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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

au pair has just handed keys back and off she went....

21 replies

friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 17:59

there was a difference of opinion about cheese during the week! And I did by accident sent her a text saying cowbag has eaten all my cheese.That was meant for DP, who had bought me in my precious pregnant hormonally charged state a small pack of wensleydale cheese the day before as I'm off food in general.
But off she's gone, without a goodbye to the children.
They got back and more or less said good!
So I am at fault re erroneous message but nothing else, she was awful.
She wouldn't eat with us.She never tried to engage with us as adults ( she is over 30) so why I had expected her to be much differnet with my brood I don't know.
Uncaring towards the children, and they spent a lot of time saying she didn't listen to them. I have wanted her to go but when your contingency plans are limited its not good and now have to get through on a wing and a prayer!
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... sorry just a little vent and I'm shaking

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SpacePuppy · 07/12/2007 18:01

honestly if I knew my employer thought that of me I'd leave the same day.

Anna8888 · 07/12/2007 18:04

Agree with SpacePuppy on this one.

She may have been no good, but that wasn't a good way of getting rid of her . Think you got all you deserve.

nannynick · 07/12/2007 18:30

But if she haden't eaten all the cheese in the first place, the text message wouldn't have been sent. Modern technology hey - it can get you in trouble so much easier.

So what now... will you consider another au-pair, or will you give that idea a rest and try for other solutions?

camillathechicken · 07/12/2007 18:37

sounds like it has worked out well if you say she was awful and you thought she was a cowbag and the children didn't like her

LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 07/12/2007 18:39

I don't blame her for going but I can't blame you for doing the text to DP like that, god, if someone nicked my spring rolls or anything I fancy at the time (also pregnant ) I'd be FUMING The text to her was an ACCIDENT so you didn't mean harm however I can understand it just couldn't work after that. Anyway, you sound better off without her!!

What care do you require? Could you get some kind of temporary help until you find someone else?

Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 18:40

Yes I still think she was a cowbag for eating all my cheese. Cowbag is really in my circle like calling someone a silly moo.
If I had wanted to say something or think soemthing really bad about her I would have used and thought other terms entirely.
Whether I deserve to be left without two weeks notice is slightly different.

Maybe its exactly what I deserve..but the children deserve better

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LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 07/12/2007 18:42

I think under the circumstances you can't blame her for not working notice, I know it's not fair and how you feel about the children etc. but having to live in the same house as someone who called you a cowbag by text, well, I know I couldn't stay (still agree she shouldn't have had it and you didn't mean to text her but you must understand the awkwardness)

soapbox · 07/12/2007 18:43

Oh sh*t!

What are you going to do?

I have a number for temporary nanny agency if that would help?

Will bring it with me tomorrow morning.

soapbox · 07/12/2007 18:48

Friendlyedgit is lovely and has put up with so much from this au pair in order to keep continuity going for the sake of the children.

I think the real reason FE was at the end of her tether is that the au pair really made no effort with the children - in fact she had said herself that she was no longer making any effort with FE's 5 yo DD - who is a robust character but totally and utterly lovable.

I think in the longer term you are all right, FE will be better off without her - but can we cut her a bit of slack while she has a minor panic over the practicalities of the next few weeks - please?

blueshoes · 07/12/2007 18:49

She sounds atrocious. I would say it must be a huge sigh of relief for you and your dcs to see the back of her. Once it has sunk in, I am sure you won't be sorry and in retrospect, solved a lot of your problems in one swift blow, instead of it dragging on for weeks and weeks.

Bother to have to start again, but at least it is a fresh slate.

If she was any good or considerate, you wouldn't have sent that text.

LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 07/12/2007 18:52

Oh, I totally agree the au pair sounds crap and I don't blame her for feeling that way, was just saying I couldn't blame her for not giving notice under the circumstances but I still feel for the OP.

FE - what exactly do you need? Could an emergency childminder help? If that's an option, try this emergency childcare website

Otherwise, tell us what you need and we'll try and help

YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice · 07/12/2007 18:52

Well, I think I'd probably storm out if I discovered my employer had called me a cowbag (I'd be thinking what else have they said)

However, from what you say, it's for the best. You can find a new AP that you get on better with.

Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 18:57

It will all work out for the best, I hope, for all of us. I do wonder if it was a Freudian slip! I would never intentionally upset anyone. I don't curse, or usually swear and not into name calling although have a choice vocabulary.
So again back to the drawing board, another aupair cannot think.
It may be that we're so awful here that we can't live with anyone?!
I'll be on maternity leave from March so not sure how that will change dynamics!
Have one at nursery who I ferry there and back and 2 school goers who I'll need to juggle somehow!

OP posts:
LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 07/12/2007 19:03

A childminder could do all that without living in unless it's housework and stuff you also need? Tell us exactly what you need!

Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 19:10

soaps!yo!
my typing is so bad not keeping up at all!
will have a look at that emergency childcare website thanks looneyplayingetc.
I'm meeting ladies from dd1 class tonight so hoping that can find a little help there..

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 19:13

have thought of childminder but always hard in this area to find CM for more than one child.
I need a nana !! wish lived near me mammmy!!

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soapbox · 07/12/2007 19:15

Don't think we are letting you escape back to the Emerald Isle - what would we do without you?

LOONEYplayingachristmasTUNEy · 07/12/2007 19:22

Would about a live out nanny or something?

Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 19:24

bless you. mo dhaidi said on phone that they'd cancel trip to Spain to see the brother and come over to help, which of course I won't allow.
shall catch you tomorrow! off to have a cuppa. and think about what to wear that still fits to meet the ladies!! could really do with a large bottle of wine!! same cannot still bear the smell...

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyedjit · 07/12/2007 19:27

Live out I think would be better looneyplaying! I'll get over tonight, and sleep on it and then hit frenzy point again over the weekend.
Thanks all..

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 07/12/2007 20:16

Ta do dhaidi go hiontach ar fad, friendlyedjit! I do think you were very unlucky with your Au Pair! And it is annoying that she's left when you have no back-up. MIL annoys the hell out of me but she does pick up the slack when we have childcare problems.

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