Adore new nanny but no nanny duties - how do I encourage it?

[bojangles]

Been back at work a couple of months now and have hired a nanny to look after DD 3 3/4 and DS 18mths. We all adore our nanny who is very expericienced and comes brings her own 16 mth DD with her.

The ONLY problem is the lack of nanny duties. I don't expect much but the occasional load of washing etc would help. Her contract stated 'looking after children and normal nanny duties' but I suppose I just skimmed over them probaably a bit embarrased to discuss such things. I had been working shorter hours so she hadn't been cooking for the kids just giving sandwiches at lunch. I am extending my hours and hers over the next weeks so will obviously expect cooked food for kids so this could be a good time to tackle the other duties.

I suspect I have allowed this to go unchallenged but am I right in thinking that a nanny should do a bit more than just look after the children (although I accept that having 3 under 4 is no easy task) but I am paying her a good wage and she actually ends up with more each month than me after I pay childcare as she obviously doesn't have any child care costs herself.

How would you tackle this?

time for a review, ask her how she feels she is doing?

Whilst you are discussing the new cooking arrangements mention the other jobs that you'd like her to do.
It is her job to do the kids washing and to keep their rooms/beds/toys tidy. Also I used to hoover if the kids had made a huge mess at mealtimes or during the day.

Thank you both very good suggestions and will probably try princessmel's suggestion first then review fully in a few weeks. I presume that you expect the nanny duties irrespective of how many kids there are?

Message withdrawn

Any experienced nanny should be able to fit a bit of washing in around the children - i used to look after 3 under the age of 3 and did the odd bit of washing when needed (wasn't in my contract to do washing) and cooked lunch easily

Yes, I used to nanny for 2 girls then 3 boys.
Always did their washing and ironing. Made their beds. Cooked their meals. Tidied etc. I also did shopping and other extra stuff but I was nice and they took advantage a bit. I took my ds with me for a while and made extra sure I didn't let any of my work slip. Didn't want them thinking I was not managing beacuse of him.
I am still caring for the youngest boy now (only after school). Its been 11 years this easter!

I would not expect a nanny to do any of those duties tbh. And I would think that she prob would not have any time to do them anyway! God, I have two dd's (8 and 10 months) and I even struggle to load the machine, stack the dishwasher.....mind you that is more to do with me being on MN!!

I made their beds when I got there. While they were getting dressed etc or after school run. Then gave them their brekkie. Usually put a wash on.

Did school run.
Took the youngest to toddlers, or played or saw friends, went to park etc etc.
After lunch he had a sleep and I did their bits of ironing while watching tv. Not much.

Did school run again, then helped with homework, did tea and then bathed the youngest. Mum was home by 6.15 ish.

I don't do all that everyday now I'm home with my dc. I can sit on here and flop about as I'm not at work and being paid.

Did you tell her what you wanted in terms of housekeeping at her interview, or specify it in the contract?

I think if you want her to do more than care for the children, feed them and clear and tidy up after them you need to specify exactly what you expect. I actually don't do any washing/ironing/cleaning at all.

She may not be happy that you're springing extra duties on her two months in.

Thank you to everyone for your comments. Perhaps a bit naively I expected 'nanny duties' to cover the odd load of washing and keeping areas tidy where kids have been playing etc. I was led to expect this from the agency we went through and so don't see them as 'extra duties'.

I think her dd has been struggling to settle a bit and she is very apologetic about this so I haven't wanted to make the situation worse but 2 months in and the increase in hours is a good time to review progress and to see what changes can be made.

At the end of the day my DC are very settled and love her but she does get a good wage and only has to work 18 hours per week at present finsishing at 3.30 most days. I am extedning my hours shortly to work until 5 so inevitably this will have to encompass preparing dinner and I really don't want to come home to doing more chores than are necessary.

I do of course understand that my DC's alone can be a nightmare but with the added stress of her DD, who is very clingy, it must be very difficult.

A nanny should be doing anything that is related to the children.

Feeding them including cooking for them and cleaning up after them.

Doing their laundry -washing, drying ,ironing and putting away.

Changing their beds/cots.

Keeping their rooms tidy.

Thanks Jura - think that I should have been clearer but it is our first nanny and I was so grateful to find someone who was and is lovely that I probably didn't spell out the specifics.

18 hours per week isn't that long a working week for a nanny in my view (I do 50 hours a week, which is I suspect below average for a full-time nanny). I therefore suspect that your nanny is part-time... 2 perhaps 3 days per week, is that right? Or are the working days just quite short?

Contract ideally should have been more specific about what was expected, as duties can be an area of dispute. As it isn't specific in this instance, have a review meeting to evaluate how things are going, and raise your concerns regarding the things you had expected to be done, which aren't being done.
With 3 under 4's, I would not expect Ironing to be something the nanny did - as it can be hard to do safely with children around. If they are all asleep that is one thing... but does that ever happen with 3 under 4's.
As a nanny, I'm not contracted in my current job to do any domestic duties... but at the moment I tend to do 3 or so washes a week plus drying/folding, load/unload dishwasher.

As you are extending your nannies hours, you are amending the contract anyway, so good time to review the whole situation and discuss with your employee about what domestic tasks you would expect done. Good luck, do let us know how you get on.

Add an appendix to the contract about duties in future and don't skimp on anything they might be expected to do.

For your current nanny, tidying should definitely be involved, and it's not difficult to put the odd load of washing on - takes 5 mins? Ironing, as nannynick says, only if she can do it safely! Cooking for children shold definitely be involved and keeping kitchen area tidy/stacking dishwasher with dirty plates.

At the very least tidying up after the kids, any mess made while she is there. Be clear about what meals you expect her to make, if you want the kids to have hot food or whatever at lunch this is normally within any nannies duties.

Nannynick, Frannikin and scramble - thank you for your practical advice. Nanny currentl works 3 days per week finishing at 3.30 as I collect DD from pre school on way home but will be extending to 5-6pm.

I am actually more worried now about how her dd is settling in (or not as the case is) and perhaps the lack of the extra duties is more a symptom of this. Any views advice on how I tackle this? I want to help her as mich as possible as the last thing I want or need is for her to leave us.

In contrast my mum has the children all day on a thurs and manages to cook dinner for all of us and do my washing, dishwasher etc.

It sounds like you have a good relationship with her - could you not just have a friendly chat and explain that with the increase in your work hours would it be possible for her to do x, y and z?

If she hasnt been doing them because she hasnt had the time then she will be more likely to explain this, and if she wasnt aware she should have been doing them then there's no embarrassment caused on either side

Again, a friendly chat about how things are going for her (and her dd) would be the easiest way for you both - if she is having any problems that are really concerning her then she's more likely to open up in a relaxed 'over coffee' atmosphere - as opposed to a formal review!