new nanny's first day - help!

[Cakehead]

Our new nanny started today - the first time we've had one for DS1 and DS2. But I'm not sure if this is normal. I cooked lunch today for all of us, as obviously she didn't know where anything was. But afterwards, she just took DS off to play and left me clearing the table and washing up. Then I put both boys down for their naps and she's downstairs reading a book. Our playroom is like a bombsite. I thought she might well have just done a quick tidy-up seeing as she's got 2 hours to spare.

In my dreams I'd like her to use this time to cook up a few veggie purees for DS2 who's six months old, but that's probably expecting too much, isn't it? But a little tidy up, surely...? Am I being unreasonable? Should I go down and disturb her reading?!! I've even told her she can go home early today as it's her first day. Am I getting this all wrong??

you need to spell out what she should be doing. what are you doing on mnet? go and tell her what you expect! good luck

Yes yes yes, clearing up a playroom is...... exactly what I'd expect to do if I found myself with a few minutes. Extra jobs like ironing, preparing purees, things like that - it all fits in to naptime.

Go and tell her!

Cakehead, listen to Nifty and start as you mean to go on!

i dont think think cooking and tidying up playroom, and kitchen is unreasonable.when i was a nanny i used the time they napped to cook,iron and tidy.Did you tell her in interveiw what her duties were !!!.

God I'm lame. You're all right. Will count today as getting-to-know-you day and start afresh tomorrow. And yes, job description clearly outlined duties. DH has pointed out baby laundry bin like Mount Etna. In fairness, she did tell me later to tell her what I wanted...

It is her first day so unless you have told her exactly what her job is, I would cut her a little slack.

Have you got a contract? Does she know what her duties are or are you expecting her to know?

It is hard to just get stuck in when you are new to a job.

I did a sort of timetable for ex-nanny. Partly so she knew children's routines and what time pick up and drop offs were for school/playgroup and partly so I could put in some suggestions as to what to do for some of the nap-time or time when both children were at pre-school/school.
You should show her exactly how to use the washing machine etc (dh showed one of our ex-nannies but she still refused to do any washing for the first few weeks as she 'didn't understand the machine' - had to go through it again slowly and also write it down so there were no excuses.

Mind you, if it's your first day, would you just plonk yourself down with a book or would you ask if there's anything your new boss would like you to do?

Hmm?

Sounds like you are going to have to tell her the obvious stuff at first, but hopefully she will catch on quickly. Good luck!

Yes, do have a contract with very clear job description tagged onto the end. I just think it's a bit of both of us, probably. I need to be more direct about things, although as this is her first day, I don't think it hurts that we've had a - ahem - gentle start.
Although, she left without tidying up the playroom, which was quite clearly trashed from a day's rampage, and I'd just had a bumper load of shopping delivered and while I know it's not her job to put the familly shop away, I just thought that maybe it would have been nice to say 'Can I give you a hand with any of this?'.

I think she needs a bit of training for the newjob. It's possible she didn't clean up because she didn't know where things go, so she followed the kids because she knew how to do that. You could write out a sample day and tell her it's just a suggestion.

I think I would also make a list of things I expect done at the end of the day, end of the week, etc. For example:

End of day:
Play room tidy
Dishes washe, counter wiped down.
Kids bathed and in pyjamas
Teeth brushed.
Kids clothes in washing basket,etc.

Once a week:
Bed clothes washed and changed
Shool uniforms washed and ironed and hanging in closet

And so on...

Then, if she has trouble accomplishing the tasks, I'd suggest things might do during nap time, easy ways to prepare nutritious food quickly, etc.

I would also install weekly/monthly review sessions. Take her out for a meal and chat about the kids. Make it fun and just have a chat. Let her know that you value her opinion, but also be clear that you make the decisions.

Oh oh oh, and this is a good nanny diary.

My nanny's job spec says it IS her job to put the family shop away. The children like to help with this to the extent that they ask for it to be delivered when they are not napping or at school.

you might find that she gets more done when you are not around and leave her to it, but I don't think igoring a messy playroom is a good start... by all means cut some slack at first, but not too much

The book reading thing I feel is of concern. As it was the first day, and you were at home, it was reasonable for you to settle the boys for their afternoon nap. But, I would have expected nanny to tag along behind, so that they (she in this case), could see how the established routine worked.

Cooking baby food - I do that at the same time as making main meals. When possible, babies food is just a small portion of what the others are having.

Day 1 - it can be a settling in day. But tomorrow is a new day, and as others have said you need to start as you plan to go on. So if you will be at home, go though routines, how to use appliances and the things you expect done such as clearing up the playroom. If you will be working - then make a list.

But - and it's a big But - did you get on with her, did the boys get on with her, do you feel that the boys will feel settled with her so you are able to leave them with her?
Relationships are important, and this first day may have been the most time your boys have spent with their new nanny.

Yep, the little ones loved her. In fact, by 10.00 on the first day, my oldest was shooing me away so he could have her to himself!

Have done things a little differently today. Got her more involved, have showed her how the laundry works, etc. And to be fair, she's suggested herself that she does some batch cooking to get ahead when they're sleeping - albeit sometime in the future.

I've allowed myself a whole month at home with her before going back to work, just so we can settle things gradually, so maybe I was expecting too much too soon. Thanks for all the advice, though.

Sounds like you are doing OK Cakehead. I am at home with our nanny one day a week and I think that we both find that day difficult. But you do need to lay down the law a bit now - I haven't done this enough with our nanny and now three months in it feels too late to raise things that she's been doing from the beginning.

The most important think is how she gets on with your ds's - I am always moaning to my sister about nanny, sis asked the nanny to look after her ds for an hour whilst my ds1 was at preschool today and my sis said that ds2 was having a lovely time with her and I should cute her some slack!

As a first time nanny-employer I think that the relationship takes a bit of getting used to. I feel like our nanny is in my house doing my job and to be honest feel a bit jealous of her so it's very easy to be critical. Not that I think you are being unreasonable at all - our nanny would read her magazine after she'd done some cooking.

Thanks for that. Things getting much better. She's asked for a timetable of what we want in a day and that's helped enormously. I've been able to slip in things that I just found really hard to say without sounding petty. Only things like 'tidy the playroom', 'clear up after food', but it's working. We've had a good chat at lunchtime and I think this is going to work out now.

as a nanny there is no way i would just leave my employer to clear up after she had cooked for us..and i would certainly want to show willing on the mucking in side of things..you should def talk to her..it will only contiune to wind you up and then you will feel resentful..

x