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Nanna is a help but hinderence??

4 replies

Twolittleboy · 27/01/2022 21:11

This sounds somewhat ungrateful which is why I am torn. My mother in law means well and loves my two boys. She has the youngest (3) one afternoon a week and picks the eldest (6) up from school that day. It's a great help as gives the eldest a break from afters school club and saves an afternoon nursery fees. We're also very family orientated so love them having the chance to spend time with a grandparent. But this is the gripe. Once picked up they are plonked in front of the TV while she rings her friends and doesn't speak to them at all until I finish work. But bu that time, having been ignored for almost 2 hours and left to zombie they are really grumpy!! There is no value in the time either way and the eldest has started saying he doesn't enjoy the time which is a bit of a concern. My husband has tried to politely mention and explained but nothing has changed. I work upstairs currently and have regularly had then come into meetings as being ignored, had to just finish work early as a result. I've also heard things like "Shut up and stop being stupid" which is not how we speak to the boys, and we have explained this but it still happens. Has anyone had a difficult situation like this and managed to nicely resolve? She absolutely adores the boys so says she wants to spend time with them. I do genuinely think she means well but seems so far off what is a normal way to speak/interact with kids. Due to being tired and distracted she doesn't seem to be able to look after them properly? Having tried to address through conversation and being ignored I feel the only option is to just suggest extra afterachool club/nursery time instead?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Santahasjoinedww · 27/01/2022 21:24

But she isn't spending time with them!!
Imo you need to find another option or get dh to spell out they need actually looking after!

SarahMused · 27/01/2022 21:25

So, she is looking after your children in your house while you work upstairs and they know you are there? Why don’t you just say that you’ve stopped the children watching tv after school and put some toys/activities out ready for them if it bothers you? By the time they’ve got home from school, had a snack and drink there can’t be that much time to fill until you finish work anyway.

winter12345 · 27/01/2022 21:32

I don't see the point in them spending time with her. Sounds like they'd be looked after better in paid for childcare. Less stressful for you and DH too as you don't have this awkwardness with MIL.

karlakourt · 27/01/2022 21:40

Ask her to take them back to hers and give them dinner and you will pick them up after

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