Worried my daughter will cry all day 😭

[SunnySide1992]

Hey everyone. So I'm returning to work soon only part time. My mum has bee coming over a few days a week so my daughter can get used to her looking after her. I'm starting to leave the house a little longer each day to see how they get on. But most the time she cries. My mum tried everything but she just wants me and my mum got really upset the other day as she just can't seem to stop her crying. Will this pass? I exclusively breastfeed and she only naps on me during the day and falls asleep via the boob. She will sleep in her pram tho so my mum can try and take her for some walks.
Just looking to see if there's any advice or is this normal?

I will also add she won't take a bottle but is getting on well with her 360 cup and food! So hoping when I'm at work she can have milk via the cup

How old is your daughter? Is it possible that her being upset is upsetting your mum?

in my experience of dropping off children at nursery and seeing other children being dropped off they quickly calm down / cheer up when the parent leaves. Sometimes they cry again when they see them at pick up time. But they certainly aren’t crying the whole time in between. When you first take them there can be adjustment but it all settles down

I know it’s hard to leave them. But above is my honest experience.

take care xx

How old is she? And how many days has your mum had her?

She's almost 8 months.
My mum will be looking after her for 1 whole day and 2 half days. We've only tried a few hours here and there but will start doing more this week

I think that's normal for your daughter. I'd expect her to settle after a few weeks.

I'd be more concerned about your mum's expectations. Does she know how to distract her without taking it personally?
Does your mum follow a routine with her? If not it might help if you have a routine that your mum could follow so that she gets some sense of continuity to make her feel safe.

They can start with separation anxiety around this age (which unfortunately coincides with when most mums go back to work!!) it's a hard transition but it sounds like you're doing it really gradually for everyone and I'm sure that will help!

My DS never had a bottle when I went back to work he was a little older at 12 months he just had all his drinks from a sippy cup and then he breastfed when I got home. I just got really engorged the first week I started back at work ...but then everything adjusted abit - are your employers supportive / know you are breastfeeding?

Definitely encourage her to get out with DD even if it is just for walks. I find babies are much easier to manage outside the home.

Have you tried leaving her at moms instead so she's not thinking you've left her at home and gone out?

Will she take a bottle or sippy cup? It will be very confusing for an ebf baby to be cared for by someone that can't breastfeed them. Try working on falling asleep without boob to help your mum You have my sympathy, my first baby screamed whenever I left him with anyone, it was too much for anybody to handle in the end, it's so hard.

Sorry just saw she likes her 360, maybe give her that at naptime instead

Completely normal, i think you need to start spending some time breaking some of those sleeping and feeding habits otherwise you are setting both your DD and your mum up for failure. Same as you need to prepare yourself to go back to work you need to prepare your DD, and it doeasn't sound like you have yet. Would your mum do better having your DD at her house? I also think on the times you are trying you need to leave straight away, as if you were going to work.

But also, your mum needs to be realisyic about what she has signed on for, has she spent mum time with your DD in the past 8 months? My mum dod childcare for me when i went back to work but she had seen my DD 3 or 4 times every week since birth, had looked after her on her own at her house and overnight at various times, so when i dropped DD off there it was all very normal to DD

To help your mum and your child you need to sort out the feeding and sleeping issues

stop letting dd sleep on you via boob

feed. Put down awake. Pat shush etc

if you can’t do this how will your mum

You need to sort her sleep out. Get her to nap independently and she will be much happier with your mum. At eight months she doesn’t need to be sleeping on you.

Wow the comments about pat shush and sort her sleep out... OP you're doing nothing wrong feeding your baby to sleep. Babies do just figure it out you do not need to do anything different at the moment!! When I wasn't there my EBF baby always napped fine in buggy or he cuddled up with my mum under a blanket watching tele and dozed off which at the time was miraculous because he had always just fed to sleep with me. Please don't worry about the naps your mum and baby will find their own way x