Childcare for Shift Workers

[LittleSid]

I'm a shiftworker for the NHS. I've been working full time for years and while I'm new to this position, I love my job and have busted my ass to get here but here's the thing - I wasn't meant to be doing this alone. Ex partner left when I was offered the uni place (2018) after 7y together and while there were a lot of people that were offering help and support and the "you've got this" comments at the time - don't get me wrong, I appreciated every single individual that had faith in me - I have never felt as alone as I do now.
My oldest DD (21) moved to uni herself last year and is doing amazing, but she used to help a lot and DS dotes on her, as she does him. I have a middle child (17), but they are doing college and working too, so not inclined to help so much with DS. They do the drop off and collections when they can and the occasional dinner. That's about as much as I dare ask for fear that all hell will break loose. My sister and best friend are local and help when they can, but I'm often left floundering until the last minute and I'm starting to feel like I'm taking the biscuit.
I have a childminder setting. I'm not a massive fan of them as individuals but;

1. I have no other choice locally and 2. DS (8) seems to be happy there. They do the standard 8am - 5.30, with school runs and snacks, Monday to Friday.

DS' father moved away in 2020 and isn't proactive at all. I end up talking to his missus (who has 4 of her own) about contact and DS staying over. They live about 3-4 hours away so you can imagine the costs.... I feel utterly selfish for wanting to keep my dream job, I've studied and worked so, so hard to get here and I don't want to give up now. Does anyone have any ideas that may help me cover overnights and weekends please?

Depending on area are there any childminders etc who offer overnight or weekends? My old area used to have a couple of places like this (hospital and airport shift workers used it). Think there was a means of searching on Childcare.Co.Uk for that.

Depending on what your role is, could you move into non-shift work until your child is older? I know several midwives who switched to things like working on weekly specialist obstetric clinics etc because of childcare issues - all things that basically ran between 9am and 5pm. They earned less but it made the rest of life doable.

I'd do a sideways move in a similar field for the next 4 years with the plan if moving back over when ds is older.

Do nurseries local to the hospital open at 6.30? Might solve the issue in the morning.

I've looked into o/n minders and there don't seem to ve any local to me and the only one who covers DS school is the one we're with.
With regards to changing the job, I'm thinking I have to look into it but I'm not optimistic about how it gonna work out. 😔

Also single parent with 4 kids and nurse. And no, I’ve never found anything
ended up going part time and then into a community team which I don’t like it’s still a juggle sadly.

Can you go part time? What about outpatients?

Childcare.co.uk is fab I used it to cover my nights until I found a new job role... took me a while to adjust but I now love outpatients and going to bed at 10pm is bliss!

I'm a newly qualified paramedic so not attached to any particular hospital. Also means that I don't always get off on time. I'm just so frustrated at the moment. X

A nanny might be an option but they’d be expensive

Community nursing job ? A few of my colleagues have left to do community because of childcare if I'm desperate in future I might do the same.

Just saw you're a paramedic sorry!! You might consider an aupair as your DS is 8 so doesn't need lots of hands on care. We have a paramedic who teaches us clinical practice skills at our university maybe think of doing something like that in future? The hours are much more family friendly.

One of my friends is a paramedic and has switched to a role in a GP surgery - it seems to be some kind of triage, dealing with stuff that needs some expertise and qualifications but not a doctor to take the pressure off the rest of the surgery. She works only weekdays and it's within daytime hours so no evenings, nights or weekends. Is there anything like that available where you are?

I imagine with the shortages of paramedics it wouldn't be too difficult to shift back again once your child is older?

if you have the space than an au-pair might work? an 8 year doesnt need much actual care eg can have a shower/ brush thier own teeth. can get dressed so might only need some help with buttons etc?
would mean that you have someone living in your house all the time though. could you offer to pay your sister etc for childcare - a token amount might make you feel less of an inconvenience?

Is there any way you can ask for regular shifts? So still overnights and long days, but it might be easier to find cover for every Monday and Tuesday night rather than random days changing weekly.

Mother’s help or sitter might be easier to find than a childminder with extended hours, and if you’re lucky you might find one who would do some light housework at the same time, and who would be able to take your child to evening clubs as he gets older too.

Congrats on qualifying, fellow paramedic!

Could you ask for a flexible or family friendly rota? Annualised hours? Working more lates or days only etc? Or shorter shifts/more days in?
Work out your own rota so between you and your other children and CM you could have it covered? I know it's a big ask of your older children but it's not forever.
SMT/HR can't really refuse a flexible working request if it's for childcare issues.
I assume you will be on the newer section 2 contract, so I understand that you need to keep your US hours up.

Im part time currently on annualised hours as we have no child care - my husband is also in the service so whilst we have childcare covered between us we rarely see each other (secret of a good marriage?!)

Would you have space for an Au Pair?

What are your shifts

how many over nights v days

how often do they change

odd overnight then 17yd can look after ds

are you near a college. Maybe a student who can stay the night

or as others said to get more regulated shifts so know what nights are working

I'm on relief atm so I'm not sure. Literally been in the job 5 mins and I don't want to sound whingy...I'll ask tho but yeah, I'm on the new contract. X

I'm a district nurse and a neighbouring team took on a paramedic recently.

I'm still in my NQP (Newly Qualified Paramedic) phase so Band 5 atm. In order for me to progress outside of my current role, I need to be 2 years post qualification and a Band 6 to get anywhere.
I'm still looking for childcare options but have been day dreaming of a lottery win. A business venture of a 24/7 ofsted registered childcare facility that would be attached to an NHS setting, allowing parents to return to work, fully supported and with professional subsidised childcare in place. It would increase jobs, increase the NHS workforce and support those who support us.
A utopian pipe dream I know, don't judge me lol.
Thank you all for your ideas and taking the time to post. Maybe life will be different one day. X

@LittleSid : where do you live and work? I'm looking at mutual overnight "sleepover childcare", I wonder wether we have hope with fixed days?
We're in Brixton and have space (au pairs are an option but hard to find and kids area tad too small for someone inexperienced)
I'm in a very similar position as OC pay for nights is 13£ and no one will watch my 2 y.o. toddlers for even twice as much (only paid night rate if called out)...I really resent having to job hunt and /or downband and think there MUST be a way to buddy up.
Good luck, I hope to hear from you