3 yo keeps saying no to going to nursery

[cantthinkofaname2021]

Hello! I'm sure others have experienced this!
My 3 yo just started going to nursery 3 weeks ago, monday-Wednesday 1-6pm and 8-6pm on Thursdays - first week went well, a side from being very tired on the Thursday. Second week he missed as he had a very bad cold & antibiotics, so ended up missing 11 days off in a row, went back on Tuesday which was okay but they called asking me to pick him up early as he was getting teary so I did
Yesterday he didn't want to go, asking if I can go an stay with him there, it took about 3 hours of persuasion to go so he ended up going in late and staying for 2 hours then came home
I'm worried the same is going to happen today, does anyone have any tips on how to help? I don't want it to be a battle or have him going in crying, because when he is there is enjoys it

Do you know what it is that he doesn't like about the nursery? He is only three but if you sit quietly with him and gently ask him a couple of questions he may be able to express his problem.

He hasn't had time to settle in yet, he'll be ok. Of course he'd rather be at home with you but once he settles most likely he'll be off without a backward glance.
Make the handover very quick, don't give him time to work himself up. " Mummy's going to work. I'll pick you up later. Bye!" and go. It's easier for both of you.
I'm a childminder and a quick drop us always less stressful for the child

3 hours! Was that at nursery or at home trying to persuade him to go? Are you at work while he’s at nursery?
DD sometimes doesn’t want to leave the house for nursery, we just pick her up and put her in the car/pram because it’s not up to her. She always skips straight in when we get there.
He needs time to settle but he can’t do that if he’s spending 3 hours of nursery time at home. If you’re happy with the nursery then a quick goodbye and pick him up later. Has he said why he doesn’t like it, is it just that he wants to be with you? When DD first started she used to cry going in, but she also used to cry when we picked her up (she’d be happily playing, then burst into tears when she looked up and saw us, which was nice).

Could be something you will never get to the bottom of. If lo is happy once at the nursery, just accept its separation anxiety. Sadly its something so many of us have to face, the longer you let it drag on, the harder it is.

Don't get into a debate about going just get ready and go up beat it will be fun but not going on about it. The debate just drags out the not going and he will make it longer. At nursery upbeat cheerful and quick good bye.
For most his age this is the first time they are left and with Covid even more so it will take time. Maybe do some short sessions for a week or so talk to nursery for their ideas.

Course he says no. Wants to be with you departed misding it fir 11 days

Coat on and in car or walk. At door. Off you go. Mummy loves you. Bye

My 3 year old boy didn’t want to go to nursery. I thought maybe I’d spoiled him by being with him one on one, or it was just settling in stuff, attachment issues, maybe he was fine when I left, he was tired etc etc. I tried it for one term. He still hated it, one day another child had hurt him and they’d not told me so I spoke to the manager who was a complete cow. So I moved him to another nursery, on the first day he loved it and asked to go again. Such a different positive vibe from the place and people too. He went there for a year every morning so happily. Looking back, my instincts were to listen to him, and I doubted myself and listened to others. This may not be the same situation you find yourself in. But if I could go back in time, I’d listen to him, listen to my instincts and try out another nursery x

I had this with DD, she was fine with my DH after a month but when I took her in she would cry at me for a good 6 months. The nursery would tell me to go and say she did settle down after 20 minutes. She had me at home to herself for a long while so I can imagine it was a hard adjustment when I'd take her. It was always worse after being home with me when I had time off or she was sick.

Unless he gives you a specific, reasonable reason as to why he's not wanting to go, stay upbeat, tell him he'll have fun and you'll see him soon. A kiss and a cuddle before you go and leave him to it. Give it a few months and it will get better.

It won't help if nursery call you to collect him when he's teary.

I don't think it'll help having three afternoons then a full day. Routine is valuable at this age and I'd try and get two or three full days, or four afternoons.

I don't think doing afternoons only is ideal as often some of the kids are
napping at 1pm so it's not as busy and distracting for your DS as walking into a lively energetic nursery in the mornings.

I think I'd want to give it a few more weeks but like the pp said, trust your instincts.

I moved my DD to a different nursery after a year and I really wish I'd done it sooner. I think 4 weeks uninterrupted attendance is enough to make a judgement as to whether they'll settle. You've been unfortunate in that your DS' settling in has been disrupted by him having to be absent.

My DS took months to settle at nursery. Sorry OP, probably not what you want to hear, but it does gradually get better. He was much younger than your child when we started and he absolutely loves it now, but the separation anxiety and change in routine was a nightmare for him for at least the first 6 weeks. We have experienced a similar upheaval recently as he has changed class, which has resulted in lots of "I don't want to go", "I want to stay home and play" but again, gradually improving, and no where near as bad as the first time around.
It's such a huge routine shift and sensory change for them - keep at it and see if there are gradual improvements.

I also found this page posted a really good selection of info on school burn out so now I totally reign in the post nursery interaction too:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CY5HrSYgXGk

Hope that helps x