Should we do 5 half days or 3 full days (or combo) for DC1 whilst on I'm on mat leave?

[Smileyclouds]

Hello, I'm currently on mat leave with DC2 (8 weeks old). DC1 (2.5 years old) goes to nursery 3 full days in a week and has done since she was 1 year old when I went back to work.

However this set up isn't really working at the moment for two reasons...

Firstly because toddler is really after nursery every day she's there, which causes issues in the evening with behaviour and going to bed etc. I started picking her up at 4pm so she does 9-4pm which has helped slightly.

And secondly because I'm finding the days with both of them really hard - kudos to anyone who does that full time! But I get very stressed trying to keep them both happy, and no one seems to have a nice day.

So we are looking at moving to either 5 half days or 4 half days and 1 full day. A half day at nursery is 8-1pm or 1-6pm so would probably go for the morning. I would have time with the baby each morning whilst DC1 is in nursery. DC1 would have her nap at nursery then we could go out for the afternoon with the baby.

Nursery are quite flexible with days and we might also be able to trial some half days before deciding. But I don't have any friends with two children to ask for their advice!

Could anyone share their experiences of what they did for childcare whilst on mat leave? Any pros or cons that I've not considered? Eg being tied to a 1pm pick up time every day?

For context, DH works from home full time and is done by 5pm every evening. Money is not really a consideration - more about what's best for toddler, baby and the family as a whole!

I'd go for 5 x mornings, and let her have her nap once she gets home rather than putting pressure on yourself to gout out with the two of them every afternoon.

I think it depends on your routine and your DH’s rota? I found that Dd (2.9) sticking to her full days was better in the long run when DS (7 months) arrived as it meant that I had full days to either catch up on sleep, run errands etc. We could then have longer trips out with DH (he works regular weekends and different days off each week) or friends etc on the other days without worrying about restricting us to mornings or afternoons or making days too busy with nursery and then meeting friends on the same day which caused the same sort of issues at bedtime. We did find that tag teaming bedtime between us really helped in the early days, and now do bedtime alternately with one of us doing both children while the other tidies and does dinner. We do still find that if one or other child is tired from a busy days or bad naps (DS as Dd doesn’t nap anymore except at nursery 🙄) then we need both of us to do bedtime. It is really personal to each family though so might be worth trialling half days for a couple of weeks to see if it works better for you, but with our family full days worked better in the long run 🙂

We kept to 2 full days when I was on mat leave and found it worked well. Mondays/Tuesdays DS2 just slotted in to whatever I was doing with DS1 so he came along to the trampoline or football class in the pram and DS1 burned off some energy! Then Wednesday/Thursday DS1 was at nursery so I'd go for a big walk each day with the pram for exercise and then could book swimming class etc for DS2 without having to worry about being home for a lunch time nursery pick up. Friday we could just relax after a busy week and didn't have any times to stick to.

I feel the half days would have you rushing about every day for pick up/drop off. DS2 wasn't much of a napper so I'd have hated to wake him to get to the nursery.

Thank you all for your thoughts and considerations - I've read your replies a few times this week in helping our decision! I'm going to leave the full days currently then try some half days in the future. Thanks!