Nanny and ‘nursery duties’ - what is reasonable?

[Everydaylemon]

Hoping to get some advice from the experienced folk here. We have a new PT nanny who is so far proving to be wonderful. She is fairly green and we also haven’t employed a nanny before. Her contract covers normal nursery duties, such as making sure the childrens bedrooms/toys are kept tidy, changing bedding, restocking changing table, dealing with their laundry etc. At the moment she is struggling to fit these aspects in and I’m not sure what is a feasible amount to gently insist upon.

The children are 2.5 and 7 months, toddler is very full on. It’s a obviously a busy job to look after these ages. When I’m at home with them on my own I usually try to do things like put their laundry away in their bedrooms while they play on the floor, fold things up/put things in the wash while they are in their high chairs and lunch is cooking etc. fitting it where I can with a bit of creativity! Is it reasonable to expect the same from our nanny, or should she be more focused on more fun activities and not multitasking to fit chores in? They sleep in their rooms at nap time so can’t really do most of these jobs then. I do want this to do list taken care of somehow! What is the norm in this situation? And apologies if this is a dumb question, this is all new to me.

How many hours does she work? When you say, she is 'green', do you mean she is young or is she inexperienced, or perhaps she worked in a nursery rather than being a nanny?

These are difficult things to do, as you know... when you have two children to take care of. Perhaps you can give her ideas of how you do this, remembering that the children might be less amenable to playing on their own for her than they are for you or you might be more focussed on the tasks during those 15 / 20 minutes than she is comfortable with. She may not be comfortable leaving the children in their high chairs to do the laundry.

I would sit down with her and work out how these tasks can be done... maybe set one task per day. They are things that in theory should be possible to do during the day, it is not an unreasonable request.

How long has she been with you? Don't forget you know where everything is and know your children inside out so are probably much faster. Your children are very small (and at unpredictable ages) so I wouldn't be too harsh too soon.

You say she is PT - how many days and how many hours?

From my experience it’s only really full time nannies who are expected to do the full laundry/bed changes as they have more time over the week, where as part time it can be harder to cram it all in

She is 30 hours a week and hasn’t had baby experience before, limited toddler experience. She also hasn’t looked after 2 before. She is doing brilliantly so far so I don’t want to be harsh about this side of things, and yes it’s definitely taken me a while to get used to the juggling!

How long has she been working with you? Can you arrange to have a chat with her and find out what's working for her and what she's struggling with. That's an opportunity for you to discuss this.
It might be that she either is - or thinks you want - a really active nanny who is out & about with the children or constantly doing art & craft with them. She might not realise that you're happy for her to let them play around her feet (or even watch TV) for 30 mins whilst she does things like change the beds.
Also, why do you want her to do these tasks? If it's because you struggle to fit them in whilst looking after your DC then it's not going to be magically easier for her to do it just because she's a nanny.
When is your DC1 due to start nursery? With this sort of age gap, it can be worth signing them up for an afternoon session as then it should be possible to have DC1 in nursery and DC2 napping with gives a good opportunity for jobs... or it all goes horribly wrong and DC2 falls asleep on the way back from nursery drop off, wakes up as soon as you get home and refuses to nap again leaving you with a very grumpy little one!

I’m a nanny. I work 45-50 hours a week (on maternity leave currently)

The children were 2 and 5 when I started. I basically do everything they need, and apart from stack and unload the dishwasher with what we’ve used I don’t expect to do anything for the parent, the housekeeper does her washing etc.

I wash and iron and label all uniform, I purchase it too when needed

Put out all clothes and uniform for he t day and unpack/pack school things

Wash and iron all other clothes, purchase new when needed, put away/get out summer or winter clothes.

Wash all children’s sheets and do bed change weekly

Wash and change all children’s towels/flannels

Buy new toothbrushes, check medicine cabinet, replace anything if needed

Book haircuts, eye and dentist appointments

Plan all holiday activities I want to do with them- theatre, zoo etc

Keep a diary for play dates, clubs, activities, appointments

Batch cook children’s meals.

Sew and repair clothing, polish their shoes

Keep on top of their toys and take to charity shop ones that aren’t played with

Tidy all mess I’ve made with the children during the day

Pack for activities/trips/holidays

There’s loads more but that’s off the top of my head. But as I say I have more hours to fill! So you could look at the list and decide what is your priority and what she could reasonably fit in with her hours.

No expert here but that sounds like quite a lot to fit in if she's part-time?

What is it that she's struggling to fit in?

If she's still new hopefully she's still finding her feet though anyway, and once she gets a bit more used to their routines she'll be able to organise the day a bit better, like getting the laundry out of the room before they are asleep in there etc.

Thanks @WheelieBinPrincess, appreciate you responding from the other side of the fence. She has only been with us a couple of weeks so far.

Of they both nap reliably at the same time, after she's taken half an hour to have a break she should crack on.
If they don't sleep reliably though would you be happy with her leaving them in front of the TV to get the jobs done....that's what I did with my dc, but I'm not sure I'd be happy with q Nanny doing it unless specifically agreed.
FWIW I don't imagine she'd happily leave a child in q highchair and leave the room to do other jobs, I certainly wouldn't.

Nanny here, I do 3 days with one family (my main family) and some hours the other 2 days with another family..
With my main family we kind of all just pitch in. Toddler has own wash basket so when I get there on Monday, if it's full then I pop washing on in the morning, transfer to tumble dryer and then when he's napping I fold and then take up once they wake and put away whilst they play/ chat to me / sing. Equally sometimes I put the washing on in the evening so mum or dad pop in dryer. Or there may be clothes in the dryer that they haven't had a chance to fold. Other than that I do the dishwasher when needed, and general tidy up after us. My boss is very persistent on me having down time when they sleep but I do do long days (11/12 hours) so I do need that downtime.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I’m a nanny. I work 45-50 hours a week (on maternity leave currently)

The children were 2 and 5 when I started. I basically do everything they need, and apart from stack and unload the dishwasher with what we’ve used I don’t expect to do anything for the parent, the housekeeper does her washing etc.

I wash and iron and label all uniform, I purchase it too when needed

Put out all clothes and uniform for he t day and unpack/pack school things

Wash and iron all other clothes, purchase new when needed, put away/get out summer or winter clothes.

Wash all children’s sheets and do bed change weekly

Wash and change all children’s towels/flannels

Buy new toothbrushes, check medicine cabinet, replace anything if needed

Book haircuts, eye and dentist appointments

Plan all holiday activities I want to do with them- theatre, zoo etc

Keep a diary for play dates, clubs, activities, appointments

Batch cook children’s meals.

Sew and repair clothing, polish their shoes

Keep on top of their toys and take to charity shop ones that aren’t played with

Tidy all mess I’ve made with the children during the day

Pack for activities/trips/holidays

There’s loads more but that’s off the top of my head. But as I say I have more hours to fill! So you could look at the list and decide what is your priority and what she could reasonably fit in with her hours.

Wow

Do you mind me asking if that’s fairly ‘standard’ for a full time nanny? Some of the stuff you’ve listed there I would never have imagined being a nanny’s responsibility!

@Nearthelooplease I think some of it is a bit old school- but my employer likes that! Plus I wanted to keep my full time job and salary once the children were at nursery or school, so I agreed to do a lot of extra things. I don’t get time to do all that in the holidays, but it keeps me busy in term time. Plus of course there was no school or nursery for huge chunks of last year and this so homeschooling took up a lot of my time!

The primary focus should be the charges.

Second is cleaning up messes of the day.

Things like putting away laundry and other larger tasks are generally for nap time, after a lunch break has been taken.

You don’t want a nanny to be multi-tasking as much as a parent.

'you don't want a nanny multi tasking as much as a parent". Of course not . .but some Nanny employers forget that the Nanny, although deeply find of the children, is doing a professional job and that this has limitations, in the same way that people on the office need breaks and downtime. rRemwmber, if your Nanny is doing a 10/12 hour job with babies/children, they need breaks, just like any other worker. A good Nanny has no real expectation of when she'll take her break. She waits until child sleeping ext, unlike an office worker who can book a lunch out.So if you arrive home at 3.00 to find your Nanny relaxing on the sofa whils dv sleeps, don't assume she is having an easy life. She is taking a break while she can. Yes she dvould use this time to put s wash let af on or tidy up the playroom .. but she is Nanny ...not Mummy. Respect her professionalism if she is good and respect her right (and need)to take reasonable breaks like any other employee. Responsible childcare .. all day long ...done properly ...is challenging. Recognise that and appreciate your Nanny. I do because I know I couldn't do o it all day everyday.

Excuse typos. Had a long day.😃

When you say part time, how part time is she? because obv anything pertaining to the children is usually fair game, but if she is only part time then you need to be realistic.
i work 4 days currently and look after 3 children(now aged 5yrs old and 3yr old twins,. they were 3yrs old and twin 9mth olds when i started) i change their beds x1 a wk, i do laundry each day, cook for the children(and if theres enough left over, i leave it for the parents, but that is not required) i empty the dishwasher each morning, clean up after me and the children, i sort any clothes or toys they've grown out of, when they were in nappies i would make sure i restocked every thing.i work 42hrs a wk, so organise my time so i can fit everything in

i did once had two part time jobs. 2 days in each job.(10.5hr days) and while i still had nursery duties, it wasnt the full amount i am doing now. family A had 4yr old and 1yr old twins. i cooked their meals, did laundry on those days and tidied up after me and the children. family b i had a 4yr old and 3yr old. i changed the kids beds and washed their bedding, cooked for the children, and ironed some of their clothes

Obviously I don't know the full extent of the arrangement / children's routine, but I'd say you need to be realistic. At 7 months and 2.5 years the children are very young, on top of that they probably have a very different routine. You have to remember than being a nanny is totally different to being a mum. As a parent you can be more relaxed about leaving them in highchairs / on the floor while multi-tasking, but when you're entrusted with someone else's children, you can't afford to take any shortcuts. You say she doesn't have much experience with babies / toddlers let alone a baby AND a toddler. That sounds like it's probably a bit overwhelming for her without even adding the additional housework. Maybe as she gets to know the children a bit better, she may eventually start fitting chores in. Or just find a more experienced nanny who's willing to do all of the above

Assuming that’s 3 days so no she won’t be able to do all that with bsby and toddler

Not fair to do 7 days washing in 3 days

Equally changing a Bec /cot takes mins

Is there a playpen /gated area she can leave kids safely to do some jobs

Thanks everyone really appreciate the replies.

I am beginning to wonder if waiting for someone more experienced might have been something to think about…however this isn’t easy where we live (very rural) and she is really great with the children and seems very engaged and dedicated WRT the job. But yes a good point that it’s not the same as being mum.

There is a playpen yes, and upstairs the toddlers room has a stair gate across the door and it’s safe to leave in there playing with toys

She has been with us for only a few weeks so far

I think considering all the facts you're expecting too much.

I would pick the one or two things that are most important to you from your list and concentrate on those. Then when the older one starts nursery/pre-school and the childcare element of the job is easier you can discuss what else to add in.

It sounds like you're expecting a lot, but equally have you explicitly told her you want her to strap them in to high chairs or leave them in play pens or bedrooms to do chores?
Lots of people wouldn't like a nanny to do that so if you would, you need to make it clear.

The difference is that you will prioritise the jobs over the kids. It is normal. I have brought the kids into whatever room I am working in to get a chore done. Her role is a nanny. She isn't replacing you. She is looking after the kids. You need to lower your expectations of the nursery duties. I think this kind of idea dates back to times when kids were plonked in their prams, people had housekeepers etc. You have two very young kids there; her hands will be full keeping them safe and happy.

Give her time to settle in as well. After a month she'll be more confident with the children and have a better bond with them so may be able to do more nursery duties in future. I have always told our nannies to prioritise children over house. They will always do the basics of cooking, cleaning the kitchen and playroom etc but I see laundry and other tasks as an added bonus.