Childcare consistency

[SomethingISaid]

I'm on mat leave and trying to get organised for my return to work. My daughter will be 11 months old.

We're amazingly fortunate that both pairs of grandparents are willing to assist with childcare - 1 day per week each. She'd spend the remaining days at a local childminder.

As well as saving so much of money, we thought that baby being at grandparents would be good for her - building a close relationship with them, getting plenty of 1:1 time etc.

But, my Mum has made the point that being sent to 3 different "minders" each week (even though they are family) will produce lack of consistency/routine/too many carers to get used to etc, resulting in unhappy, unsettled baby.

Does anyone have experience of sending their child of similar age to 1 vs numerous people? Did it have any effect on them?

Would love to see baby get close to Grandparents, and of course the savings on childcare would help us massively. But ultimately want to know what's best for baby. Thanks!

I think a childminder four days a week and the grandparents alternating every second Friday would work better. Free childcare and bonding is brilliant but it's unfair to expect them to stick to a routine when it's only one day a week.
Really though, you know your baby best and what works for you as a family re routine / consistency.

In my experience it is very dependant on individual babies! So I've often done nanny shares (similar in a way to a childminder where I have a few kids at once) and I've had babies do a mixture of me, grandparent and nursery which worked amazingly, baby was adaptable, slept in buggy, cot, sling, cuddled with us on sofa. But equally I've had a child who started at 9 months and did a mixture and really really struggled, each week was a tricky settling in, parents super chill but napping was so tough as no set routine. It took a really long time to fully settle (it wasn't all day crying, just s difficult handover and then was happy throughout the day, but routine just a bit confusing for them) but a year on, miles better, walks in happy but occasionally has a wobble. So I say give it a go and see how your baby is!

I think if you're going to do multiple carers it's better for them to be family. So this could work. DS1 when he was 2 used to go to childminder and XMIL and then his dad would take him some weekends as well. Which isn't really childcare as he was his dad but he was a bit Disney rather than a consistent figure.

It's a problem if a child has multiple childminders/nanny/nursery and not enough time at each to settle in.

I think it depends on parenting style and how grandparents respect your wishes. Find a childminder who has your values and standards so basics are consistent. Then with the grandparents you can afford them to act like grandparents more than childcare to z degree. I'm a childminder and work with families that use grandparents the ones who have some rules and respect parents wishes re food, naps treats and behaviour go better than the I will spoil my grandchildren forgetting its not occasional day.....unfortunately its hard to tell how each grandparent will be many strict as parents go off the rails with grandchildren. It's handy having a childminder who can cover if grandparents are ill or on holiday and to access wider experiences many grandparents do forget their grandchildren are growing up and need independence and skills like getting messy with glue and scissors.

Thank you all for your advice! We are going to send her to Grandparents, allowing plenty of visits to them before I go back to work. Then when I do, she'll just have the childminder to get used to. Happy holidays to all!

Could the grandparents come to you? Baby might be more comfortable in their own environment.

That said I agree with others that it depends on the DC. Mine loves being anywhere but at home so she would be well suited to what you’re proposing.