CM CLUB:maybe i should put this in AIBU?

[RudolphtheredROSEreindeer]

my mindee(who i had probs with over his days this wek) came this morn, im not being big headed when i say he adores me, he is wonderful too, my family love him, other mindees everyone..i have constantly dropped everything for this family at no notice, changed days/hours/charged less than i should have, bouhgt him things, made extra special effort on his birthday and Christmas with a party and presents..mum and dad pick mindee up tonight, Dad gave me money for this week and next(1/2 fee) so yes that is a bonus im paid early/on time..but i did send 3 notes out with it on so shouldnt be surprised..anyway as they leaving i said oh hang on heres mindees christmas present, hed opend it earlier as others had presents from santa at school..mum took it, didnt look at it, put it in his bag and said bye then!?..........i didnt so much as get a 'have a happy christmas' never mind a thankyou or even a christmas card of mindee!, she said ill text you my hours for new year and i said ill text you back confirming so theres no mix up and she gave me a look and said 'yes!'...dp said its not important, but i feel so irrelevant to them, i look after their gorgeous ds every week, treat him like my own and i dont even get a few nice words..am gutted.

Sorry to hear that, makes you feel so bad after all you do! I have a new job, doesnt start till end jan, offered to come back in jan (cutting down my time with me family, chance for holiday etc) all I got was ok! They have no candidates at all!

I can guess how you feel...

Although I have a lovely c/minder & this year I have got her a mixed bag of gifts. Last year I give her next vouchers & a cup but this year I have got her some lovely tea towels (she doesn't use a dish washer), the Jackie album, a plaque with lovely words on it a next gift set.. hopefully she will like it. I also bought to her 3 kids.

Even if she had've said "Thanks, merry christmas" it would have made the world of difference to you! They have made you feel undervalued.

RedRose, I am sorry that this family are still giving you grief.

Possible she had a lot on her mind what with Christmas coming and what not ?

HIya all, thanks for letting me winge, i dont think this is unusual for them, its all one sided, all give nad no take from me and this just put the icing on the cake!, dp also wonders why im upset, but a simple "merry Christmas, hope you have a nice time", would have meant a hell of a lot..but nothing..i helped her ds make cards/snowglobes,photoframes, snowmen, crackers, tree decorations..i could go on, cos i thought mum and dad would see the sentiment and think it was nice of me to think of them by helping their ds do nice things for them...maybe im being too sensitive, it wouldnt be the first time?, but i just fel so crappy now, like i dont matter to them and i feel like an important part of their ds's day to day..obv i was wrong

Aw mate, that's shit! I feel the same about one of my parents. Her ds has been off all week, sick and when I spoke to her yesterday, she just said, 'Oh well, you've had your 'dosh' so I'll see you after Christmas!'

Lovely!..my other mindee who already gave me my present earlier this week told me tonight that the candle i thought was lovingly chosen by her, was actually one that was in her mums kitchen that she didnt want!..eh? am i missing something?

and today ive been out and bought over £40 worth of food/decorations for a party for mindees tomorrow...at minute i feel like whats the point!, i know the children will love it and that IS the point but i AM just a glorified BABYSITTER!

How long have you been minding?

yup! at least you're not live-in, I get knocks at any mo on time off asking to babysit there and then. Also have asked all this week for more cash for nanny purse! Im out of pocket!

I know how you feel. Last year my full time mindee left I gave his mum a christmas present for him plus a photo album of all the pics I had taken (over 10mths) so quite a lot of pictures she didnt even look at it or say thank you, i was gutted and i cried when i shut the door.

Tomorrow another mindee is leaving, I've looked after him for about 8 mths I very much doubt I will get a christmas present/ leaving present but we'll wait and see just incase i'm wrong but I was doubting I'd get my notice period pay and i've been pleasantly suprised so far!

Earlier this week I turned up to collect a different mindee to find she was off ill and parents hadn't bothered to inform me - I felt under valued then as if they felt my time and effort wasn't important BUT then today they turned up with loads of presents and my holiday pay so i'm chuffed and feel i was a bit too harsh in judging how they feel about me.

since aug 2006 Mo, had this particular mindee almost a year..it has actually made me wonder why i bother putting in SO much effort!..allt hey want is a below minimum wage babysitter to drop on when they feel like it

I hate to say it, but the more Ofsted get involved and make us more like nurseries, the better. You will, at least have more clout as a business and not just a glorified babysitter.

I've done this for 11 years now and it really has only been this one mindee/family that has been difficult. I promise you girls that have only been doing it a couple of years, you will get a good bunch, with good parents, it just takes time! As you go along, you will get stronger and stop taking any shit! With each new mindee, you'll think of new rules, that suit your needs and wants and you will enjoy childminding and feel appreciated by all your families.

Ooh! I feel like the Queen, giving the Christmas speech!

Mo - Thanks for that insight i really really hope you are right! I've been doing it about 18mths and have had more disrespect than respect. It's such a hard job at times and can be so tiring and stressful as you know it's just nice to be appreciated.

I have a new family who started today and they seem lovely and another family starting in the new year who are also lovely one is an ex nursery nurse and she said the reason she is sending her child to a childminder is because shes seen first hand what goes on in nurseries, im really hoping she will know how i definatly do not want to be treated!

I'm a C/m and cared for 2 kiddies for one family for 5 yrs. We went away on holiday in nov, and I'd tried for weeks to find cover for her youngest. No-one was good enough apparently so she took unpaid leave.

I returned home from holiday to find that she'd managed to find another job, which meant she could work evenings and I was no longer needed. I was gutted, not only because I was losing £185 a week, but that they wouldn't be returning at all to work out their notice.

She refused to pay me the 4 weeks notice, saying she hadn't wanted to tell me while I was away on holiday, but she's pay 3 weeks.
I accepted, as I did't want to fall out and I felt 3 weeks was better than None.

Dad called yesterday with a card and gifts for both DH and Me. I was rather surprised to say the least! I've written them a card, but hadn't budgetted for gifts for them at all!!

I have a lovely dinosaur book I could give to eldest boy, and cobble something together for youngest, but do you think I ought to?

I still feel hurt that they quibbled over payment to me, when I'd done so much extra for them over the years, including picking mum up from work every day before she drove, taking her mum and disabled dad to hospital for appointments etc.

What would you do?!

Sally

TBH i wouldnt bother with a gift for them, they obv feel guilty, but your £185 out of pocket for the 4th week, tell them thats your gift!

from now on, particulary with this family, it business all the way, still cant do much about changing hours but i WILL reinforce the ' no changed less than 24 hourd before' so they WILL pay for any messing about and no favours this time!..had enough

Rudolph, I would expect more notice than 24 hours tbh.

I would never treat my c/minder like that, it's just sad.

You are doing her the favour, not the other way around.

Your right Mo, as the years go by, the relationship with parents does get better, dont know if its as Ive got older and the parents have got younger than me, or if its just as you get older you handle parents better, or a combination of things.

I have had really great parents for the last 7 years I have been living here, only one set where a nightmare and I gave notice. I am in a position that I can pick and choose really who I take, have a good rep, there are few CM's, and my name is known.

All my parents have bought me really thoughtful gifts, vouchers for a Indian Head massage, pedicure and manicure, Tea for two at a Posh hotel, Lovely aprons (yes I wear a apron) things I really will enjoy.

But there again have a child that I have had for 5 years, nice enough parents always pay on time. But have never as much as received a Christmas card, in fact never as much as met Mum, Dad picks up (she is a schoolie)

Anyway she is leaving (now 13) and SHE went out and bought me a leaving pressie with her own money.

Bradfordmum - I wouldn't bother with a present either. You owe them nothing.

Thats the thing girls, with time comes a reputation. Eventually people will come to you because of the reputation you have built up. Friends of your nice families will come to you because you've been recommended and they will also be nice! I haven't advertised for 7 years! This time last year, I was gutted to loose a particular little girl, firstly because she was gorgeous and secondly because it was a lot of money. I told someone on the way to school the morning after I had my notice. Word got round and I had another one to replace her within a week!

well today i have rceied loads of cuddles kisses and thankyou both from aprents and children, mindee who is leaving and her mum bought me a beautiful necklace(dres jewlerry type,s he know i like this kind of thing) and a bracelt to match, then she also MADE me herself(mum( some baileys choc truffles!..there are loads in bag and i was naughty and pinched one!..OMG theya re delish am getting recipe tonight!..one day a week baby(girl this time) bought me a huge choc santa from thorntons with my name on and dad wrote me a lovely caard and new mindee brought me a big box of celerations..those will get snaffled at our christmas party after school..so today am feeling better , not cos i got presents, but the lovely words/cards the paretns have said to me which really makes me feel more worthwile..off to cry now and feed mindees too many choc cos i love em all

oh my god, take these bailys truffles off me ill be drunk in cahrge of minors!!(mum said theres less that half a measure in the full batch but..ooohh so delish!

Yep but you are not suppose to eat them all at once

(Even better dip them in Baileys)

im not!.., im eating one, closing fridge dorr, walking back to play room, getting back up going into kitchen opening fridge door taking one out clsoing fridge door..you see a pattern emerging?..yeah have got huge bottle of bailys here, will eat the rest tonight

I have a BIG box of choc Oranges here (actually two it was BOGOF, but only one open)

They are in the kitchen, doing the same route between Kitchen and Playroom, on the understanding that the walking back and forth is walking off the calories.

Yes YOU ARE RIGHT shosh!, although THESE ones are the only ones ive not found sickly?!..thats a BAD BAD thing!

Gotta go now, make up butties and pizza for aprty, byeee.....>