AIBU - Nanny sick leave

[UnsavySaville]

Hi!

First time poster and first nanny employer so looking for some context.

Our NWOC has been with us just over 6 months. She has a annualised contract with 6hr/day in term time and 11hr/day in holiday 4 days/week; Avg working week 29hrs
Within that time she has had 9 days (sometimes whole day sometimes part day) or 61hrs off for her or her child's illness all of which we have paid. [equivalent to 7.5day of 8 hrs]
Additionally she has taken 4 weeks annual leave directly followed by 3 weeks unpaid leave when she informed us via text she was not returning from abroad due unforeseen circumstances. i.e 7 consecutive weeks

We have asked her some additional hours in lieu of those paid (18hrs).

We have been clear that with our jobs we can accommodate illness for full pay, if she can accommodate some flexibility when we need to make it the hours missed. This is because sometimes we would have to swop with colleagues and then pay them back. However this is not always the case, and if not we are happy to take the hit financially and time wise. We've made it super clear we NOT expecting her to repay every hour (which is what we are being accused of) but just to provide us flexibility.

She has made it clear that she feels we ABU and that she expects to be paid for any sick leave taken for either her or her child, without any need to pay it back

AIBU?
We want to be kind and generous employers but equally we can't afford to pay her and the additional childcare on top, which we have made clear.
Its becoming a recurrent issue which is causing me a lot of stress.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Yes, change your nanny.

We employed nannies for a few years and it is such a close and personal relationship. However, it is essential that it remains an employer/ employee relationship.

We were always extraordinarily careful not to take advantage of our nannies for anything except nanny duties. We also made sure there never was any overtime. Sometimes we would ask if she was available for extra time and extra cash pay, fully expecting her to say no. In return, she (and her successors) went above and beyond when looking after our children. Bank holidays were considered off-days.

We deliberately did not put sick-pay in the contact though. We paid full pay for our first two nannies. They were very rarely sick and we were happy to pay it. Our third nanny tried to take advantage, similarly to yours. After what we thought was too much and unjustified sick leave (on full pay) we therefore reverted to statutory sick pay. Her absences miraculously decreased but we felt that trust had been broken.

We don’t have a nanny anymore but I believe that when you find the right person you need to do everything in your power to be a brilliant employer. But your nanny does not sound to be the right person sadly.

We've had numerous nannies over years of varying quality. We had a similar situation where nanny was off sick in probation and then due to COVID didn't want to return (but still wanted a job and sick pay). We very quickly gave her notice using the standard letter that nannytax can provide. Before 2 years unless they have special protection such as being pregnant or having disability it is very easy to get rid - you don't have to give a reason beyond it's just not working out for you. Then get yourself a decent nanny. She sounds horrific and you really don't want her going beyond 2 years service!