Getting an au-pair for the 1st time

[Natsuzy]

Hi
I'm new to mumsnet.
We are currently searching on Au-pair world for an au-pair. We are first timers to au-pairing.
Probably naively I thought this process would be really easy - advertise us and find one.
I seem to be spending every evening emailing and replying to girls then being let down??

Please can I have advice on:
What I need to be looking for.
What I should be offering.

Primarily I've said the care of the boys, very light housework, boys laundry, keeping the place tidy during the day, cook for boys when needed. I work 30 hours a week, shifts, so I'm actually around quite a lot.

Is there anything else I need to be thinking of, doing in preparation?

Thanks

Natsuzy I am rarely on MN these days so apologies in advance if I post a couple of times and then disappear.

I have had the same experience as you re: spending every evening e-mailing and then being let down, so you're not alone there.

I've said that I need someone who will help with childcare and the children with their French or German (whichever the au pair speaks), some light housework and some help with looking after the family pets.

Whatever you need to be thinking of in preparation, so do I! Our potential au pair is coming to visit us this w/e and, if she likes us and we like her, she'll be returning to live with us at the end of the month.

I'll try to remember to keep an eye on this thread as I'm sure I'll find it really useful.

Us to, potential ap coming Saturda, well at least hope she's coming! Hopefully to start in Jan.

There have been some great threads in the past if you search for aupair, au-pair & ap in this section.

Will try and answer in more depth tomorrow, but really must do some work!

Are you writing too much? Giving too much detail? They may be overwhelmed, bearing in mind their English may not be perfect.

Bear in mind not just the job, but also the benefits, as they try to picture their lives with you, such as:
Your location, close proximity to city centre/parks/swimmingpool/places of interest
possibility for language courses,
and:
Their room, is it nice, and airy? Do they get a cd player? Shared bathroom? Plenty of storage space? Do they sleep with the children? Do they get a tv?
In general, are they welcome to use the facilities of the house, watch tv in the living room, use your computer to keep in touch with friends and family?
Will you provide bus pass?
Other perks?

Remember, you are selling yourself, your family and your lifestyle.

I think everyone goes through a lot of time-wasters.

First, be picky about who your reply to.
I write standard responses I can cut and paste: a "yes" (would like to discuss more) and a polite "no thanks".

Second, I produced a short word doc, about 1.5 sides describing us, our house, our location, the city, the duties. I recommend you write in a way that allows your personality to come across (based on feedback I got on other families).

I also did a questionnaire which I sent to most of them covering the big issues: boyfriends, whether they've been away from home before and food! (oh and childcare experience!)

This means you actual spend very little time in the early stages until you've identified some gems.

I also uploaded quite a lot of photos of the house.

Hope some of that helps!

How much does it cost to have an au pair?

Depends where you are, what you want them to do, what hours.... From aound £60 pw upwards.

Thanks.

I copied someone's questionnaire of about 25 questions and sent it to a couple, and one replied within about 2 hours all answered so very impressed. My only reservation about her is she's leaving a boyfriend behind...

We are offering £60p/w. this is based on about 20-30 hours per week looking after 2 pre school boys.

Glad to have found this site, have found some really useful stuff on here.

x

My ap has left her bf behind, but really wanted to come to England, so was well motivated. She's been away before, so knew what to expect. She's been a bit homesick, but generally OK. Ask her what her bf thinks about it.

£60pw for 20-25 hours sole care? I wouldn't have wanted my ap to do much sole care before she arrived. Now she's here, I know she would be fine for the odd few hours, but I wouldn't have banked on it.

My AP left her boyfriend behind. It was not a problem.

The au pair who I hope will be coming to us used to work about 35 - 40 hours a week for £120. She had sole care of a young child for most of her working time, though. She will have some sole care here but my children are secondary school age so it isn't so much of an issue. I wouldn't bank on sole care for a young child with someone I haven't met before, personally.

if she is leaving bf behind you should be upfront and very clear about if/when he can come and stay or after a couple of weeks she may well assume he can come ans stay as often as he likes.

Word of caution, you have to think long and hard if you want him to stay in your house at all, and how this will affect the dynamics in the house, the time spent with the children, her care for her duties etc.

I have a "no male overnight stays" policy, so when my AP's boyfriend came to visit, he stayed in a hotel nearby. He was of course invited for dinner, but she went to stay with him in the hotel over the weekend.