Childminder keeps refusing my child

[fugde08]

Hi, my son started going to a childminders in Sept and since then he's not gone 7 times because of a cold, hand foot and mouth and he's been sent home 4 times because of teething and cold symptoms. It's so frustrating and it's really interrupted my studies. Is this normal to be so strict?

She says they have to be 100% well, but surely she should expect minor colds? She has asked for me to do a PCR on him but is this really necessary if he's under two? I done a lateral flow on him and it came back negative but she still didn't want to take him in.

Everytime, he doesn't go we pay in full for that day. I don't think she realises how careful and paranoid I am being about covid, if I had the slightest incline he had covid I wouldn't send him in, they are honestly just colds.

Hand, foot and mouth is standard childcare refusal.

It depends on the cold symptoms - temperature or a cough then yes he needs a PCR.

Children with fevers, vomiting, hand foot and mouth and generally miserable should not be in childcare.
Also some colds in children are RSV which is worse than covid for babies.
Being off 7 times since September is actually pretty good for a toddler just starting childcare especially one who due to to lockdowns has been exposed to even less illnesses than normal.

I think my 2yo has had about 10 PCRs in his life so far, as he can't go to nursery without a negative result for a new cough or temperature (which he gets all the time!). I'm afraid you just have to do them if that's the policy. My 4yo's primary school also asks for a negative LFT for ANY cold symptoms so some places are even stricter. It's a real pain when kids start childcare as they seem to catch everything going but it is normal and does calm down.

Okay, thank you for all your replies. I think maybe I just need some clarity on her guidelines, because she is absolutely fantastic otherwise and my son loves going! Also, hopefully his never-ending colds will stop as he becomes more immune.

Hmm. I think it sounds excessive to be honest, if he’s had negative LFTs. My son has been off nursery twice since September but has regularly had a cold!

Does sound like they're being a bit strict about it. I've never had an issue sending DS to our childminder with a cold and she gives them calpol (with our permission) if she thinks it might help them through the day. Sounds very odd to send him home teething unless he's very distressed by it. Hand foot and mouth is totally understandable to refuse.

Perhaps another child has some health condition or she and her family have so that she is being cautious. You’ll need to get used to this though, and work out a contingency plan for when you don’t have the usual childcare available. Whether that’s changing the times you study or having family/friends to help if they are willing to expose themselves to a virus or illness. I find that people generally are more aware of infection/contagion and not just about COVID. A lot of people say they are cautious and then you find out they have been to the pub with different groups and so on, which isn’t how I’d describe cautious and so she may not want to rely on you saying that. She’s probably self employed and if she can’t work or has to shut then that’s her income gone. I totally understand why she’s sending your child home or not taking them.

She is chancer and messing you about. Find a different childminder or nursey..

With HFM, it’s right that she didn’t take your son, for everything else she’s taking the piss and I’d try and find someone less pathetic to look after my child.

She shouldn’t be charging you when it’s her that is refusing to provide the service.

We had a childminder who was very lax on illnesses and she didn't bother to inform me that the other children had come out in chicken pox so I only found out when DD got it. I'd rather have strict tbh.

DD has had over 15 covid tests stating just before she turned 2, she's also had other colds, viruses and HFM in the last year and a half which has meant I have paid for a hell of a lot of unused childcare (easily £300 the other month). Shit luck but worse if people keep sending in sick kids.

I personally think it is unusual. My DDs nursery had a hand, foot and mouth outbreak. PHE told them to allow children with HF&M as does the NHS website, as long as the fever has broke and they are well in themselves. My little girl also goes in with a cold, so long as she's well enough. She catches the colds from nursery usually so it would be unfair to refuse her. Unless he has 1 of the 3 main symptoms he doesn't need a PCR test. My DD started in August and hasn't missed a day, but only because nursery takes the sensible approach that not every sniffle is covid.

I would find a nursery. Good
Childminders don't have any of this nonsense but they are rare these days. My son is 18 months and hasn't been off at all except when I kept him home waiting for a pcr. Hand foot and mouth they can go in according to nhs.

I know it's frustrating OP, but this is fairly normal. Childcare is a bit of a nightmare - you think you have it covered, then it falls through, and then you've got a poorly child and work/studies to deal with.
However, sending home for teething and cold are a bit odd - definitely get clarification on her policies, you need to know exactly when to keep him home and what to expect if he gets sent home.
We were told that after about 6 months the colds/illnesses calm down as they'll have built up some immunity - it was true for our DC, but that was pre-covid.

If you’re happy to send him and they are the ones refusing I wouldn’t be paying for those days. One offs when child is genuinely ill (HFM), fair enough, but this is excessive.

I think asking you to test for a cold is excess. My daughter has never been asked to take a Covid test by her nursery and she has had endless colds but no cough or fever.

We have new childcare regulations here which require a doctors note and / or a covid test result physically signed by a medical professional, for return after any symptoms whatsoever.

I was a bit about it as dd (23mos) has had colds almost permanently since she started daycare in September and the doctors are swamped and are now refusing to do test-and-clear appointments like they used to, but it turns out that we do actually all have covid this time so it was probably reasonable after all...

Trying to use childcare to work basically sucks anyway and is 100 times worse during covid.

HFM is normal to be refused from childcare as it’s very contagious, but she should be accepting them with minor colds so long as they don’t have a temp and ok within themselves, these were my rules sorry but I was not prepared to look after a child all day who was going to scream and cry at me all day long because they were too poorly to be with me but parents had dosed up on calpol before drop! you always knew and they were promptly sent home 4 hours later when the calpol at worn off and the scream started .! If a child needs calpol to get through the day they need to be at home , plus all first aid courses advised we should not be administrating calpol as it’s not an emergency medicine and actual Mask symptoms.

What kind of cold symptoms do you mean?
If she's sending him home for runny noses and sneezing then she's being OTT.
If by "teething and cold symptoms" you mean raised temperatures and coughs then she has to exclude until you do a negative PCR.

If you’re happy to send him and they are the ones refusing I wouldn’t be paying for those days

Sometimes childcare providers HAVE to refuse care for children because some parents seem to be quite happy to send their child in to childcare having dosed them up with calpol to control raging temperatures, With unexplained rashes, sickness bugs, a visibly unwell child etc. Not all parents have the same levels for keeping ill children at home and I’ve seen some really poorly children who have turned Up and then been sent home by their childcare setting.

I’m not commenting on the OPs particular Situation, but I’ve seen some shocking examples of parents trying to leave visibly poorly children and if some settings have taken a hard line on this it’s because they don’t want infectious children in their setting to pass the germs round.

If she gets covid at the setting then she will have no income and the other parents no childcare. She isn't wrong to be cautious. So many parents.try to send in poorly children and then all of them get it and the staff.

We are the only country that has not updated the covid symptom list to that used by the world health organisation. zoe the covid study takes symptoms and looks at data they are urging the government to change the list to include sire throats, stomach bugs, colds, and rashes.
Lfts do not pick up the viral load level that changes once you have symptoms. When your asymptomatic the viral load is highest in the nose once you have symptoms the nose level is greatly reduced and the level in thr throat increases. Pcrs are more sensitive than lfts which is why symptomatic people should get a pcr.

I get she is wary but if your child has a negative lf then she should accept him

My 4yr has had countless lf and pcr as first cough ans gets sent home from school

If lucky can get a pcr app that day and results been 12/15hrs later and back at school next day

I'm a cm and it's difficult to tell from the OP who is being unreasonable. I don't often send children home but certain things (like HFM) vomiting, chicken pox and now Covid have specific guidelines where children must stay at home. If your child has any of the main Covid symptoms they would defo need a Covid test that is the actual rules. But if it is only cold symptoms no test should be required

Move him to a nursery. I had a similar childminder moved my daughter and never had this problem again.

Send him to a nursery. 100% well is unrealistic in small children who pick up small colds etc left right and centre. She should also be able to deal with teething.