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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is it normal for an aupair/nanny/mother's help to have to do this?

23 replies

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:20

I went for an interview for a live-in nanny/mother's help job to join a family of 3 - mum, dad and 7 yr old girl. I only met the mum but it was a lovely interview. She was nice, the house a bit untidy. The dad works full time and mum stays at home but wants help with the girl, taking to/from school, making meals, going on outings and playing with her. She liked me enough at the interview to offer me the job there and then. Nice enough family, so will be an enjoyable job I thought til she showed me round the house and showed me what would be my room. It is currently being used as a storage room and is full of stuff so much you can't walk in. The mum said that when I came to move in that I and the dad can tidy it out and give it a lick of paint! Is it normal for nannies to have to prepare their own room?!?! I've worked as a nanny before for rich families in huge houses to families on a normal income who live in a normal 3 bed semi and never have I had to prepare my own room...it's always been spotless everytime i've moved in! I do not want the job now so will be turning it down!

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frannikin · 08/12/2007 18:24

I've never had to prepare my own before either. Always been totally ready for me. Maybe they just wanted you to be involved in decorating your room?

That's the only possible reason I can think of for her saying it but meaning it in a nice kind of way.

stockingfiller · 08/12/2007 18:25

i suppose they wasnt expecting someone to fill post so quickly and maybbe they wanted you to have a choice in decor

paros · 08/12/2007 18:25

seems a bit off . Why does she need a full time nanny if she is at home . Do you think she has some things going on that she hasnt told you about . Lets be honest the child is at school all day , Something is up with this job for sure .

goingfor3christmaspuddings · 08/12/2007 18:28

Maybe the dad doesn't have time to do it by himself and the mother for some reason can't help him so they are asking you to help. Really you would expect the room to be prepared for you, were are you going to sleep when you start, do they have anywhere to put the boxes or are they just going to shove a matress in your room and let you sleep with the boxes? You'll be doing the right thing turning it down!

GeekgirlRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 08/12/2007 18:30

it sounds really bizarre. Why would she need help with an only child of that age anyway ?? Weird.

ConnorTraceptive · 08/12/2007 18:33

Odd if you ask me - what on earth would a live in nanny do while child was at school.

paros · 08/12/2007 18:34

paint the bedroom of course LOL

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:40

I'm not just choosing the paint for the room, i'm moving the junk that's in there too, to the loft I think if I take the job, but it's a definate no can accept a job like this!

I asked if it would be ok if I took her daughter out to the nearest park in the school holidays (5 mins on regular bus route) or to the swimming pool which is a short walk away and she hmmmed and ahhhed saying it wasn't safe these days! I've been in childcare since leaving school and took my newborn cousin out alone everyday at the age of 11 fgs!

I told her on the phone I couldn't take the job, that it just wasn't what I was looking for and she won't leave me alone now, constantly leaving messages on my answerphone about how she'll up the pay from £100 per week for after-school care and child-related housework to £300 per week I still won't take it though because she is freaking me out!

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LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 08/12/2007 18:41

Must admit that I thought it odd about them even needing someone before I heard about the room and yes, I agree the room should be ready for you. Deffo turn it down!

LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 08/12/2007 18:42

OMG, how scary!!!

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:42

By the way, I can speak perfect English (my 1st language!) and know their local area like my backyard so her saying it's not safe for me to take her daughter out...hello?!?!?!

OP posts:

paros · 08/12/2007 18:43

Odd job for sure . May be she has some issues .

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:44

Even if I took the job i'd be frightened of upsetting the child for fear of the mums reaction to me and I can see it now in the school holidays - sat at home, not being allowed to go out with the girl! The whole fun of nannying is experiencing a childs joy of the outside world!

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goingfor3christmaspuddings · 08/12/2007 18:45

I feel sorry for the woman it sounds as if she is really insecure if she's not happy for you to take her DD out. Also to employ a live in Nanny for a 7 year old she would probably want you for her own company too which does seem like the case f she is tripleling her wage offer.

ChristmasNo1Songbird · 08/12/2007 18:45

Did she mean you're not safe or that it's not safe 'out there' IYSWIM.

Weegle · 08/12/2007 18:47

It does seem a really bizarre job. I am a SAHM and have an au pair - reason: I have a disability which means I need help with DS and housework. BUT, I was upfront about this right from the start. Nonetheless we made sure her room was completely decorated and fitted out before her arrival, I would never expect someone to do that!

Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:49

I think she meant it's not safe out there but I took it a bit personally because of course the world isn't safe but that isn't to say I would let her DD come to any harm in that big nasty world. In fact, I watch children in my care like a hawk because I know what the consequences could be if I didn't, same as anyone really!

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Original poster

LolaTheShowgirl · 08/12/2007 18:52

Hi weegle I can completely understand your reason for having your aupair! I can understand this lady for wanting one, or any SAHM given the hard job of looking after children and combining the more mundane daily chores but I thought she would give me more responsibility - esp with a 7 yr old!

OP posts:

nannynick · 08/12/2007 19:41

Even more stranger than the lack of a room in a decent state to show prospective employees, is the salary rise. £100 to £300, big rise in salary... yet it's the same job.

I had an interview for a nanny job with a family who would not allow their children out of their home... I turned it down. I'd go stir crazy stuck in one place all the time.

Think you are right to turn this job down... something not right about it.

Nightynight · 08/12/2007 19:45

sounds a bit weird and disorganised. I would turn it down, it sounds as though they dont know what boundaries to set.

I have once had an AP who had to move into a room with only a bed!! we had no furniture in the rest of the flat either, in fact she had the only bed in the flat. But we always paid her on time.

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 08/12/2007 19:45

never mind 'not safe out there' - I don't think it sounds particularly safe in their home. She sounds like a total loon!

Nightynight · 08/12/2007 21:16

would you be her first nanny? She sounds totally inexperienced at recruiting, tbh.

maximummummy · 08/12/2007 22:50

O M G

CHANGE YOUR PHONE NUMBER

i think she's a mentalist

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