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Ds started nursery today. Should I have said goodbye to him?

15 replies

yogimum · 08/01/2008 17:51

I left quietly before he noticed but when I was in the office I could hear him crying. I felt a bit guilty but didn't want to go back in. Is it best I say goodbye first? He is nearly 18 months.

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tangent · 08/01/2008 17:58

DS had his first day at nursery today also. But he's 3, so maybe different, at 3 he was glad to see the back of me. But I've always made a point of saying goodbye, telling him i love him and will be back soon. I figure it's nicer if they understand that you left instead of feeling a bit panicked at 'where did she go?'. I don't know if it makes a difference but you might feel better.

Niecie · 08/01/2008 17:59

Hi there, I think in general it is best to say a very quick goodbye, quick kiss and leave. It is better if they know you have gone rather than just leaving them and then have them wondering where you are.

Don't worry about though, they usually get over it very quickly and I am sure the nursery knew what to do to make him feel better.

Whooosh · 08/01/2008 18:05

I always make a point of saying goodbye to dd-even if it does casue tears for the same reason as tangent.I don't want her thinking that I may just "disappear" at any time.

TellusMater · 08/01/2008 18:08

I think different children respond differently. I know my DS needed a clear "goodbye" whereas my DD was actually better just getting stuck straight in.

princessmel · 08/01/2008 18:10

I think saying goodbye is the best idea too.

I know ds always liked to know exactly what was going to happen. They both like me to 'tell them the day' in bed in the morning. I have to do a 'voice' with one of their teddies and talk them through whats going to happen that day.

oliviaelanasmum · 08/01/2008 18:23

DD2 had her first day today too, she is 2 and actually asked me to leave! I was worried it was all going to be too much as she only started toilet training last friday, but she really enjoyed it and didn't have any accidents!

yogimum · 08/01/2008 18:28

Well he cried for a few minutes apparently and then was fine. He had a lovely afternoon. I'm going to see how it goes then maybe go for another day aswell. There was only three of them in the baby room this afternoon and two cares so lots of attention.

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yogimum · 08/01/2008 18:28

carers.

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FrannyandZooey · 08/01/2008 18:29

If you don't say goodbye, then your child is left with the impression that you could disappear at any moment

it seems a totally odd thing to do IMO

yogimum · 08/01/2008 18:41

I told them to ring me if he was too upset. Either way he was going to cry, I was trying to make it easier for the staff but will say goodbye in future.

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yogimum · 08/01/2008 18:50

thanks for all your opinions, its much appreciated.

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southernbelle77 · 08/01/2008 18:50

I have done both with dd! When she was younger and went to nursery (she started at 9 months) there were times when it was best just to leave so I wouldn't say goodbye as I knew it would leave her crying her eyes out. But, I always hated not saying goodbye so would say it's not the best option.
Now she is older and at preschool (she left nursery before starting preschool) we always say goodbye and have a kiss but she is always very eager for me to leave!!
Do you what you think is best but if he is going to get upset either way then I would say it's best to say goodbye and that you will be back in a short time so he knows where you are.
Good luck.

FlameNFurter · 08/01/2008 19:02

I would say goodbye from now on.

I remember sneaking out of somewhere once and returning (I wa sonly gone 20 mins or so) to find child had been crying the full time because they turned and couldn't find me

yogimum · 08/01/2008 19:44

I leave him with his granny and he doesn't bat an eyelid when I go out. He loves his granny.

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maximummummy · 08/01/2008 21:37

yep i would definately say goodbye and say i would come back soon

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