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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am I over reacting?!

24 replies

stepmuma101 · 07/03/2022 20:57

My 3 year old went to his Dads at the weekend, whilst he was there his 14yo daughter took him to the park and to a friends house for the afternoon.
I personally feel that 3 is too young to be allowed out without a responsibility adult. Especially walking near main roads.
Am I over reacting?!
Thank you

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WhatNoRaisins · 07/03/2022 20:59

I'd think a sensible 14 year old that the 3 year old is comfortable with would be fine. What would bother me more is that the 3 year old is supposed to be there to spend time with dad, not to be palmed off.

whysoserious123 · 07/03/2022 21:11

14 is no problem providing they are sensible. I agree with the above poster the issue here is the child was supposed to be spending the day with the dad

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 07/03/2022 21:12

Sadly not your business..

ChoiceMummy · 07/03/2022 21:20

@WhatNoRaisins

Why was his 14yo sister being there and taking him to the park so unreasonable? It's a perfectly normal thing to do. I used to take my siblings out for ice cream or to tve bakery and Playpark when they were younger than 3 and in greater numbers than 1!!!

Hercisback · 07/03/2022 21:22

This is fine.

Legoninjago1 · 07/03/2022 21:22

Hmm - I don't think I'd like it either OP but it really would depend on the 14 yr old I think.

NiceTwin · 07/03/2022 21:24

Yes, you are over reacting.

Original poster

stepmuma101 · 07/03/2022 21:25

@stepmuma101

My 3 year old went to his Dads at the weekend, whilst he was there his 14yo daughter took him to the park and to a friends house for the afternoon. I personally feel that 3 is too young to be allowed out without a responsibility adult. Especially walking near main roads. Am I over reacting?! Thank you

Edit: My son is a runner and will quite often just run off if your not holding his hand tight. Also large gangs hang around the park dealing drugs. This was one of my main concerns.

OP posts:

Bdhntbis · 07/03/2022 21:26

I’m surprised by the reactions; my DSD is about to turn 14 and I wouldn’t leave her with my 4 year old

WhatNoRaisins · 07/03/2022 21:26

I mean would it have been any better if it had been an 18 year old instead?

ChoiceMummy · 07/03/2022 21:38

Even with that drip feeding, it doesn't change my response.

He was with his sister who quite obviously managed him despite him being a runner child

Soul11Soul · 07/03/2022 21:39

It would really depend on the 14 year old and how long they were caring for the child and what they did in that time. It would also matter how often it happened.

I mean would it have been any better if it had been an 18 year old instead

As above. But generally speaking an 18 year old should be more capable of looking after a toddler as they are in fact an adult. I would also be reluctant to give certain 14 year olds that responsibility, for their own sake.

negomi90 · 07/03/2022 21:47

I'd think that a 14 year old playing at being responsible likely to be watching more closely than some adults.
The 14y will be thinking its a big deal and watching like a hawk in order to show adults they are responsible.
I know my rules (the ones I invented) when I had my little siblings out and about were far stricter than my mum and step dad's.
At that age with me, they had to either hold my hand or walk in front of me, so that if they did a runner I'd see instantly. They knew it.
I wouldn't assume a responsible 14yr is less good at managing a run away 3yr then an adult. Especially if the 14y has volunteered and is doing it as a one off because they want to vs an adult who's a bit distracted on their phone (not that adults are always distracted or that 14yrs don't go on their phone, either are possible).

Secondtimemama32 · 07/03/2022 21:55

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping

Sadly not your business..

How is it not her business?

Secondtimemama32 · 07/03/2022 21:55

I would NOT be happy with this at all

Notajogger · 07/03/2022 21:58

I'd not be happy with that.
But I did also think as pp said, that the DC shouldn't be being palmed off in the first place when he's supposed to be there to spend time with his dad.

giggly · 07/03/2022 22:10

I don’t think the drug dealing gangs will be queueing up to deal to your son.
Way over reaction

Daisy4569 · 07/03/2022 22:14

I wouldn’t be happy but then my 14 year old niece gets easily distracted by her phone, boys, shiny surfaces for a selfie…

Lolliepoppie · 07/03/2022 22:23

I used to take my younger cousins to the park at 14 with the same age gap. I felt it was a big responsibility and was so so careful with watching them.

But it obviously depends on the 14 year old.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/03/2022 15:41

No wouldn’t be happy with a 14yr taking my runner of a child to park

Why didn’t dad go as well

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 08/03/2022 19:16

A judge would deem the dc's df able to appoint whomever he chooses to look after the dc in his absence.. The dc was taken to a park not a crack house..

NuffSaidSam · 08/03/2022 19:20

I'd be ok with her taking him to the park for a short trip if she is very sensible. I wouldn't be happy with her having him the whole afternoon and taking him to a friend's house too.

Surprised by the responses you've had here, very unmumsnet!

ohwhattodowithmylife · 08/03/2022 19:20

The child spent time with his sibling?
Most 14 year old girls would love the responsibility

BSideBaby · 09/03/2022 23:37

I regularly looked after three children for the weekend was I was 14, ranging in age from one to eight. Never had any problems. Maybe it depends on the 14 year old?

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