overnight childcare for disabled teenager

[Geneticsbunny]

My DS (13) is disabled and can't be left with anyone who doesn't have previous experience of children with additional needs. This includes all of my friends and family. I desperately need a night away with my husband.

Does anyone have any idea how much it would cost to hire specialist overnight childcare and how I would find someone? Yes we have a social worker but it is so slow and I am going to go out of my mind if we don't get a night off soon.

Could you ask your social worker to book an agency? Or if you have the funding via direct payments you could contact an agency.

there’s some that are specialist in children with additional needs. The social worker can always speak to the continuing healthcare nurse for a list of suitable agencies they use.

Could you ask a social care to do an assessment? Hopefully the outcome of this would be either overnight care, or direct payments

I get direct payment for dd but unfortunately haven’t been able to have her overnight, I’m a single parent and haven’t had a night away from her for 3 years (and that was when I needed emergency surgery so had no choice) 😬. So I really feel for you, it’s not easy to find a suitable carer. You maybe able to find a local care agency which offers this service but your probably looking at quite a bit of money for overnight.
I am waiting for my direct payments to be reviewed to try and find over night stays for dd, there are a limited number of places at respite centres but I think you need a referral from a social worker, I have been told there’s a 10 week wait to see a social worker.

There are some SEN residential schools that offer respite care it I’m not sure how you go about getting a place.

@Absc that might be worth a try. The only thing is that I am a bit worried that if I offer to pay, the social workers might say we can just pay for all future respite so I would rather sort it without them.

@Snowdropsarelovely we had a social care assessment a year ago and are still waiting for the help they said that we need to be put in place.

@Lovemusic33 local care agency might be worth a try. Residential school is not an option unfortunately. I don't hink his needs are high enough. I just want an occasional night off. Once or twice a year would do me.

Hi OP you could try a specialist agency like Snap they provide all sorts of specialist support for children and young people with all kinds of SEN. I hope you find someone I know how hard it is

Are none of your family willing to learn? People might surprise you.

I work with kids with additional needs and there is a child in my social circle who is medically complex. I've made sure that his parents know I'm able to help out with babysitting etc as I"m aware that most of their family are too scared to do so.

In hospital I'd be one of the people called to look after him if there was an issue so don't find his needs off putting in the way that his aunts/ uncles do. I'm also occasionally involved in training parents in some of the skills that his carers need to have.

However, they themselves aren't quite ready to make the step of leaving him!

Is there any children's respite care locally? Either social care, primary healthcare? Are there medical needs that need to be met? Tube feeding?

Social care should be sorting this out for you

I would ring around local care agencies that provide paediatric cover. It depends on the level of care though whether a carer would be sufficient, or if you require a registered childrens nurse with trache/PEG/catheter skills etc.

Possibly an advert on your local nextdoor.com, or RCN magazine/website, but without an agency, I'm unsure how insurance would work? You might some willing to provide more regular help, not just 1-2 times a year. Best of luck OP and I hope you find some support very soon.

@Nongatron thanks have contacted some private care agencies. I have to admit I thought they would all only provide services for elderly people.

@Jofergo my family don't live nearby. My parents are getting older and struggle with my son as he is basically a 3 year old in the body of a 13 year old with all the tantrums, lack of self control, lack of sense of danger, random flight behaviour etc but much bigger and stronger. My brothers don't visit often enough to get a handle on him. It would really need comitting to regular visits say once a month and neither can do that.

Social care should be sorting this but there is nothing available locally. As far as I know we are on a waiting list for residential care on occasional weekends but tbh he would much prefer for someone to come to our house and then he can stay somewhere familiar. I have been told that the waiting list could be up to a year.