Informal childminding by friend - seeking advice

[Kerelene]

My 2.5 year old has been at home with her dad for past 3 months but he's now got a job, thankfully.

A local mum with a daughter the same age has very kindly offered to look after DD for the 3 days I work and told me to pay her what I want. I'm delighted as I was having trouble finding a suitable CM close by and this lady is v friendly, caring, flexible and my DD loves playing with her DD. If it works out for us both we'll try to get them into the same session at preschool.

My concern is:
This lady has her TV on a lot (mostly cable cable channels which are sometimes unsuitable for kids even during the day) and also her 3 kids have quite a lot of sweets, biscuits, not-very-well-diluted squash etc. Whereas we usually limit TV, sweets and biscuits. My friend knows this but says in her culture they are less strict with kids and she finds it hard to say no. But I think she's willing to try and follow my requests, but I don't feel I can be too demanding as she is not a professional CM. Eg I can't ask her not to give her own kid biscuits and if her DD has some mine will naturally have them too.

I realise that I have to accept these things to some extent but can anyone advise how I can try to ensure my wishes are at least partly met? I have thought of providing healthier snacks for the kids to share - altho I suspect they might prefer the choc biscuits!

Also, I will have to find cover for about 5 weeks in the summer when my friend goes back to her home country, is it likely I will find a CM or other carer who would be prepared to take my DD for this period?

Thanks for any advice.

unless she is registered as a childminder with ofsted then it is illegal to pay her.

If she is looking after your child for more than 2 hours a day then it is a legal requirement that she is a registered childminder and she is breaking the law to care for your child otherwise. Also CM are only registered to look after 3 children under 5 so if her 3 are under 5 she wouldn't be able to care for your dd even if she got herself registered.

If you choose to go down the route of letting this woman care for your child as an unregistered child minder then i'm afriad you have no way of ensuring your requests are met and will have to rely on her. My SIL used to care for dd and i know she gave her choc and sweets although she always denied it.

Its your decision but if i was you I'd look at registered minders in the area.

Oh I see you are having problems finding a minder. To answer your last question then i think you will most likely find it very difficult to find someone to mind your child for those 5 weeks - especially as you say you have struggled to find one so far.

I think you would be far better finding a CM who will not only mind your child, but respect your wishes re nutritious food and no TV, nonwithstanding the legality of it

also, CMs go through lots of OFSTED paperwork, training and inspection and very often have things like first aid training, which means you are getting good all round care

and often arrangements with friends can create more problems than they solve

Message withdrawn

Would she consider registering? If she's fully registered it will make it easier for you to express your wishes.

You could both be in trouble whether you pay her or not unless:

• she is a close relative
• its less than 2 hours a day
• its less than 6 days a year or
• the childcare is in the child's home

If she chooses to register you may be eligible for financial help from childcare element of tax credits or you may be able to pay her with childcare vouchers from your employer. You'll both have the benefit of her being insured and first aid trained and you'll also have the assurance of the crb & medical checks etc.

Re summer - you might be able to book some dates with a childminder whose minded children are on holiday or who has a term-time only child.

Wow, what a minefield. Thanks for all the responses. She's not very keen to register as she just wants to do it informally. Her other kids are over 5.

There are CMs in the area but not that close to my home. Apart from the logistics of dropping off and picking up whilst trying to get to work on public transport, I also need someone who is prepared to take/collect DD from preschool when she starts (maybe in Sept) which is unlikely if they are the other side of town, esp if they have other school runs...

My last CM was great, but she gave me notice as she got a job supporting other childminders in the area.

I don't know what to do!

Could you have someone look after your child in your own home, i.e. a p/t nanny or a nanny share?

Really, you can't use your friend as she's not registered and therefore illegal. Not helpful I am sure, sorry

Could you have someone look after your child in your own home, i.e. a p/t nanny or a nanny share?

Really, you can't use your friend as she's not registered and therefore illegal. Not helpful I am sure, sorry

oops sorry for double post!

The term after your daughter is three you will get childcare vouchers for her which can only be used at a registered childcare place so she will in fact be costing you more money, also if you don't have a formal contract she could decide to stop looking after your dd without giving you any notice.

A nanny share is a good idea, but I have always thought a nanny would be out of our budget. Maybe I should check it out. It would be great to have someone come to our home.

But we have a very small flat - literally no room to swing a cat! - but if the nanny was just coming for the day rather than living in, I guess that wouldn't be a problem.

Does anyone know what nanny shares tend to cost and how to go about finding a part-time nanny?

Would she be able to look after your DD at your house?

I would be very concerned about leaving your DD with someone who isnt registered because, as others have already said, it is illegal. What if someone rings up on you both? You could both end up in trouble! Also a registered CM has to have first aid training and CRB check so you know they are trustworthy people and trained to deal in an emergancy.