Should I confront??

[chel86]

I used to mind 3 sisters and they left in November when their mum lost her job. Not once while the girls were in my care were any issues brought up. The girls were all very happy; smiles when they can through the door, hugs when they left for the day. I always kept them entertained, well fed, took them on outings etc. I had no complaints.

When mother lost her job she said she was desperately looking for another and hoped I would still have spaces for them when she did. We still spoke at the school etc.

Now she doesn't even look my way. And on two occasions now I have been told that the girls have been telling people that they "are never ever ever going back again. She was a rubbish chidminder and she didn't look after me properly"! These cannot be the words of a 5/6 year old surely???

The girls used to say hello to me and give me big smiles and tell me their news when I bumped in to them at school. Now they daren't look in my direction. What's going on??

Should I confront the mother, in a non-confrontationly and civil way?? This is my business and livelihood and reputation. Anyone who knows me knows it's not true, but what about the people who don't know me? How do I go about this? Is this the reason I've had hardly any calls recently and still have not filled their spaces?

Advice please!!!

Yes, I'd definitely take this up with the mother. Damaging your reputation is very serious - maybe she hasn't thought of it in those terms. Possibly she's too embarrassed to admit she couldn't afford childcare and is trying to cover up?

yes i think you should definately speak to the mum about it - when it comes down to it c/minding is all down to reputation and this is spoiling yours - why not just give her a ring and write down what you want to say so you don't come off the phone annoyed at what you didn't say to her

I'm going to confront her. I thought about asking her for a reference?? To open up the subject. Then if she gives me a good reference then I can ask why these things are being said, and if she refuses then I can ask why. I think she needs to know that her rumours can be really damaging.

godd idea to start discussion with references. It may be true that she is covering up and doesn't want to admit she lost job, perhaps it all started when some asked why she stopped working and the first thing she could think of was to say she wasn't happy with childminder.

That's a good approach chel86, read this quickly earlier and as someone who hates confrontation I did wonder how you would bring it up!

It must be upsetting for you. I had a mum get the sack from work, she told her son I was too expensive rather than tell him she wasn't going to work anymore. (I charge £2.50p.h!!) I don't understand it - even a small child can be told a simple version of events without resorting to lies.

Hope you clear the air with her.

sounds to me like the children wanted to come back and mum has said you 'wont' / 'cant' have them back or maybe they miss you and she doesnt like that and has said "whyb would you want to go there when im here..she blah blah blah(lies to children)"???

def take it up with her..good idea asking for refeerence

Thanks. I'll probably see her at the school this afternoon (although it does seem she's trying to avoid me there at the mo!) so I'll bring it up then and let you know how it goes!

I would ask if you could have a word and ask her when she said she hoped there would be spaces for her DDs did she mean it? Now she is apparently slagging you off and making the girls say things too. You have to speak to her, it is not fair.

Well, just saw her at the school and said hello. Asked her if she could give me a reference and she seemed happy to. Said she would e-mail one over to me. When I've got it, will read what it says and then ask her about what's been said. I'll just tell her I'm a bit concerned about it etc etc.

I know she's not one for confrontation either, so it didn't suprise me that she was nice as pie today! But these comments that have been said have to stop, so will still be asking her about it once I've got the ref.

I think you have handled it really well. I'd be so upset if I heard things like that at least you know it's not true, still it's hard enough to get customers when you have a good rep/ aren't well known. I've got what I consider to be a fairly good reputation and people still tell me they are cautious about leaving their children with a childminder they don't know etc though it makes me feel special that they have chosen me regardless of that pov its still hits home that is why we don't get more calls. and for you, i hope you manage to get to the bottom of this.