Childcare worry

[spanishroots]

Hi! Not sure which category to put this in but I have a 8 month old little one and I'm shortly returning to work 3 days a week. My parents will have my baby 2 days a week and they're really familiar with his routines and age appropriate toys etc. My mother in law is having my little one for 1 day a week and I'm so nervous about it. She hasn't made an effort to learn his routines and only sees him every few weeks. I know he won't settle. I have asked my OH so many times to arrange a few trial days with her and he hasn't done so. Also, she will be looking after her 3 year old grandchild alongside my little one and I don't feel comfortable with it. She plays with little Lego toys etc and my little one is always putting stuff in his mouth. Also, I just worry that she won't be watching him all of the time as the 3 year old is quite demanding. I actually caught her giving my baby a small toy I had previously told her not to and she looked at me sheepishly. I just don't trust the situation and it doesn't feel right: am I being pathetic?! I know I am quite an anxious mum!

Can you pay for professional childcare for that day instead?

@nimbuscloud that's an option but I don't want to offend her. She's offered and my OH is confident she will be ok. I also forgot to add, my little one will be looked after in the house of the 3 year old child and her 5 year old sibling (who will be at school) with toys and bits and pieces strewn all over the floor. I just don't feel comfortable that he will be prioritised when looking at safety etc x

The problem with anyone else looking after your kids, whether that's a nursery, childminder, grandparent or friend is you have to accept that they will do things differently to you. Some people, like your own parents, may be more inclined to go along with your preferences, but even they cannot be expected to do everything 100% how you want. IME, child care providers will adapt your child's routine to better suit theirs, but children adapt very easily.

Meant with the greatest of respect, how do you think nurseries, childminders and parents with more than one child supervise multiple children at once? This situation will arise is any setting, surely?

I understand they're your baby and how protective that will make you. I'm looking at this as someone with two older children. I was very protective of my first and much, more relaxed with my second.

I think you should say you're very grateful for the offer but you are putting him in childcare once per week to give him a chance to socialise with other children (particularly important being a lockdown baby!).
Personally I wouldn't give my child to someone who only sees them once in a while, doesn't know their routine and doesn't understand they could choke on small toys.
Nurseries are looking after children of the same age and are trained professionals who structure things to allow them to look after multiple children, it's a completely different scenario.
Our nursery stuck to my rigid routine for a year until they gradually changed it with my agreement once he went in to the older room.