Childminder's Club: When they don't want to go home

[KangaMummy]

Today CMB {age 2} and I were playing out in the front garden with bike and ball. Which we do nearly every day as the back garden is a hill.

{btw we have a very long drive and a large carpark so is very safe}

We are quite often playing out there when his mum arrives. Today when his mum arrived he didn't want to go home.

I said to him was he going to show her the Bob the builder pictures he had done. I had put them and his bags in my car which is next to hers in car park, {to mean that we don't have to go all the way back to the house.}

So we went to my car and got everything out and then he ran back to the bike.

All he wanted to do was carry on playing with the bike and ball.

She picked him up and he struggled she said "where is my kiss and cuddle?" {She is pregnant 5 months}He wasn't interested

She had put a gingerbread man in his bag and so she gave it to him to get him in the car.

I think it is good that he wants to stay here and play but I don't want her to feel upset that he doesn't want to go home with her.

I can't really prepare exactly for her arrival it is between 1.20pm and 2pm.

Does anyone have the same situation?

What do you do?

I use the 'if you go now with out making a fuss you can come back tomorrow/next week/never?' version.

And remember to tell Mum that this is a normal reaction to haveing a good time not a reflection on his view of her

That is what we said

That "you can come and play with the bike on Wednesday" and that I was going to put it safely by the back door.

I felt so sad for her

Did she feel bad?

do you know that she was upset? Maybe she was glad to find that he'd been having such a great time. That's how I generally feel when I pick ds up from nursery and he doesn't want to come - glad that he's got such great childcare.

She didn't say anything

Apart from "where's my kiss and cuddle?"

She was talking to him about the bike and the ball, his pictures,

And trying to get him into the car.

I was embarressed as he just wanted to play and then she ended up giving him the gingerbread man.

It was just that she has to bribe him to go home with her, I feel for her as

I would feel very jealous if it happened to me.

KM, it's so sweet that you're worried. I've had this happen to me (as a parent -- hope I'm not out of line posting here) and it reassured me that I had made the right choice in childcare for my son. It was with a nanny, not a childminder, but I think the same thing holds.

He still asks for her and I don't blame him! She was amazing. It's great that someone who helped me out so much had such a good impact on my son.

Thanks KMc, phatcat, and JJ for your kind thoughts and posts.

I will see what happens on Wednesday.

I do think it is good that he wants to be here, but I wish that he would react differently when his mummy wants to go home.

He is pleased to see her but then wants to play for longer.

Actually that sounds a bit muddled

What I mean is he is pleased when she drives into the car park, but then wants to play and not be cuddled or go home etc.

I'd second what Phatcat says. Funnily enough, I'm having a dilemma atm about whether to get a childminder of nursery for DD, as I've decided not to have an au-pair again after christmas. I'd almost decided on a structured environment of nursery or playgroup, until I went to see a childminder today and immediately felt comfortable on walking into her house. When DD said (after about an hour or so of us chatting and playing with the kids) that she didn't want to go home because she was playing, I thought that was a great sign, and in fact it's changed my mind - I now think maybe it's a bit too early for her to have a structured environment full time and if there's such a nice childminder with whom she feels so comfortable, then that might be the best solution.

So I honestly wouldn't worry. I'd be delighted if my DD didn't want to come home. It means she's happy.

Thanks Caligula, perhaps I was worrying too much.

Sorry to butt in girls!!
Was on the other night, trying to find good au-pair agency. Looked at great au-pairs(if there is such a thing!).com but found the site quite hard to navigate through. Did you part with cash on this site?

Copey I don't understand the question

Caligula recommended great au-pairs.com as a good site for au-pair agencies. I looked at this site and found it quite hard to navigate around. I was wondering if anyone had actually used it and if they signed up as a member and paid a fee for the privilidge? Would you recommend any other agencies?

No

am a childminder

so no need for au pair

perhaps post again starting a new thread you may get answer