After school Nanny and Calpol

[Threesocks]

We have an after school Nanny for our two children. Today my daughter had a medical appointment and was in pain when we got home so I gave her some paracetamol - I thought the Nanny had seen me give it to her (she was in the room at the time).
I then took my son to an activity and she stayed with my daughter. When I got back she said casually - "it was hurting her so I gave her some calpol".
I am really shocked and annoyed as she didn't check with me before giving calpol (and now she has had a double dose"
AIBU to be annoyed - she seems to think it's my fault for not making sure she realised I had already given her some.

We have other performance issues with our Nanny so I am not sure if this is clouding my view.

You should have made sure she knew about the first dose, not just assumed

You should have told her about the filter dose.
You 'thought' she had seen you give her it but weren't certain.
Always clarify with meds.

First*

On this occasion both of you are at fault. Her for mot checking with you and you for not telling her that you administered a dose and at what time. It was obvious to you you gave Calpol, from her point of view she could have not registered it at all or think it was supplements for example.

I agree you should have informed the nanny you had given a dose of calpol rather than assume she had seen you.

Fair enough - although she has never given calpol before without checking first.

You need to expressly tell a nanny when you’ve given medication…

My nanny and I text it, even if we are both in the house, so we know exactly what time it was given
Even DH and I have a system to do this when one of us gives calpol to make sure we aren’t both giving some

But a one off double dose isn’t going to do any harm

I’d have specifically told her about the calpol.
But in my opinion she is in the wrong, and shouldn’t give medication without checking it with you.
Unless medication is something you’ve previously discussed and told her you are fine with her giving calpol if she thinks it’s necessary.

You should have told her. But if there are other issues making you question her judgement maybe it's time to make other childcare arrangements?

Your fault. You should always tell whoever you’re handing over childcare too if you’ve given medication.

You weren't there and you should have made sure she knew. Ffs.

Do you use a daily diary sheet, or a notebook or some other way to communicate between you? Having some kind of system for communicating important information is useful and pretty common with nannies to have a diary of some kind.

Did you have a discussion about giving medication when you first hired her? What was your protocol? If you dont have one, you need to make one going forward

Performance issue

You should have told her.

You should have told her about the first dose and not just assumed she had seen. With other things going on with kids it's easy to not notice everything. Maybe have a chat with her about asking you next time before giving it but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. A double does won't do any harm atall

Goodness of course you should have said that she had some Calpol at x time and the dose she had is necessary. Why wouldn’t you make sure she knew?

I would expect my childcare to check with me first. At nursery they needed written consent. Either in the morning and details of last dose, or by email in an emergency. I can't believe the other responses to be honest. If our babysitter gave calpol without trying to contact me first she wouldn't babysit for me again.

you should have been explicit told her what time adn which medication you gave and been clear about next dose and where nurofen could also be given - personally I would have written it down. You handed care to her your responsibility to give hand over details not to expect her to know from maybe having seen you do it

We write it on a blackboard in the kitchen if and when we give medicine.. no nanny just two busy parents who sometimes forget what time we gave it.

@Tillymintpolo

You should have made sure she knew about the first dose, not just assumed

Yes! This

I think you are both equally to blame.

@CottonSock

I would expect my childcare to check with me first. At nursery they needed written consent. Either in the morning and details of last dose, or by email in an emergency. I can't believe the other responses to be honest. If our babysitter gave calpol without trying to contact me first she wouldn't babysit for me again.

The whole point of having a nanny is that they are in loco parentis while they are on duty

I don’t expect my nanny to check decisions like this past me. In fact, it would drive me mad if they were checking in every few mins to ask about food, medication, what activities to do

They are in a position of trust so are expected to make decisions and get on with it

Thank everyone, I have discussed it with her.
The protocol has always been that she checks with me before giving any meds. I work from home and so am normally in the same building. I was only gone for 30 minutes,so it genuinely never occurred to me to be so explicit - lesson learnt.
I have reiterated the process we want her to follow, but not made too big a deal of it.
The other performance issues are being dealt with and we are trying to help her improve so we can have a way forward, but it seems to be one thing after another at the moment, hence me wanting to sense check whether I was overreacting.

You gave medication. You should have told nanny

She is looking after your children so I wouldn’t expect to her to check with you each time over something Child was in pain. She gave calpol

Tho how old is child. Old enough to say mummy gave me some ?

Nanny told you she gave calpol

Tho having a one off incident of double dose isn’t going to harm

Your responsibility to have procedures in place I wouldnt leave my child with a nanny if they had just had a medical appointment that left them in pain just to take a sibling to an activity.