3 year old : nursery or nanny?

[gorillalala]

Hi all, please help with my dilemma.

TLDR : DD(3 years) and DS(10 months) need be in the same full time childcare. Which is better for DD - nursery or nanny?

Full version :

I’ve always felt sad at the thought of putting my young babies into nursery as it just feels like it won’t be a comforting enough environment for a baby, and I know that at a young age they’re better off with a single caregiver.

So for that reason, DD was at a lovely little childminder setting from 9 months old and then nursery from about 1.5y as childminder had to stop working. DD is now a happy confident chatty social toddler and loves nursery (I mean, most mornings she wants to stay at home but most evenings on pick up she wants to stay at nursery).

I’ve always had in the back of my mind that when it was time for second baby to need childcare, that we would get a nanny as the cost wouldn’t be vastly different to having two full time at nursery, and there are a multitude of benefits to having a nanny.

However now that the time has come, the thought of taking DD out of nursery I feel is sort of taking a step backwards as it’s benefitting her so much socially and educationally. I know the nanny will/should take them out to playgroups and should do educational activities, but I’m not sure if it’ll be the same? We do still plan to send her for 2 days to make use of the free hours, but she’d be with the nanny more overall.

Has anybody had their 3+ year old with a nanny and found it limited them in any way? I don’t know what to do! I still ideally don’t want DS to go to a nursery until ~1.5y but I think I need to put DD’s needs above that as DS will adjust in time.. right?

We just moved ours to a new nursery as we moved area - same age as yours. Both nurseries have catered to them both incredibly.

DD3 thrives with social interaction. She's doing amazing and would struggle without her peers now I think.

I think I would go with nursery in this scenario. Your DD will be so well settled there by now- a nanny would surely be a very different dynamic. At 10 months old your DS will be absolutely fine at a good nursery too!

I'd pick a nursery if one is off sick your not left in the lurch with no childcare and I've read some not so good stories about different childminders on here I feel more secure knowing there's a big group of workers caring for the children at once plus at 3 year old kids can voice any upsets more, I kept my daughter in the private nursery until age 5 before reception as she loved it and really made a lot of first friends who now go to her school. It's just personal preference really and how bad you need the childcare.

I wouldn't take your dd out completely if she likes it, but I think she'll get as much out of 2 days as 5.
I had the similar ages and did nanny plus two days at preschool for the older one. It really worked for us. I started the youngest at preschool at 2 and she wasn't ready (whereas my eldest was at that age). Educationally, the elder one still learnt more with the nanny than the preschool though because of having more attention.
But it depends on the nursery and the nanny, so if you're happy with the nursery just maybe see what nannies are available and only go with that if you really click.

I think it could be a backwards step, and I would stick with nursery.

Thanks all - great to have your opinions :)

@TamSamLam it's good to hear that your experience was good - that's sort of what I was hoping. At the moment we're trying to do what you suggested - arrange to see some nannies and see what we think of them before making a decision.

That’s an easy one. You can do a free pre-school for your eldest and then a nanny fir both after school.
where do you live?

Send to nursery for the entitled hours and then have the nanny pick up.

We're in a similar position except with the free hours, the nursery works out much cheaper. Also I think it's good for the 3yo to have social interaction.

I'd go for a nanny if possible, as one to one childcare is ideal and she would of course encourage play with other children. Nursery can be fine but a secondary primary caregiver is better.

Sorry I'm not sure I totally understand (there are free pre-schools? Or do you mean just using the government's free hours?) - but to answer your question, we live in Stockport

We're only entitled to 15 free hours and when those are stretched over the full year and the extra nursery charges added on, the saving is not that much at all :-(

Why don't you send her to a school nursery, usually five mornings a week (free) and then get a nanny for the baby and wraparound/school holiday care for the older one. Does the school she's going to for reception have a nursery attached?

I'd always go nanny, but I have worked in nurseries and am now a nanny, so definitely biased!

I look after a three year old at the moment (as a nanny) and he does five morning sessions at a school nursery, which is pretty much free as it's term time only. It works really well, he gets the social benefits and preschool learning from nursery, then afternoons and holidays are free for other activities.

Nanny and school preschool. Have a similar family and that is what I am doing. The 3yo is not in an 8-1 ratio all day, the children learn to be with each other, and the baby gets the bonding that’s so important under 2.

It can be quite hard for children to understand their relationship with a nanny, mine is confused by what he now sort of knows was the transactional nature of that relationship. It's hard to know to what extent we should continue to include his nanny in his life now he's much older - it's still an important connection for him; it's complicated. I know she's in touch with a lot of the other children she has nannied even going to their weddings so it's not just us! I think I'd use a nursery given my time again.

It sounds perfect to have 2 days in nursery and 3 with the nanny, you're combining the social side with the time for her to follow individual interests and to bond with her brother.

So on the nanny days they might pick up a class that DD really likes and have a park meet-up with non nursery friends as well as asking the nanny to teach DD things that she needs for school.

5 mornings in preschool is very restricting I found, 2 whole days much better!

Get a childminder to do drop off at nursery for eldest..stretched funding gives you 11 or 22 hours roughly ....take care of baby and collect. Or use school nursery and childminder in holidays...or mix the funding 15 with each....then you will be set up with someone to do wrap around care and the 14 weeks school is closed when your eldest goes to reception.

I'd employ a full time nanny if you can manage it financially.

Find a nice preschool or school nursery for your 3 year old to do their 15 hours.

I would do nanny and use the free hours for a pre school, also looking further ahead when you send eldest to school if you are using a nanny then you have wraps round care sorted and the school holidays.

We sent ours to a preschool nursery, so attached to school and only available for 15 hours (so funded by the government hours), and had the nanny for younger siblings and the time they weren’t in preschool. Ideally you would send them to the preschool attached to the school they will ultimately go to so they start to prepare and meet children they will be in reception with.