How much do nannies cost?

[needmorecoffee]

Just wondering. I have a severely disabled 3 yo and am knackered. MIL made noises about paying for help as she's rich and we are on benefits. If someone came from, say, 8 till 8 (no room to live in as house is too small) what sort of money are we looking at?
I feel a tad embaressed as I've always looked after my kids (I have 4 in total) but I am now disabled and looking after dd all day is just too much.
Then dh could go back to work (low wage so can't pay for a nanny ourselves)
I wouldn't want someone to take over but provide the physical support, like being dd's hands, holding and lifting so I could enjoy playing with her. Coming to toddlers with me but doing the lifting.
I feel a bit weird about having someone in the house but social services wont provide respite

Depends what kind of qualifications/experience you're looking at, and also where in the country you are.

www.snapchildcare.co.uk is a specialist nanny agency for nannies wanting to work with special needs children - their website might be able to help, and from a nannies POV I can recommend them.

It varies by location, but as a rough guide, I would say cost to employer is £10 per hour, so £120 a day. London prices may well be higher. Additional costs to factor in are mileage (40p per mile) while on duty, nannies meals, plus cost of activities/entrance costs/toddler groups, etc.

If you do not already receive Direct Payments look into that, as you may find you get some help with the cost of employing a carer (though it can be hard to get Social Services to agree to funding). Post in Special Needs for info about Direct Payments and advice on if you are eligible plus how to persuade Social Services to pay it. If MIL wants to pay for a nanny - then that is another option.

If you need specialist help, then Snap Childcare as already recommended... but if you don't need someone trained to do tube-feeding (for example), then any nanny may be suitable who wants to work with disabled children.

Have you literally no spare room in the house? Even if you moved the kids around? I ask because an au pair would be ideal - an ext4ra pair of hands. I have a similar-ish situ in that I have a disability which makes lifting difficult and at times impossible so I have an au pair to do the hard stuff and I enjoy DS but remain his primary carer which is important to me. The au pair of course also does the housework which I can't do e.g. hoovering. And I pay her £60 per week plus board and lodging.

no room. 3 bedrooms, 4 kids. The disabled one sleeps in with me and dh sleeps on the sofa as it is. We are normal every day people who wouldn't of dreamt of nannies/au pairs.
We do get 9 hours a week DP respite but with me being disabled too its like a drop in a bucket. In-laws want dh to go back to work (they are a bit snobby about the whole benefits thing)
I'll look into the Snap thing so thanks for that. It'll only be till dd goes to school full time.

How do you do the asking? I find it hard even telling the respite carer what to do cos it sounds bossy (I'm such a wimp!)
Thanks for the ideas

for an 8 til 8 and a nanny i would say at least £25k gross

Where abouts are you?

down south...

hampshire / sussex

(more £ in london)

Somerset, so boringly out west.

One way of getting some help is to contact a local college or sixth-form which trains childcarers, when I was training I worked in a families home and they signed to say I'd done some tasks eg bathing a child etc. You could get some help, for free, but not really long-term and definatly not sole charge until you get to know them. just a thought.

I would urge you to try (I know that is hard when you feel so exhausted) and push harder for some funding from social services.
you really do have to be honest about how difficult you are finding it. You will need your g.p on board with this. Don't be afraid to make lots of calls.
Something worth considering is that Social services across the country are holding tight on spending right now. They are are all extremely strapped for cash! If you don't make a fuss and demonstrate to them that you are struggling they will not help.
If you can bare to do it, keep calling!!!
The better time to get some support is right at the beginning of the financial year (so you could use this time to put together some facts and think about what time of support you would need) Direct payments are intended for people just like you.
You are saving Social services an enormous amount of money right now by struggling along quietly.
I did what you are doing and it is impossible. Now my dd is an adult and I definately can not care for her the bill to social sevices is £1700 per week for a place in a specialist care home.
A carers allowance is less than £50 per week
You have my utmost respect,
I will be thinking of you
xxx

Thankyou ladies for all your ideas. Am going to look at getting SS direct payments to fund a nanny type arrangement (part time) before I approach MIL. Mainly cos MIL will harp on about it forever
Given me a glimmer of hope.
Of course, maybe I'll win the lottery, get a big house and have a full time nanny heehee.

Whatever happens I'm sure I'll be back for advice as reading through all your posts it doesn't seem to be as super-easy as I imagined.