Lax handwashing - how to approach parent...

[AskABusyPerson]

...had realised farily early on that new school run mindee (aged 5) who started in Sept last year would consistently forget to wash her hands after going to toilet (she usually goes in there for a while after breakfast iyswim). I would always have to remind her (my own dd started too as well!). The other day my dd was in cloakroom brushing teeth before school and mindee wanted to go to toilet so went in there too. I heard my dd remind her to wash hands and then heard dd say 'use soap!'. So I asked mindee when she came out if she'd washed her hands - 'yes', used soap? - yes but only cos said to. Do you normally use soap I ask - no, don't usually wash hands says mindee. Bleurgh was all I could think, not only has mindee unlikely to have washed hands at all after toilet unless I happened to notice she'd gone to toilet and reminded her, but when she had washed she'd not used soap.

How on earth to bring up with the parent???!!! I know some people probably aren't as particular as me but I would be amazed if the family advocate no washing at all!!

as a parent that uses a CM and is hoping to become one soonish I would just mention in passing kind of casual..'oh X seems to forget to wash her hands what do you do at home to remind her to?' this will show that it is expected that hands are washed after loo, before meals etc etc ..inform them that mindee isn't doing it ..without outright accusing them of being gross by asking' do you wash your hands in your house????' ..
Good Luck, think the dealing with this kind of thing must be hard..

Good idea

Also teach child i great detail about germs & how they poop everywhere & how washing hands get rid of the poop - 5yo's like that one

I agree about 5 year olds being obsessed with all things toilet/germy.

Good idea to raise with parents in the right way.

Can mindee read? If so could you put up a wee laminated reminder in the bathroom like they put in schools ?

HTH

If a bot remember to say the germs kiss then get married & have babies & the babies poop too

It's the kissing that normally gets them washing their hands

maybe you don't need to mention it - if you remind her constantly surely it'll become second nature to her eventually - though i think you can take it too far as my dd proved when she washed her hands so thouroughly and soo often that she got really dry cracked hands so badly that they bled

Not sure what to suggest really - we've always instilled into the DS's that they HAVE to wash their hands (with soap) EVERY time they use the toilet.........DS1 is now 7 - and remembers most of the time - but DS2 (4 - but been using the toilet for AGES now) often still forgets......

Agree with twofishes re comments to the parent. I got my dd and friends in a better routine of washing hands by putting a really nice liquid soap in a dispenser and now they make quite a ritual of using it and checking how lovely their hands smell. Not sure this will work with ds when he's old enough to do it himself - suspect that boys might do the opposite and create a ritual around how disgusting their hands smell .

mumemma - DS1 loves liquid soap too, and has a kandoo dispenser downstairs. Smells awful IMO, but at least he's washing his hands!

With all the bugs at the moment you could be forgiven for saying to all parents that you are being extra vigilant with hand hygiene to try & reduce the chance of getting/passing on anything- "in case X mentions it when your washing hands at home"

Thanks for all the replies, I'll try twofishes approach! I already have nice liquid soap and a laminated sign re washing hands and colourful towels with characters eg cat, dog, duck on!

Mindee seemed to understand when I explained about germs and how they can spread not only from using toilet but eg sneezing and blowing nose etc.

PS Good luck in setting up as CM twofishes, I find mumsnet invaluable for tips/advice and wish I'd known about it when I set up 3 years ago!

Well, I needn't have worried! Despite mindee giving me the impression that she never washes her hands at home and if she does she doesn't use soap, I mentioned to Mum that I was having to remind mindee to wash hands, what do they do at home to remind her type thing and Mum said Oh yes she is often reluctant to wash hands and we usually have to remind her to do so!! Phew!

Thanks hopefully be registered by end of 2008.....glad it all got sorted out

lots of 5-6 yr olds forget IME

I suspect my DD of doing it as defiance - a little secret disobedience which I will never discover (she thinks!) - and she definitely fibs to me when I ask her whether she has washed her hands.

Discuss with parents as per others suggestions. I would take a photo of her washing her hands and use this along with the words remember to wash hands as a sign, others can do similar for other things like hang up coats etc. Great reminder and fun too!