CM CLUB: Disciplining Other People's Children - Do you use 123?

[nannynick]

This term I'm determined to have the children under control. I've known about 123 Magic in the past, and used my own variation of it. But this time I'm sticking as closely as possible to how it is done in the book.
It's the beginning of week 2 and I'm already getting some success with 3 year old, who will stop 'stop behaviour' at the count of 1, or 2. Didn't get a 3 at all today. Older sibling, age 4, got to 3 today at breakfast - and mum was present, so always hard to deal with difficult behaviour with a parent present. But it worked... 4 year old was great afterwards, with only a little reminder just before teatime (behaviour gets worse when she's hungry).

Anyone else use 1-2-3 method?

I use 321 54321 or 1098etc321

Depending on how important/urgent it is

I always start at the top & work down because people use different time scales so don't know if you are going to stop at 3 or 5 or 10

Whereas they all know where 1 is and can anticipate how long they have

But mine isn't out a book & maybe different as it's what my Mum used when I was little

Hiya Nick, how you doin'.

I've had a quick think, and I don't actively use 1 2 3, I use more of the broken record technique, ie 'time to put shoes on, oh where are they, gosh that's one on'.

I also tend to say 'focus' to the mindees because they are so easily distracted. Sometimes works, but then I am very relaxed and go at their pace most of the time

Tell me more about 1 2 3 ?

Katy, I think what you use is a way of getting children to do a particular task in a timely manner. For example putting on shoes.

The 1..2..3 I'm talking about is for what is known as Stop Behaviour. Things like, throwing food, refusal to sit at the table for breakfast.

The child does something which they know from past experience is not permitted / discouraged. They are testing to see if it is still not permitted. You say "that's 1" then wait 5 seconds... if the child stops what they are doing, all is well. If they continue, then you say "that's 2" and wait another 5 seconds. This waiting time gives the child a chance to think about what they are doing. Then it's "that' 3 take 3" - which means 3 minutes timeout for the child.
Children quickly pick up on the fact that at 3 there is a consequence - timeout, loss of a privilege, local consequence.

Thank you Nick

I use a variation on 1,2,3 I.E firstly I ask them to stop throwing/sit at table etc, then I go on to ask them again stating that if I have to tell them again they go to the thinking step/chair/whatever I decide to use that day and then if I have to tell them the third time they are removed straight away. It seems to work effectively as I don't have to go beyond the first request (meany!)

I'm not very good at it yet... I tend to ask nicely, before counting 1. I also tend to speak after saying "that's 1" and you aren't meant to. Note to self: must try harder to not talk once "that's 1" has been said.

This may explain 123Magic a little better

Will admit that it doesn't work on one partic child, this child is only allowed a count of two otherwise would carry on doing just because they can!

That's really interesting nick, I've not seen that before.

If my charges are misbehaving I do say, I'll count to three, and if I have to get to three I'll get cross. Actually they're very good kids generally and I've not had to get to three and "get cross" yet. I'm not sure exactly what "getting cross" will entail to be honest!!!

The 2 year old has started counting to three recently when her 5 year old brother is annoying her

I don't use it with my mindee as he's not a year yet I would use it with older mindees if i had them though as its been very successful with my own children.

I count to 3 with my ds and have done for quite a while. People ask what happens when I get to 3 but I don't really know because it doesn't happen. I don't think ds knows either but it certainly distracts him from whatever he shouldn't be doing!!!

Don't use it with mindees as I don't have any at the mo !

Thats a great link thanks Nick..I always do this as a habit, but I'd not really understood the psychology behind it until I read that.

Jenna

Sorry to hijack this thread a little bit -but could you all do me a favour if poss pls

Pls Pls Pls can you all join me in nagging my sis Dusty star to apply for a job at the Wessex Autistic Society - she would be so so right for the roles they have but lacks the confidence to apply,as has not been in this sort of work for many years. Although looking after Nick every day gives her more expereince in her little finger than any one else applying. So pls nag her into doing it or the masters degree she has just passed and worked so hard for, will be a total waste of time. Oh and she would be brilliant at the job and could really help some of the kiddies there.

Nag away ladies - lets get her to apply xx