Help with making a decision!

[LittlePennow]

I am due back to work in a few months, just after my DS turns 1. I'm going back three days and I'm really torn in terms of childcare. I have to go back for three months at the very least to avoid paying mat pay back. We are considering a childminder or a nanny. A nanny would cost the vast majority of my income - psychologically, I am struggling with the idea that I would essentially be working to pay for someone else to look after DS. On the other hand, if I stopped work, there'd be an impact on my pension and my career - getting another job in a few years could be tricky for me as I don't drive so my pool is limited. Plus, I'd never intended to be a fully stay at home mum (huge respect to those that do, it's definitely not the easy option!). And I'd also be totally reliant on my DH for money. We know a fantastic childminder who has space for DS but I'm struggling a bit with the lack of space in the house and the fact that my DS won't get 1:1 care and attention, plus his day being shaped around the needs of other children in terms of nursery/school runs etc. I know many, many children go to childminders and nurseries and are absolutely fine. There are definitely things about a childminder that I like the idea of. It's just we can afford to go for 1:1 with a nanny and I think it would be a great fit for DS but am really finding the idea of leaving him to earn enough money for someone else to take care of him really difficult. There would be very little financial gain from my working but obviously that's not the only benefit staying in work brings... Any thoughts would be really appreciated as I am finding it really hard to decide what to do!

Use the childminder. Building relationships and playing with other children will be good developmentally for your child.

You could do a long introduction if it makes you more comfortable. It will be better for your DC too if she has time to get used to the childminder before she is left all day.

If you're planning any siblings yadda yadda...

Try the childminder. I don't think children need 1:1 care - think of all the kids in the world with siblings. Your DC will learn all sorts of social skills being with other children.

Also, it's only 3 days a week

You know a fantastic childminder whereas you might not find a fantastic nanny.
It’s shooting yourself in the foot to think of your salary going towards childcare. You should think of it as coming half from your salary and half from the other parent’s since childcare enables you both to work, not just one of you,

I would choose the childminder or nursery.

I think being with other children is good for them.

You are already saying now that you will feel downhearted to work just to pay for childcare. That feeling gets worse when you are actually working and dealing with the stresses which come with juggling work and home life for short term monetary benefit. I agree In not giving up work as it's only a short period until 30 hours free hours (if using) or school but it still doesn't help the short term feeling which lasts about three years. It's a long slog.

However, the positives with having a nanny is that you most likely will have cover for child sickness due to not having childminders/nursery policies in place. Depends how flexible your employer would be if you needed to be off with a sick child and many are off sick a lot the first year.

I would use the childminder. All children except first-born children have to work around other routines and they thrive on it. A strong routine with a caring childminder will be the next best thing to having you at home, and if you decide to have another then your family will grow with the child minder's family and/or the other families they mind for.

In a childminders your lo will get the next best thing to 1 to 1 they learn a lot from being with mixed ages speech and development wise school runs are not a negative typically Los learn loads mine take photos of what they see.....road works, birds nests shapes etc and use them back at base for craft and to develop their interests. Potentially a childminder may see you through all your childcare needs up to secondary school and multiple children as well as costing a lot less than a nanny.

We have both (daycare + nanny) for our kids. We have three under 5, and with so many COVID isolations and daycare closures, both DH and me in “big” careers, and no family nearby, we had to build a lot of back-up into our childcare plans (let’s just forget about the costs… I keep telling myself it’s temporary… eeeeeek!!!)

All this to say - I’ve been able to compare. While I personally prefer having the kids home with our absolutely lovely nanny (so I can have lunch with them and see them in between calls when I’m WFH), they hands down have more fun at daycare. Even my 9-month-old who just started two weeks ago. I find when they’re home for 3 days straight with our nanny, even though they’re getting 1:1 attention, going to the park, etc, they get more bored and cranky. They looooove seeing their friends at daycare. They love the social aspects, the messy play (I mean… there’s no way we’re making a mud volcano or slime in our kitchen, haha!), and thrive on the structure (the older two still nap at daycare. They haven’t for AGES at home. Peer pressure is amazing).

It’s funny, I always assumed daycare would be a sad and grubby place, but we found an INCREDIBLE centre and now it’s truly our preference, by a long shot!