not sure on what's best for us - any advice welcomed esp for the portsmouth area :)

[DavidTennantsMistress]

DS and I are moving home sometime this month - (have finally found and 95% secured a house, just waiting on the last final paper work. anyhow. I will be having to work PT again - (no matter what my father says! - have to support us both)

in an ideal world i'd stay at home with DS until he went to school/nursery at 3, but as I say needs must and I have to support us both still. he will be just 2 when I (hopefully) start working again. my questions are:

he's used to having lots of little friends to play with at various groups - 1)should I try a nursery and then move him at 3 to go to the pre school? 2) should I try a CM - as that will give him a little more 1 to 1 but less children, but again would need to move him at 3 to a pre school. or should I wait until he's 3 and put his straight into pre school. (and hopefully manage to sort out childcare amongst the family - how have all said they're willing victims volenteers.

also does anyone know of any good nursery/schools/CM's etc etc in the fareham/portsmouth areas. it's obv preferable he goes to a nursery in a school at 3 and stays there until he's ready to go to the next stage.

oh what to do?

Get your self to work full time woman and put him in the cupboard ubder the stairs

Can i just say cant help out with your requset, but you look dammn good girl saw you going out to the car!

LMAO! (don't have stairs it's a bungalow!) lol

cheers chick! lol - think the idiot man is finally reaslising what he's lost - ah well his hard shit init! I wouldn't mind but every time I want to go out (ie this sat had it planned since b4 xmas and told him so for him to sit) he agrees then at the last minute (like last night) says oh I can't i'm going out you never told me idiot - will be sooooo glad to get home, what's more annoying thou is he has money to drink with his mates - but when I said why don't you take DS swimming oh I can't need to save money - wtf then don't go out wiht your mates see your child instead! idiot man!

how was your xmas anyhow?

It was good, had family here before xmas then went up to scotland for a few days. You?

was quiet - H was here on xmas day then DS & I were at mums on boxing day, then H had DS for 2 days here and I went to brothers then back here again. my folks came down for new years. it's nice to be back here for a while instead of here there and everywhere! lol.

I have always done a mix - 3 days with family, 2 days at nursery. Worked brilliantly, no-one got leaned on too much and the family were also used as a back-up when DC's are ill (inevitable). Teh childminder thing just never appealed to me when I looked into it, but that's probably just me. I am sure there are some brilliant ones around but the ones I met just didn't gel and we happened to have a really fabulous nursery on our doorstep.

Don't know Portsmouth, but the rule of thumb is that the longer the waiting list and the less flexible they are in terms of opening hours, then the better they are. Those who happily take kids from 7 to 7 or later, and those who have immediate vacancies are the ones that need your child, not vice versa, and unless they've only just opened, there will be a reason why they're not full.

BTW, once you have two kids I think you need to have a nanny (and it will be cheaper than 2 X nursery places)

We stayyed in for NYE next door had half the street in I think, god they are SO noisy!

I would go for nursery because it will be more like school, hence a smoother transistion. But, of course, it would depend on the quality of nurseries/childminder. Maybe visit a few of each and see which you prefer. You might find a fabb childminder and mediocre nurseries.

I think 2 is old enough to go to nursery to play withmates. If younger, then I would say childminder.

2 kids is deffo a long way off for me sadly now

with nurserys how do they work exactly - do they have sessions - or can I drop DS in according to my work - (if I have to do shifts I mean)

I like that idea actually of maybe 3 days with me at home 2 with family members and 2 in nursery (it will prob only be afternoons I would assume)

sosh - can't have been that loud we didn't hear them! lol.

my concern with the nursery is moving him after a year to 18 months and having him unsettled again. tbh I want to get it right first time as althou he's young I don't want him to feel he's being pushed from piller to post iycwim.

As far as I know, only about 2 schools in Hampshire have nurseries attached, (will you be in Portsmouth borough, or Hampshire?) so that might not be an option that is open to you.
secondly, most pre schools are only open 3 hours a day, term time only, so that won't be enought if you are working.

If he is with a childminder then they can take him to pre school and collect him afer, and have him all holidays, and basically be as flexible as you need. (-I must declare an interest, I am a cm in the portsmouth area!)

i'll be (without saying too much you understand) inbetween paulsgrove and fareham - but closer to fareham if that makes sence I'll come under fareham bourgh council thou.

are there a lot of CM's about a the mo? I only know of 2 schools which take them from 3 - one of which (after looking at the reports i'm not so keen on)

this is why I want to think about it fully and get all the info as I don't want DS to get more unsettled - in his young life we've already had 1 house move (and another imminent) and also H & I have seperated so he has had a lot to contend with already.

(term time's not an issue - mum's a teacher so she's already volenteered for the holidays apart from 2 weeks when they go away in the summer! lol - damn cheek I tell you!)

www.childcarelink.gov.uk/index.asp

try this website. Put in your post code, and it will give a list of childminders, nurseries etc in the area.
I dont know that area too well, sorry, I'm north of Portsmouth

thanks that's fab - can I jsut ask without soundsing stupid, what's a network childminder?

(is that like you and tori shosh?)

Yes honey exactly!

ok, thanks, there's one pre school which I like the look of - know it but it's a private one (as I remeber) and rather structured - not sure if that would suit DS or not. but it looks the most flexible.

The nursery we use has a pre-school room so there's no chopping and changing.

You can do morning or afternoon sessions at a nursery, but if they are a busy nursery there is probably no way they will let you switch days/sessions around to suit a shift worker - they have to maintain legal child-worker ratios and so can't run the risk of breaching them. Could also be a problem for childminders....

that's what I thoguth yes. will have to ring some places I think once i've sorted out something - but I think it's going to be the best way forward, for nursery and family.

any other thoughts?