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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Newborn childminder vs nursery??

68 replies

pinacolada22 · 21/05/2022 22:26

I have been working from home with my baby girl since she was 5 days old. She's 10 weeks now and I am in desperate need of childcare! I am not sure what would be better for: a child minder or nursery? She has never been around other children, and is only really familiar with myself as I don't have close family/friends around.

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backgroundingo · 22/05/2022 09:41

I personally think you will struggle to find a child minder who will take under age 1.

Did you look into maternity allowance? MA. Are you self employed / freelance or an employee of a company ?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 22/05/2022 09:50

I personally think you will struggle to find a child minder who will take under age 1.

Not at all! Most children that go to a childminder are under to start with.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 22/05/2022 09:50

*under 1

mnahmnah · 22/05/2022 09:51

@backgroundingo

Both of mine started at a childminder from 5 months

Moancup · 22/05/2022 09:56

It sounds like you are employed? You are entitled to maternity leave. You may also be entitled to maternity allowance. Please get some proper advice because I think you’re ignoring some important options. I’m horrified you were working after five days.

JanglyBeads · 22/05/2022 10:09

RTFT

Moancup · 22/05/2022 11:49

Is that aimed at me? The OP has updated to say she has a job but isn’t entitled to “maternity”. That’s just not true.

Abcdefu · 22/05/2022 11:55

pinacolada22 · 21/05/2022 23:03

@underneaththeash I appreciate that, and trust me, I've had all the same thoughts. But due to financial reasons, I cannot get a nanny. I am not entitled to maternity as I hadn't worked for the required weeks. For context, I was at uni when I became pregnant and her dad was financially supporting me at the time and up until the end of my pregnancy. He went MIA shortly before I gave birth. So I'm really trying to make the best out of a difficult situation. My only options are : quit my job or childcare. Both have their pros and cons but after a lot of thought, I would like to find childcare. It will only be for 2 days a week, because I don't want her forgetting about me!

Speak with a benefits advisor,at the very least you should be entitled to stat maternity pay I think that is 600 per month. You will never get this time back,look after yourself

Original poster
pinacolada22 · 22/05/2022 12:36

@Abcdefu I've had a look on entitled and they would give me around 500 if I wasn't working. I could probably manage if I budgeted tightly, however that would mess up my plans to rent privately. I'm currently in temporary accommodation which is awful for so many reasons, so my job is the only way out of here.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinacolada22 · 22/05/2022 12:47

@PrettyPlatapus Thankyou for your lovely message. Will baby mind the cold milk from the fridge? (I'm pretty sure mine isn't cold!) I'm honestly amazed I've made it this far tbh, everyday I'm in survival mode. Sadly quitting my job is not a good option because I wont be able to rent privately without it. I am trying to look after myself when I can, and have booked 2 weeks off work in August for me and baby to go Croatia so its not all bad. Also very happy about the bank holiday coming up!
I hope you and bubba are good. Maybe you could try leaving baby for an hour or two first, so the 4 hour stretch won't be as difficult.

OP posts:
Simonjt · 22/05/2022 13:08

ah, mumsnet, where being wealthy enough to have a nanny or having enough £££ in the bank not to work is completely normal.

Childminders are generally cheaper and more flexible than nursery, so often if you don’t need a day but give adequate notice you won’t be charged, depending on your arrangement.

jannier · 22/05/2022 13:47

thebabynanny · 22/05/2022 08:41

I would go for a childminder. No, baby won't get 1:1 attention but then my 3rd child didn't get 1:1 attention either and she seems to have survived!

A childminder will have one baby and then a couple of other preschoolers, and might do have some school age children before and after school. The experience is definitely very much like a "busy family" and actually I think that's a lovely experience for an only child. Your baby will have a close relationship with a special adult who becomes like an auntie figure, and bigger children to watch and play with. Then can come home and get 1:1 attention from you.

Exactly this.

Babies always know their mummy op so don't be scared of that. It is just like leaving them with aunty for 2 days a week. Don't let others make you feel guilty. Until very recently it was normal to be back at work at 12 weeks most parents on here will have had this as babies. How many are suffering now?

PeterpiperpickedapeckofpickledPEPPAS · 22/05/2022 13:53

Hi OP.
If working and using some childcare is what’s going to work best for you, don’t feel guilty about it. In France standard maternity leave is 15 weeks - 5 before the due date and 10 after. Many many women have to use childcare from that point onwards.
Equally if you want to take more time off and it’s financially doable, you absolutely can delay your return for a few weeks of months.
I’d go for a childminder in this situation.

JanglyBeads · 22/05/2022 13:59

Apologies @Moancup, I had misread a PP I think.

drpet49 · 22/05/2022 14:04

I would rather quit my job than put a 10 week old baby into childcare. Far too young for childcare.

Simonjt · 22/05/2022 14:06

drpet49 · 22/05/2022 14:04

I would rather quit my job than put a 10 week old baby into childcare. Far too young for childcare.

So you’d rather be homeless and unable to feed yourself or your child, seems like a fairly poor decision.

AlternativePerspective · 22/05/2022 14:15

Thing is OP if you’re only working two days a week then you would likely be better off on benefits.

Two days childcare isn’t going to be sustainable if you’re working full-time. In another couple of months your baby isn’t going to be sleeping as much,by 6/7 months she may be crawling, working with a baby just isn’t possible after about 6 months, so although you’re looking at just 2 days childcare now, that will need to increase to 5 days in a couple of months so that cost is going to increase significantly.

I would seriously speak to someone from CAB or DWP to see whether you would in fact be better off claiming benefits at this point in time, and then look at childcare a bit further down the line.

autienotnaughty · 22/05/2022 14:37

Cherrysherbet · 21/05/2022 23:05

No way would I leave such a young baby with either. She’s not going to get the individual attention that she needs.

I just couldn’t do it.

Yes because we all have the same 24 hours in a day 🙄

Original poster
pinacolada22 · 22/05/2022 14:55

@AlternativePerspective I'm working mon-fri 30 hours, with a lot of flexibility so I manage to do most my work when she's content or sleeping. The 2 days a week would mean I can do a big chunk of my work when she's in childcare and have more quality time with my baby and (sleep!) You make a good point tho about her growth etc, and as she gets older I will try adjust things accordingly.
Still don't believe I am better off not working, although I am going to see if I'm eligible for childcare funding as I'm aware the gov can help with that.

OP posts:
MajorCarolDanvers · 22/05/2022 15:06

@pinacolada22 Do I need to get a warmer or something to keep them fresh? or can the pumped bottles just go in a bag and be okay for the day

A bottle of expressed milk will keep in the fridge for 7 days
It can be warmed by being placed in a jug of warm water. You need

Pump
Steriliser
Bottles
Milk bags - these are useful for storing milk until you have enough for a bottle. These can be frozen as well.

breatheintheamazing · 22/05/2022 15:30

Ignore those that say "they couldn't do it" sometimes in life you have to make hard choices and i applaud you for the steps you've already taken in working and supporting yourself and not being a statistic.

It's hard leaving such a young child but all
Mine were in full time childcare from 20 weeks. I would only use a childminder at that age. My twins have a ratio of one adult to 3 children and honestly such a young baby doesn't need loads of 1-2-1 time - they mostly sleep, eat, back to sleep.

I'd pump and take it in bottles. The childminder will warm them

luckylavender · 22/05/2022 16:08

I'll go against the grain here. My DC went to Nursery at 16 weeks full time. I chose Nursery because I didn't want him having a substitute Mum and I could be franker with Nursery than with a childminder who had more experience than a First time Mum. It worked perfectly. DC very happy until he went to preschool at just gone 3.

jannier · 22/05/2022 19:11

backgroundingo · 22/05/2022 09:41

I personally think you will struggle to find a child minder who will take under age 1.

Did you look into maternity allowance? MA. Are you self employed / freelance or an employee of a company ?

I've had one at 4 weeks

CucumberCool · 22/05/2022 19:16

@pinacolada22 Milk can be given at room temp but not from the fridge. It lasts longer if not warmed (I think- do double check!) Xx

jannier · 22/05/2022 19:24

luckylavender · 22/05/2022 16:08

I'll go against the grain here. My DC went to Nursery at 16 weeks full time. I chose Nursery because I didn't want him having a substitute Mum and I could be franker with Nursery than with a childminder who had more experience than a First time Mum. It worked perfectly. DC very happy until he went to preschool at just gone 3.

Thats really honest of you, I think its a factor for many. I reality baby always knows who's mummy the childminder is more like an auntie. In a nursery they never know who is going to be picking them up or feeding them. Which is why they normally settle much quicker with a childminder. The right person would never talk down to you