a good CM who would take a child for 1 day a week.
Would sleeping on the way home not completely bugger up bed time?
What about when you're on annual leave, you'd have to pay anyway.

Could you pay your relative to continue to watch your child? Your childcare arrangement remains unchanged & they get extra income?

Is there no way you could move.closer to your work?

Is your employer flexible? Could you extend your working hours on your wfh days to the max nursery opening would permit, then do a reduced day on your office day so you could fit work plus commute into nursery opening times?

Travelling 3hrs a day, once a week every single week is really quite a lot.

It’s not a bad plan but have you thought about when she starts school, presumably in a year? A childminder local to you might be better as they could do the school run for you on those days and if you line them up now, you know you’ll be sorted. Or can you not pay the relative if the big issue for them is money?

Will sleeping in the car on the way home bugger up bedtime?

I'm guessing next September school starts. Might be worth looking for a local solution that will work, because you will face the same issue then.

its not a bad plan - both of mine went to nursery near where I worked to reduce their nursery hours and put ne a bit closer to them which I found reassuring. But at this stage you need to be looking to school and wrap around so I suggest you do what someone else has suggested and find a childminder near home who will be able to carry on when they start school. Advantages will be that it will a nice continuity for DC when everything else changes and that they are more likely to do one day a week if they can see it’s a long term arrangement. Disadvantages are that you’re 90minutes away but that going to happen from next year anyway.

Thank you, lots of food for thought.

@MalbecandToast This is actually my biggest concern, the day is Monday and someone told me Mon/Fri is less in demand as people who work p-t tend not to work them - not sure though!

@Schooldil3ma it would mess up bedtime yes! I'd have to keep her up a bit later in the evening but I think I could manage it once a week. Yes annual leave is a good point. Not sure if I can make the alternative ideas work though.

@TartanTed no, they have been offered a promotion with their current employer but it means going full time, it's not just picking up extra hours for them.

@Maybeebebe no, I own our home (stretched myself to the max to do that hence money being tight). I'd sooner move jobs but I don't really want to do that either!

@HackettGreen I have thought of that but it will work out expensive. I live in London and the nursery alone is crippling, not sure I can justify an extra couple of hours on top of that. I might end up having to do this if I can't find a childminder for one day though.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz possibly although it would mean long days in nursery for her the 3 days. She already does 8:30-6pm as it is which I feel is too long but not much I can do about it. I feel like I would feel less bad having her in the car with me!

I used to be a childminder and had some parents use my services because I was close to their work.

It worked fine. Just be aware though it can make it a long day for your DD. Have plenty of snacks in the car for the way home just incase she gets hungry.

Make sure she goes to the toilet before you leave the childminder's home. A long commute with a child needing a wee isn't good.

If you are off work for any reason, like a days holiday or a day off sick, on a childminder day it would be a long drive there and back if you still wanted your child to go to the childminder. You'd probably realistically not use childcare that day even though you'll still need to pay for it.

It sounds like a sensible solution to me though.

Can you not pay your relative to look after her ?

It is only a short term fix though, she would start school in September 2023 and you would need to find a local cm to do before/after school care. Maybe it would be easier to do so now and get her settled.

I'm a childminder and I'd say that is your best option. X

For those suggesting that she would fall asleep on the way home, this should not happen as the childminder should put her down for a small nap, or at least quite time with a book to recharge her batteries. X

Is your job the sort of job that you clock in and out of? Would you get no flexibility from your manager.

If you were one of my team jd tell you to just do 10-4 at the office and to use your current nursery. Or to only come in alternate weeks if that helped etc. As long as you completed your tasks and were loyal and dedicated the precise number of hours worked doesn't bother me.

My friend uses a childminder two days a week (her son is about 18 months old) and it's fantastic. She drops him at about 8am and then picks him up at 6pm and it's like dropping him at a family member's house. It's also very reasonable imho. She pays £30 a day (so £60 a week for the two days) and gets 20 hours of childcare. Childminders are usually a bit more flexible so if you get stuck in traffic for example they're not calling you every 5 minutes to see where you are etc!

My only worry would be if you were unwell, child was fine, and you wanted them to go to CM so you could rest - but it wouldn't be feasible due to the distance

In a years time childcare will change so I would find a cm locks to you and ideally the school uou Hope to get into that she pick ups from there

it’s one day and 3hrs is a lot for a child to be on the car weekly when could be more local

or nursery and a. Babysitter or someone from nursery take to yours and put to bed for you that one day

What are you going to do next September? If your still at work you will need someone to cover wrap around care, the 14 weeks school is shut and the half days common to the first few weeks of reception.
It's much easier to find a childminder who will take your child now then continue at school age than be looking for a 4 year old at school....numbers are limited and most give preference to existing children.
Id find one now who does your hoped for school and transfer totally to them using your funding they provide the same quality of care and education as a nursery but on a smaller scale (using groups and other minders to provide a large group experience) are more flexible on opening hours and often cheaper.

When we had 2 DC at nursery, a change of train times plus DH's job re-locating meant we couldn't get back for 6pm pick up twice a week. I found someone local who was able to pick them up at 5pm each day (so they had a slightly shorter day at nursery) and looked after them until 6.45pm. It worked really well. The job spec was, essentially, to keep them alive & give them some toast but she would take them to the park or play games at home with them, cook them some tea and, on most occasions, have them bathed & in their PJs when we got home.
Might that work for you? If your employer would let you start 15 mins later (and work 15mins later) then you could still do nursery drop off