Older child hitting my baby.. don’t know what to do

[kayrayhunter]

I started sending my 7 month old to a local childminders last month for 4 hrs a day. I run a business so I have to work. Things have been going really well. He generally seems happy when I pick him up. The childminder has been very happy with my ds too. She had mentioned difficulty of settling in an 18 month old girl called Rose. I hadn’t thought much of it. Today I arrived and the childminder said she would go and change my ds nappy, so she left the room. I was left with a 5 year old and the ‘problem’ 18 month old. The little girl said ‘she’s naughty’ about the 18 month old. I said ‘why is she naughty’ and she replied ‘she hits the babies’ I asked ‘does she hit Wolfie (my ds) and she nodded! I’m devastated. I didn’t say anything to the childminder right then. I was in a bit of shock. But now I’m imagining my smiley little baby being regularly hit by this bigger kid. I’m wondering if I should approach this with the childminder? Or is this normal? Do bigger kids hit babies? Trying to work out how to
Approach it with her and how much of a big deal it is.

You're basing all this on the word of a 5yo that you asked leading questions to?

Yes toddlers can hit babies, an 18 month old is also very little and learning, they are not a 'problem child' childminder should be ensuring hitting isn't going on... that said, occasionally these things do happen and that is part of the risk of having a child in childcare (even school, later on).

Perhaps at 7 months baby is too young to be left with a childminder who has multiple kids to care for. A baby room in a nursery might be better?

Ask if the kid has been hitting your baby?

@BuffySummersReportingforSanity - thanks for your input, although the child mentioned the hitting before any questions were asked.

@BrilliantBetty. That makes sense. I get that the 18 month old is just developing. I just don’t want ds to get hurt or to pick up any bad habits. Its a valid suggestion r.e the baby room, but I see value in him mixing with different ages so he can learn from the other kids. I’m not sold on the idea of a nursery setting right now for him. I plan to send him when he’s 2/3. I like the homely vibe the childminder offers (minus the hitting ).

I’m going to flag it when I drop him off on Monday and check what safeguarding she has in place. Hopefully they aren’t left on their own together.

Thanks everyone

18 month olds hit, your baby will do at this age. A 5 year old may well take one occasion and say they are naughty it dosent mean it's happened before or since..
But....the childminder should not have left you alone with minded children....thats safegaurding

Very odd that she went to change your baby's nappy when you were actually there, leaving the other mindees in your care. Sounds very wrong to me.

First, the comments saying the children were in your care is inaccurate. The EYFS states that children must be within sight OR hearing at all times, preferably both. If the children were still within earshot then they were still in the childminder’s care and she could still reasonably be claiming to be looking after them. Parents of minded children certainly aren’t comparable to safeguarding risks like a stranger would be, and especially not if all within ear shot and for less than a minute whilst a nappy was changed.

Secondly, you absolutely do not need to be concerned OP. All 18 month olds can hit, and a very gentle tap, or even an attempt to hit that was blocked by the childminder would still likely be categorised as hitting by a 5 year old. They also say things often that are entirely untrue. You asked a leading question by asking if your son had been hit, which means she was more likely to say yes even if the answer was no. The 5 year old could have said that because a friends 1 year old hits, or because she knows babies of this age do hit, or because there had been an actual incident. But her telling you that doesn’t really make it any more likely to happen at all. 5 year olds are not reliable witnesses to say the least.

I wouldn’t mention it to the childminder unless you have any other reason to suspect your son is getting hurt such as injuries or him being upset around other children.

@Enwi

Children must never be left alone with someone not dbs checked they may be in hearing but you wouldn't hear someone touching a child inappropriately or exposing themselves. Normal circumstances are sight or hearing preferably both but that does not refer to being left in a room with unapproved adults which is why if you were to have a guest in a cm you would need to ask them to step outside if for example you needed the loo even if you could hear the children.